falling in love with a gang leader

chapter 65 (colby's pov)

elton: "one word..." he said quietly, "wow." he breathed out, his lips forming a perfect circle as his eyes scanned all of the broken glass scattered all over the kitchen floor.
sam: "he ran into brennen," he sighed, "... and emma... they were together." he continued after a beat, climax and disappointment in his voice.
elton: "emma? like, goofy, mean, practically is my daughter, emma?" he asked sharply, his voice at attention.
colby: "yep, that's the one." i point at him lazily, feeling my heart break and splinter at the sound of her name.
elton: "well, what happened? where is she? is she here?" he sounded excited and peppy, but after he hears what happened... he may not be as peppy and curly like he's acting right now.
sam: "colby was on his way to give brennen the death wish he had practically asked for and he ran into emma... leaving him in complete shock and it obviously sparked an argument between the two of them. long story short, emma loves brennen and she still has no idea what brennen has done... and i don't think she's going to be very happy when she finds out." he said sadly, his tone soft but aggressive. i think he's hurting just as bad as i am. in all fairness, emma is a sister to him. sam has always treated her like she had been blood related to him and even after this, sam can't change that. they will still remain best friends and her and i will be whatever the hell we turn out to be. i will gladly, in a heartbeat, take her back... if she even wants me like that anymore. like i said, brennen has full control of her now. she wants nothing to do with me anymore.
elton: "i'm so sorry, son. i really truly am. i don't think she knows what she wants right now, though. which leads me to ask," he pondered, "why did she run off to him in the first place? i mean, she had to
have had a motive, right?"
colby: "that's what we don't know yet. we don't have any cell phone clues or anything. believe me, if i could find something out right now, i would in a heartbeat. i want everything back to normal just as bad as you guys do. if only we had a lead to go off of. anything would help."
"i can help." a small female voice spoke from the corridor by the kitchen, a blue-haired katrina now entering the scene.
sam: "what? how?" he asked, confused by her break into the conversation. yeah, how?
she sighed deeply, clearly hiding something, "i've been in contact with emma. all this time you guys were searching and had no idea where she was..." she paused, her voice shaky, "i knew. i've talked to her over the past months she was gone, but only on her terms because she couldn't get caught in contact with any of us... i knew." she said quietly, playing with her nails nervously.
colby: "and this entire time that i've been interrogating you, feeling like an asshole because i thought i was just going crazy... you knew. had us all going crazy over finding her and you simply could've just told us!" my voice rose louder and louder, sam eyeing me intently.
katrina: "i didn't have a choice, colby! if i told any of you, we would've all been dead! if brennen found out that even i knew, i would've been long gone and i wouldn't be here telling you this! emma took a huge risk to let me know that she was okay and she was! and still is!" she shouted back, her face turning red.
colby: "let me ask you this! why didn't she call me, huh? it just had to be you!" i replied after a beat, standing on my own two feet as sam mirrors me, the two of us cautious of the glass shards all over the floor.
katrina: "because the entirety of this situation revolves around saving your ass! you were the one in danger and brennen gave her an option! she chose for you not to die, meaning that she moved in with brennen! she did this for you!" my heart dropped at her words, only causing more anger to rise out of me.
colby: "did it for me", my ass! if she still knew that this entire thing started with me, then she wouldn't have said she loved him, katrina! at first she did it for me, maybe, but now, it's all about her and brennen!"
katrina: "don't be ridiculous, colby! she may love him, but she's still in love with you! it's always going to be you, whether you like it or not! she only moved on because she thought you had long forgotten about her! so, yes, she let her feelings for brennen cloud her judgment, but so what? you let emily cloud yours!" she shouts, her eyes dwelling with tears. my mind is too angry and too cloudy to feel any kind of emotion except for anger in this very moment. as much as i'd like to sob and sob at her choice of words about emma still being in love with me, i can't. my body physically won't allow me to cry right now.
