She Wasn't You

Chapter 14

2000

Our relationship was becoming strained.

Tanya and I were going from strength to strength, we were now officially a couple. I'm not quite sure how or when we came to that decision back then but I overheard Tanya in the lunch hall talk about me as her boyfriend, so I guess that was that.

I could tell you hated her and I thought I would enjoy you feeling that way towards her because you had always kept your cards so close to your chest that I never really believed you actually liked me until that day you purposely bumped your shoulder into her, causing her to drop her books on to the floor and just glanced her a horrible look, you walked on with your friends without an apology. That wasn't you. You looked bitchy and desperate. It wasn't a good look on you, it annoyed me. She was my girlfriend after all and I had to protect her.

That's what led to our first argument. I called you out in the middle of the corridor, do you remember that? I do.

The shock on your face when you realised I was being serious, I knew I was potentially ruining any future change we had of getting back together but your actions had to be called out and part of me needed to show you that I had a backbone, I needed you to know that if there was to be an us in the future that I would stand up for you and protect you too. Nobody messed around with my girlfriend.

We exchanged words and I could tell I had put you on the back foot because you wasn't expecting me to come at you like that but you needed to know that I didn't like bullies and that's how you just looked, Katie. You looked like a horrible bully. In short, it wasn't a good look, it was borderline pathetic.

If your plan was to make her look weak, it failed miserably. Tanya now had a platform to build on, you forced her hand and made her stand up and rub your face in our relationship even more. Each time we were together from that moment on and you were in her line of vision, she made sure to hold on to me, linking my arm into hers, holding my hand, pushing her head into my chest, taking my arm and placing it around her shoulder or waist and occasionally kissing me as you approached. If anything Katie, you made us stronger and turned us into the power couple of the school.

PDA was seen as a sign of strength back then. Surrounded by horny teenagers, the sight of you kissing a girl in front of everyone made you an absolute king in their eyes. So we gained our peers respect through our show of affection.

But as I look back now, Katie this would also play a pivotal role in the years to come that may have coincided with our ultimate downfall. I didn't realise it at the time but as you grow up and look back at your life from time to time, it becomes easier to spot where you went wrong. Maturity really is a blessing and a curse.

                                   ~~~

Tanya and I had now been together for around 6 months and had seen in the new millennium together. That was almost unheard of in school. Katie, I don't think we had managed a whole 6 days! We were 100% couple goals, although that obviously wasn't a term back then.

As Tanya was Portuguese, she was the envy of most girls in school, her beautiful shiny brown hair, tanned skin and perfect green eyes, she didn't realise how beautiful she was but from seeing how other girls now began to adore her, her confidence shone through and she wore it well.

She began receiving much more attention from other guys now. It felt like I was number 1 lion in the jungle and I felt like a pack were coming for my lioness, attempting to catch her eye and take her away from me but it wasn't going to happen.

I did have an issue with one guy in particular, this guy had her head turning away from me, I could tell she was into him and if I'm honest, it did make me jealous as I couldn't compete with his Latin charm and good looks. I was losing her.

I was losing her to another Ricky....

Ricky Martin!

That son of a bitch just burst on to the scene without warning. He was sent from the Gods with his damn good looks and chiselled body and to add insult to injury this fucker could dance like nobody had ever seen before.

Hearing "Livin la Vida Loca" still to this day brings back slight jealous vibes.

Oh how I wish I was still in contact with Tanya when he came out. I would have mocked her for days about it. The man she was so desperate to meet and marry would have turned her down for another man. I bet she cried all day when the news broke. I just remember bursting out into laughter that day as it felt like he may have won the battle back in 1999 but I certainly won the war.

We used to rush off after school to the record store every Thursday to pick up the latest Smash Hits magazine and she used to browse the singles charts, picking up all of the CD's and studying them for what seemed like an eternity but she was in her absolute element each time we visited, we would spend hours in there, only occasionally purchasing the odd CD. I remember walking out with a Backstreet Boys single once, I'm pretty sure it was "I Want It That Way." At the time, I wasn't a massive fan but because it was a way to keep Tanya, I played along and embraced her hobby. I'm sure I still have that CD lying around somewhere.

Would you have enjoyed going to the record store with me Katie, was it your thing too?

The other thing that my relationship with Tanya changed was my route home from school. Remember when we used to catch the bus together, Katie? Or on really hot days we would walk home in the same direction, not always together, mainly because Nicola was always with you but close enough to know that we were there should we need one another for company. I used to like watching your ass from a distance.

But as Tanya lived in a completely opposite direction, that wasn't a thing anymore. I was living my own life, walking her home with our hands superglued together and I'll never forget the flavour of her cherry lip gloss, she always had a good amount of gloss on her lips when we kissed goodbye.

We only ever shared pecks on the lips, it was never full on kissing, we always had to be quick in case her father caught us or her younger sister following behind us from school. But her kisses were sweet and cherry filled each time.

The weird thing is Katie, not once did I ever feel guilty about kissing her or holding her hand. You'd have thought I would have, wouldn't you?

But the truth is, whenever I was alone with her, you never crossed my mind.

Not once.