She Wasn't You

Chapter 28

2002

The remainder of the school year was pretty much as I expected after that football match, we had lost the tiny spark I thought we had left burning for one another, we drifted apart. We spoke when put in certain situations and I suppose our friendship did improve but I knew that whatever it was we did have for 4 years had run it's course.

You were still caught in the middle of a triangle between Ricky and Bradley and I was tired of vying for your love and attention. I couldn't bring myself to turn that triangle into a square, I knew that I wasn't going to win.

I had moved on and started a relationship with Sarah, a girl in my year group, she wasn't my usual type but we just clicked one day after never really paying attention to each other for the years we had been in school but I enjoyed her company and her sense of humour. She seemed more grown up than most, someone I could see myself with for the long run.

I usually went for dark haired girls but there was something about her curly blonde hair that really caught my attention from out of nowhere, it might also have been something about how good her legs looked in those navy tights. She screamed sex appeal and my young, horny teenage mind was intrigued.

I think what shocked me most was that we were pretty clearly open about being together, she would sit on my lap on the benches during break and lunch and I saw you walk past us on many occasions but you didn't seem in the least bit interested or jealous.

That hurt, Katie. Why didn't you care?

Her lips were soft, her tongue worked in unison every single time with mine. Her kisses were so good that there were many occasions the bell would ring for next lesson and I'd have to stay sat on the bench waiting for part of me to calm down, until it was safe to stand up again.

She knew what she was doing and she loved the effect she had on me.

With this being my final year, I knew I wasn't going to do as well as maybe I should have or was expected of a few years previously. My head had been consumed and turned by girls and football, I wasn't interested in school any more, I was enjoying being a little bit of a playboy, loving the attention I was receiving and to me, at that time, was all that mattered.

During my relationship with Sarah, I had made an unusual acquaintance, one that I would never have imagined, she was always so quiet and seemed timid around me but something drew us closer together without even realising it was happening and I know that this made you stand up and take notice of me again.

Yeah, myself and one of your best friends, Katy with a Y were now thick as thieves and I can't quite believe I hadn't seen her beauty long before this year. I can only assume I only had eyes for you but there was something about her shy being, her seemingly sweet, innocence that brought us closer and I would be lying if I said that if it wasn't for my relationship with Sarah, I could quite easily have pursued something with Katy. But I was a good boy and our relationship was purely friendship.

I didn't think about it too much but one day it hit me.

Had you sent her?
Had you sent her my way to test me?
Or to get information about my relationship with Sarah?
Were you using her to try and break Sarah and I up?

I quickly dismissed these thoughts but part of me hoped that was the case and this was your way of showing me that you still cared.

Whatever the reason, I was grateful to have her in my corner, even if it was just so I still had a very loose tie to you or deep down maybe I wanted her. I was confused.

What I wasn't expecting was to begin walking her home after school, she didn't live too far but our relationship grew quite quickly and before I knew it, she wasn't part of your group as much, you walked home with her for years and now all of a sudden it had stopped.

I always enjoyed our walks home, she always smelt so good. Whatever perfume she wore, suited her. She would always unbutton her shirt after school and as wrong as it was, I couldn't help but enjoy watching her unbutton those top two or three as we walked and shoved her tie into her bag. Her long brown hair, always tied up. I wasn't sure if her shyness made her even more sexier but whatever it was, she had my attention.

Sarah never felt threatened by her, she even told me to walk her home on occasion. I thought this was a very bold move. Was she now testing me? Waiting for me to slip up? Did she not see Katy as a threat? Or did she just trust me that much?

As you can tell my head was always filled with questions and other people's motives.

One day, it was a warm spring afternoon and I don't know if it was done on purpose but her hand brushed against mine, it was the first time we had ever shared a physical moment together but the electricity through my body was unquestionable, there was something more to this girl, a door had opened slightly and I was intrigued as to what else was behind the door.

I opened up my fingers, not expecting much as I still assumed it was an accident but my heart pounded when her fingers intertwined with mine, closing our hands up into one as we walked. Not once did we look at each-other, we just let it happen and continued the short walk back to her house.

Reality soon hit as we reached her house. Had I sent the wrong signal and was she now expecting me to kiss her?

As we reached her door, I released my fingers from hers and stepped back, smiling towards her but in the same look, letting her know that this couldn't go any further. Sarah had placed all of her trust me in and out relationship, I couldn't risk it, I knew what I had done was wrong and I had to stop it now.

"See you tomorrow, Katy. Have a good evening."

She looked away, her shyness returning as she opened her door without replying or looking at me. She looked embarrassed and that's the last thing I wanted.

As I began my own walk home alone, my head was full of questions once more.

Was she using me?

She wasn't that close to you or your friendship group anymore, so was she playing me to get back at you?

As hard as she tried...

She wasn't you...