She Wasn't You

Chapter 45

The early afternoon went by without much drama, the buzz of excitement around Ricky's arrest was now waining and people were beginning to remember the reason we were all here and rightly so, we had to celebrate Nicola's life, so I felt now was the time to get this party really started as I was running out of time.

As the fifth person who had stood up to give a eulogy on Nicola's life, it looked like that was the end of the speeches, tears were already drying up and as I still had a few hours until I had to drive again I thought now was the best time.

I looked across at Danny as the chatter amongst people began to start again "Shots?"

"You can't have shots at a funeral, Tommy!" He whispered.

"Who came up with that rule? And since when did you become the fucking fun police?" I snap and turn around looking.

"Caroline will join us, won't you?" I grabbed her hand and span her around. "You'll have a few shots, right?"

"If you're buying, I will." She replied before ending her conversation and sitting with us.

"See! She's not as boring as you make out she is." I leave that comment there as I stand up to leave Danny in one of the most awkward situations he could possibly find himself in.

I saw you still sitting alone, nursing the glass of wine you had from when you arrived so decided now was the best time for a second shot at engaging with you.

"Come on Katie, I'm getting some shots in and I'm not asking you to join us. I'm telling you, you're coming to sit with us. I know today has been shit and obviously we've had our moments in the past but Nicola would want you to be happy, she would hate seeing you sitting around moping. I promise you there is no ulterior motive, let's start again as friends?" I leave the question hanging in the air.

Okay, so I lied a little. We both know Nicola would love the fact you're sitting there missing her, she was always playing the victim, so she would be loving this and there is nobody she would hate to see you with more than me right now, so this was my very last 'fuck you' to her.

My heart smiled as you looked up at me smiling sweetly as you agreed and offered to help me at the bar. It was a little step but a hugely significant one in my eyes. We had finally opened up a path to conversation at least but given the time constraints I was currently under, I needed to take this with both hands and start running.

"I'm sorry you're having to go through this alone today, Katie. Is your husband coming along later?" This was my attempt at seeing how much time I had with you alone and whether or not it was worth pushing this opportunity while being very concerned at the same time.

"It's okay, I'm not alone. I have more than enough people here to talk to, I just really don't feel like mingling. And no, he is working the nightshift at the hospital today so he can't make it." She smiled at the bartender who had just taken the order of 12 tequila shots from me.

I nod sympathetically even though on the inside I was jumping for joy. I could still sense the awkwardness between us and it hadn't gone unnoticed how far away from me you were standing. So I had to address the elephant in the room and see exactly where your head was at regarding the situation we found ourselves in.

"So, what's your thoughts on Ricky being arrested? I wasn't there so didn't see anything, I've just been hearing whispers around the pub."

Our tequila shots are served, tapping my card on the reader for payment as I thank the girl behind the bar and leave the tray there until Katie responds. This was not a walk and talk discussion, I needed to look at you as you answered this question.