falling in love with a gang leader

chapter 80

emma: "katrina, i've been throwing up for three weeks with zero reason as to why. don't you think i would've been feeling better by now if i knew what was going on?" i rolled my eyes, hurled over the toilet as if i was hungover.
katrina: "oh, don't you get attitude with me. i'm just trying to figure out what's going on," she pauses, her tone sharp, "what all have you eaten since this all started?" she kneeled down next to me and held my hair, allowing me to drop my arms at my side. i shake my head and was about to speak, rudely being cut off by the nasty, yellow, acidic substance that came up out of my orifices and into the latrine, a weird gagging sound that i make by accident, following grossly after the fact. katrina grabs a hair tie from around her wrist and sloppily throws my hair up in a disgustingly messy low bun, patting my back softly once she finished.
emma: "god, kill me now," i groaned, flushing the latrine and resting my forehead on my forearm that's rested on the seat of the toilet, "it's 10 o'clock in the fucking morning, katrina. what is going on!" i whine, feeling my stomach whirl and growl in annoyance.
katrina: "i swear if a baby pops out of you in 8 months..." she laughs, shaking her head jokingly. my eyes widened and i looked up at her, watching her smile fade ever so slowly into something so shocked and horrified... "what? emma, what? why are you looking at me like that?" she asks worriedly. i shake my head a take a deep breath, thinking back to almost a month ago.
emma: "the last time colby and i had sex, we didn't use protection. ever since then, i've had really bad migraines and my eating has been on and off on top of throwing every single morning when i wake up. everything i see or smell... it makes me nauseous..." i explained, putting two and two together, "katrina, please tell me i'm crazy. this is making too much sense." i said in fear, shaking my head denial. pure shock on her face, she stands up and digs through the bathroom cabinet, pulling out a brand new pregnancy test from the drugstore.
katrina: "i don't know if i want to believe it either, but it all makes too much sense. we have to see." she holds it out to me, my hand shakily grabbing it from her own shaky hand. i stand to my feet and feel the non-comforting feeling of my ears ringing, feeling my blood pressure skyrocket. i sit down on the toilet i was just previously throwing up in and urinate in a little plastic cup, sticking the actual test in the cup once i was done.
emma: "katrina, no... if the test is going to say what i think it is, what am i going to do? neither colby or i are in a good place for a baby! what am i going to do?" i said in fear, my stomach growling in both nervousness and pain.
katrina: "whatever happens, happens. you know i'll be here for you the entire way. okay? everything will be fine, i promise." she says calmly, still just as shocked as she was when she put two and two together like i did. minutes of fear and anxiety pass... each minute out of the three dragging out longer and longer. i look up at katrina and hold my head, her nodding at me to check the life-changing stick in my cup of urine on the bathroom counter. i take a deep, shaky breath and feel tears prick my eyes, as scared as i'll ever be to look at a fucking stick. i close my eyes and hold the test in my hands, opening my eyes after a few moments to finally see the results.
emma: "oh my god." i said shakily, my heart plunging as the two vertical lines pop out at my attention. my body felt as if i was motionless underwater and i didn't know how to respond. i was happy, i was scared, i was unprepared...
katrina: "what? is it what i think it is?" she asks impatiently, her eyes wider than ever. i look up at her as a tear falls down my cheek, holding the test out to her for her to take a look for herself.
katrina: "oh, holy fuck." she said, breathless. more tears escape and i begin to sob, an uneasy feeling in my stomach that i can't shake. katrina drops the test and lunges towards me and kneels in front of me, wrapping her arms around me ever-so tightly. i sob and sob into her shoulder, clinging tightly to the back of her hoodie that i grip so harshly. no, no, no...
emma: "this can't be happening, katrina! i can't have a baby right now!" i cry, my words scrambled and unclear.
katrina: "shh, shh. relax, em. it's all going to work out, okay? we'll get through this. i promise... i'm with you through anything and everything." she says calmly, patting my hair down my back and smoothing it out. causing me to jump out of my skin, there was a knock sounding at the bathroom door followed by a deep voice, who is the love of my life, asking in concern if we were okay. i pull away from katrina and my eyes widen, not wanting to speak and not knowing how.