katrina: "she doesn't see it now, but she doesn't love brennen. like i said, her mind is just too full of emotions that are trying to push you out of the picture because she thinks you hate her for leaving. they may have slept together, yes, but that doesn't mean she loves him and she needs to realize that..." she paused, leaving words hanging in the air, "...oh my god... you weren't supposed to know that part." she looked up at with wide eyes, her face fallen in anxiousness. my stomach felt as if it just tumbled down six flight of stairs and left me standing in one place.
colby: "she... slept with him?" i asked quietly, my voice suddenly small and sad. if i couldn't cry before, i definitely could now. she sighed deeply and shook her head, not wanting to say whatever it was she had to say. please, katrina, spit it out!
katrina: "yes... quite a few times... but that's not important. what's important is-"
sam: "katrina, i think it's time we go. i'll spend the night with you at your place tonight, but i think it's time to leave." he cut in, ushering her with his hand on the small of her back, eyeing me with caution and worry. sam whispered something to elton before they both walked to the door, leaving me alone by myself with nothing but my emotions. i glance around at the floor at the sight of all of the broken glass once more, reminding me of how sad i am rather than angry. feeling my heart splinter and freeze, i lean over on the kitchen counter... feeling myself start to break down and lose myself completely. i just couldn't help it anymore. she slept with him. meaning brennen saw and acted on the things only i was supposed see. he touched her, kissed her, felt her, made her feel the high that i was supposed to give her when i saw her again... no! no! no! no! why! that was supposed to be me! that should be me kissing her and feeling her! not brennen! it never should've been him in the first place! this is all my fault! katrina said it herself! she walked out of this house four months ago to save me!  because i brought her into all of this!
elton: "son, it's okay." he said calmly, approaching me cautiously, placing his hand lightly on my shoulder. i look up at him, my face fallen with tears and guilt.
colby: "this is all my fault!" i sobbed, leaning into elton when he suddenly brought me into him.
elton: "don't blame yourself, colby. no one saw this coming, you have no reason to be upset with yourself."
colby: "no reason to be upset? elton," i cried in protest, pulling away from him, "brennen is doing things to her that i am supposed to be doing! that i used to do! he's feeling her, loving her, caring for her, kissing her in places only i should be able to see and you're telling me that i shouldn't be upset? brennen wanted to kill me so he took emma instead! because emma gives more than two shits about me and wouldn't take the chance of me dying! and because of me dragging her into this, she is with another man, elton! another man! how do you not see the problem!" i shout, pissed at myself. as tears freely fly down my face, elton gazed at me in sadness, his face blank with an emotion that was mixed with sadness, fear, anxiety, and disbelief. elton surprised me by walking over to the medicine cabinet, grabbing a pill from an unfamiliar prescription bottle. what is he doing?
elton: "take this with some water and go up to your room. get changed and lay in bed, this will knock you out cold in less than three minutes. it's a heavy prescription, but you can handle it. you'll fall asleep now and wake up around noon tomorrow. just take this and go to sleep, you need to calm your body down before you start hyperventilating and that's the last thing we need tonight. i'll clean all of this up but please, just go to bed. we will talk tomorrow." he said calmly and sincerely, handing me the pill with a glass of tap water. i said nothing and took the pill, wanting to be done for the night. i can't take anymore of this overwhelmingness. it's too much. and so i swallowed the small pill in one gulp, walking my sappy ass up the stairs and into my bedroom, my posture weak, my shoulders slouched, and my back hunched. i rip my shirt off and take off my jeans, leaving me in my boxers, and slip under the sheets on my mattress, allowing the pill to take its course and take me out. my phone buzzed next to me with emily's name lighting up the screen, but i seriously can not handle her right now. she's too clingy and all she's going to ask me is what happened tonight. don't really want to talk about it anymore. laying in the dark room with no one but my thoughts, my eyes grew heavier and heavier, my brain effectively shutting down. and just like that, i was gone... wishing that i wouldn't come back, but i will. i can't give up just yet.