Dead to me

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Siblings are complicated.

Don't get me wrong. Not all siblings have a dramatically complex relationship, but things always get messed up when you expect too much from someone you grew up with. It is different with friends; you get to choose your friends. If they didn't turn out as you expected them to be you would blame your choice. No such privilege came with siblings.

Take Petunia and Lily for example:

No one loved Lily Evans more than Petunia the day she was born. And no one was more indifferent than Petunia Dursely the day Lily Potter died. You see, the four-year-old Petunia was extremely excited to have a small sister. Up till now Petunia never had any friend. The kids that came to play in the park were all dirty. One day while making sandcastle a boy dropped fistful of sand in her hair. From that day she never talked with anyone in the park. But she knew Lily would be different because of course Lily being her sister would be like her. She would never pour sand in her hair. They would play together, share their dolls, braid each other's hair.

But soon all her expectations were broken because Lily became friends with the kids of the park. All those poor, dirty, disgusting children. And she had nerve to involve Petunia in it, "Tuney join us. It is more fun." And then Petunia would scowl and run back home. If that was not enough Lily would try to scare off her school friends by her freakish ways. "Look Tuney! I turned this flower yellow." "Tuney see this paper butterfly can fly."

Things really turned downhill when Lily met Severus Snape. He had all these outlandish stories of magic and castles. Somewhere deep-down Petunia also knew there was some truth in those stories. She had seen Lily doing things (doing magic), it can't be all false. And when they were officially told that Lily was indeed a witch, she had felt a cold resentment towards her. Here she had to live in this dirty, war affected city while Lily gets to live in a castle, just like fairy tales. Why they both can't be witch? Not that she wanted to be a freak like her sister.

As time moved on Lily became her parent's favorite child. They were always gushing on how Lily was making them so proud, how they always knew she was a special child. Not only resentment but with years jealousy also grew. And she could not pinpoint the exact moment but one day she realized she hated Lily. And hating her didn't feel that terrible.

It wasn't so simple. Some days Petunia would forget everything and crack up the lame jokes of Lily. Sometimes Lily would do something so much mature, and Petunia would feel a warm feeling of how much she has grown. But mere mention of magic or her school life would tear open the wound as new and just like that she would be back at hating Lily.

If that wasn't enough. The thin rope in which their relationship was dangling was soon broken in the summer of Lily's sixth year.

"Have you stolen my black coat?"

Through bleary eyes Lily saw Petunia standing near the door wearing a red dress, looking really good. But her sleepy mind hasn't registered the question.

"Um... what?"

"I don't have time for your thick head. Black coat. Have. You. Taken. It?"

"I don't touch your clothes you know that." But Petunia has already left room. What a way to wake up. Against every instinct that was telling her not she went to Petunia's room to search for her bloody coat.

Her door was wide open. She didn't even register when Lily came to her room. Lily saw the black coat on the bed. She had found it herself. Great now she can go back to sleep. But again, against all her instincts -

"You're looking very pretty. Where are you going?"

Petunia looked at Lily in the reflection of mirror maybe a bit surprised to find her here. Lily thought from her expression she won't get an answer when Petunia said, " I don't know. Maybe a restaurant. I only know Vernon is going to pick me at eleven"

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