katrina: "we're good, just leave us be for a few!" she shouts, wiping my face clear of tears in which didn't help at all.
colby: "emma, baby, open the door... why are you crying? is everything okay?" he asks in sudden concern, shaking the door knob a ridiculous amount of times in hopes of opening it when it wouldn't budge. it's locked...
katrina: "you want me to open the door?" she whispers to me, eyeing me warily. i shake my head no and play with my fingers nervously, sniffing and wiping my eyes an excessive amount of times.
emma: "just give me a second." i say, my voice shaking in response to the amount of worry in his tone. suddenly, the door knob stopped wiggling and a deep sigh followed, a small tap of his rings on the door before there was no sound coming from the other side. katrina and i waited it out for a few moments until we decided to leave the bathroom, hiding the positively scary pregnancy test in the cabinet where no one except katrina and i would find it. cleaning up the bathroom and walking out into my bedroom that's connected to my bathroom, colby was laying flat on my bed on his back, his black and white striped button-up shirt pulled up just enough that his waist line was visible and his LV belt was taking spotlight. he quickly jerks up and stands to his feet, his tall figure looking down on me in concern.
colby: "baby, what's wrong?" he holds my cheek in his hand when katrina walks out of the room and closes the door; i take the opportunity to press my cheek further into his hand and hold his wrist with one of my hands.
emma: "nothing, i'm okay..." i smile weakly, quickly thinking of an excuse, "just worried about what brennen is planning against you." i sniffed, feeling the urge to throw up again. ahh, shit. not this again.
colby: "i actually have news about brennen..." he says, pulling me over to the bed with him, "him and i made a truce today." he says matter-of-factly. i look at him in pure confusion and struggle to understand what exactly he means. a truce? like... all of this fear and anxiety over brennen would be over?
colby: "it involved a lot of money and a lot of negotiating, but we got it all figured out. there will no longer be any kind of feud between him and i. you are no longer to be bothered by him and you are no longer forced to partake in any of his games like he says. he agreed to stop being manipulative towards you and agreed to cut off all contact with you, me, sam, and the others." he says, holding my hand comfortingly. am i hearing this right?
emma: "oh, my god, that's amazing!" i said excitedly, hugging him tightly. my smile fades when his arms come around me and his neck rests in the pit of my shoulder, the feeling of comfort surrounding me. he is my home. he is my shelter. nothing can change that... unless, of course, he doesn't approve of our baby and shit hits the fan and goes south. i pray to god that doesn't happen...
colby: "it's really amazing... we don't have to worry about one another getting hurt or caught in his crossfire anymore. i have you, you have me and that's all. it's you and me... always and forever." he says sincerely, pulling away from me and cradling my face in his hands. we also have a child...
emma: "no matter what happens?" i ask, feeling slightly better about what i haven't told him. a weak smile approaches his lips, agreeing with me without him saying a word.
colby: "no matter what happens." he says promisingly, an urge to throw up hitting me like a bus. i jumped to my feet and raced to the bathroom, falling to my knees in front of the latrine. i push the stray locks of hair behind my ear and begin to hurl, my stomach cramping and my back tightening up. hearing colby's worried footsteps, he drops down next to me and holds my loose hair back, rubbing my back with the other hand.
colby: "hey, you okay?" he asks once i flush my fluids down the latrine, concern etched on his face.
emma: "mhm, just a little sick today. that's all." i say reassuringly, feeling like absolute shit. what do i tell him? i can't tell him just yet.
colby: "when you get done, lay in bed and get some rest. i'll start a movie and get the bed ready for you." he says, rubbing my back and my shoulders once more.
emma: "thank you," i smiled, "are you leaving?" i ask, not wanting him to leave at this point in time.
colby: "i don't want to because i want to be here for you, but the big dog just called and said we had a last minute pursuit. sam and them are already on their way, i just wanted to stop by really quickly; and i'm glad i did." he says, worry in his tone about me embarrassingly throwing up everywhere.