She Wasn't You

Chapter 37

Sleeping was off of the agenda last night, as much as I tried I just couldn't drift off to sleep. A mixture of nerves and excitement coursed through my veins the entire night.

Today was the day, Katie. The day we would lay eyes on one another again, the day we would rekindle that fire between us, the day you would realise that I was still and always have been the one for you. I must admit in my preparation for today and to pass some time last night, I may have found that photograph of you on holiday in that black bikini, with your tanned skin glowing and I may have spent quite a bit of time staring at it and becoming acquainted with myself once again. Let me say, it was the most enjoyable time I've had by myself in a very long time.

As my alarm sounded, I instantly jumped from the couch. I decided to sleep downstairs last night when I realised I had to have some alone time, just in case any remnants of my enjoyment went anywhere but my stomach. I had also sent a message from my Bradley catfish account to tell you he would be unable to make the funeral due to work commitments. It was a danger as I had no idea whether or not he would show up or not, but would anyone really suspect it was me pretending to be him should the truth come out about someone pretending to be hun today? I doubted it.

Thankfully my coffee machine was timed to come on just before my alarm and I could already smell the beautiful aroma filling the house as I slipped on my grey sweatpants and white t-shirt. My eyes heavy and my body tired as fuck but I had to push through the tiredness today. I just hoped that this coffee would do the trick. I had to be on top of my game today, I had to keep my wits about me and my charm had to be on boss level status.

With any luck and providing my charm offensive worked as I needed it to today, Katie. Tonight you will be here with me.

The coffee wasn't doing the trick at all, but I couldn't let that hold me back today, I had to power through. I had a big day ahead and I wasn't going to mess it up just due to the lack of sleep. Sat at the counter of my kitchen, I as always checked the news as the search for Nicola's murderer seemed to be yesterday's news for a few days now but with it being the day of her funeral, the police and media would have to put her back on the front page again, if only to make it look to her family that they were still actively investigating even if it was just for today, the news had to report it just to save face.

As I opened up the news app on my phone, as expected some bullshit story was tipping the headlines just to make it look like they were on to something.

'Breakthrough In Murder Investigation'

I couldn't help but laugh as I read through the article. Apparently, in the early hours of this morning they had had a breakthrough and found something of interest at the scene of her murder. Now I'm not going to sit here and lie and say I wasn't a little worried but I knew I had done everything possible not to leave anything behind that could place me at the scene. The clothing worn that evening had since been disposed of and anything else that could have tied me to the scene was dealt with in another way. The only thing that could potentially put me at the scene was DNA and I had never been arrested or had my DNA taken for anything even closely related to the police so even if they did find traces of my DNA, nothing would come up as a match in their records. They would have to go on another wild goose chase before they found a match. I'll just wait for the knock at the door if or when that time comes.

So I couldn't resist after reading that article to creep around on your Facebook again.

Why didn't you have an Instagram? I'm sure I would enjoy seeing you post more of yourself on there. Maybe I'll suggest it later today when we finally have that sit down chat together, or would you just post pictures of your kids? Would you be one of those people? Maybe I'll try and nudge you into the Snapchat world, that way we could send certain photos to one another without fear of that dreaded digital footprint or maybe, I mean I don't think it's for me but I wouldn't mind watching you dance around on tik tok, half naked in your bedroom. That would be very enjoyable for me at least. I mean chances of any of that happening were slim considering you had already blocked me from Facebook but today I would make that right and prove to you that bitch was lying to you just to make me out to be the bad guy.

You hadn't posted anything this morning like I thought you might have done. Maybe, the occasion just got the better of you. You never were a huge online poster but I assumed you would have put something up today. I was secretly hoping of seeing you and Nicola on my feed from back in our school days. It would be a great ice breaker for when we met later on and it would give us something to reminisce over and take us back to being 14/15 again.

As I headed to the shower, giving up on the third cup of coffee as it was having no affect on my tiredness. Maybe a shower would wake me up a little. Which was probably the worst place for me to be this morning as it's the place I get lost in my thoughts, that brief ten minutes or so of my brain becoming over active. Like most people I've probably had countless fake arguments in the shower but this was deeper. Every time I closed my eyes I could see both Philippa and Nicola laying beneath me, helpless as I took away their lives slowly and without any remorse.

Only this occasion, you entered my mind and the anger inside me rose once again, like a fire igniting in my stomach when I think of you snitching on me to the police. Why would you do that, Katie? What harm do I pose to you? I hate snitches but even more so when they have no grounds or evidence to base the snitching on. I closed my eyes and let the dark thoughts take over again.

Only this time, it was your throat that my hands were around.

***