falling in love with a gang leader

chapter 34

i nodded, half listening to what he just told me. too many thoughts running through my mind. corey's dead? because he was after me? why me? what did i ever do to him? and devyn's gone, too? this is all like a huge dream. this damn bullet wound on my side, corey's passing, mike's passing, and devyn's passing? this all seems too unreal.
colby: "are you okay? you seem worried." he asked, regarding me intently. of course i'm worried. i lost my best friend and corey's minions are out to kill you and possibly me. what else could i possibly be worried about?
emma: "i'm great." i squeaked, trying desperately to sound unbothered. needless to say, i failed. he tilted his head to the side, examining my facial expressions.
colby: "what's wrong, emma? i know when you're lying..." he leaned closer to me.
emma: "nothing's wrong, baby. i'm good."
colby: "i'm always here for you, you know that." he ignored my response.
emma: "not if corey's minions come and kill you." i mumbled, watching as colby looked at me as if i did something wrong. i can't tell if he's mad or... concerned?
colby: "emma rede." his voice stern and full of warning. wait, is he mad? why my full name?
emma: "colby brock." i mocked him, hoping that he was just messing around. i was wrong. he glared at me, anger in his eyes. holy shit.
colby: "i hate when you do this, emma," he paused, regarding me, "please just talk to me!" his voice rose higher as he continued. oh, what the fuck?
emma: "when i do what?" my voice almost a whisper. i was confused. i wanted to be sassy and say some shit back, but i refrained.
colby: "you keep things inside of you when you need to talk about things!" he shouted. i don't like this side of him. i don't like that i was the one that caused this side of him to come out. in this very moment, i was ungrateful that sam and the others had left the room. i needed someone to calm colby down and i'm stuck in this fucking hospital bed.
emma: "i'm sorry, i just-" he cut me short of my sentence.
colby: "you should be sorry! i try to help you but you don't work with me!" his face was red and his eyes were watery. where is this coming from? why is he acting like this all of a sudden? is it because of corey? or is it because of what i said...?
emma: "you're just as bad as katrina." i mumbled.
colby: "and the fucking attitude! you act like you're thirteen years old! speak up to people!"
ouch... that one hurt. tears stung my eyes while i felt sadness overcome my body completely. the person i love and would literally die for is screaming at me because he's upset. that's the last thing i needed.
emma: "get out, please." i said sadly as tears started rolling down my cheeks. i quickly wiped them and looked up at colby, hoping to see him walk closer to me even though i told him to get out... but i was wrong. he sauntered out of the room and sam walked in immediately after. was he listening?
sam: "come here, emma." he said, enveloping me in his warm embrace.
emma: "i'm so sick of this, sam!" i sobbed, "first katrina and now colby? i have done nothing wrong!" i continued, enjoying the comfort that sam was assisting me with. why does everything happen to me? am i the reason? did i do something wrong?
sam: "you haven't done anything, emma. don't worry. katrina, i can't explain, but colby... i think it's because of corey." he said, pulling away from me and sitting in front of me. he had to have been listening to colby and i... he had to have been.
emma: "you were listening, weren't you." i sniffed, wiping my eyes.
sam: "i was," he paused, "and so were kevin and elton..." great.
emma: "where are they?"
sam: "talking to colby about his attitude," he rolled his eyes, "he can be an asshole at times like this." times like this?
emma: "why didn't he act like this when mike passed?"
sam: "him and mike weren't as close as him and corey were. corey was his best friend, besides me. mike was just another buddy of his." he sighed.
emma: "do you think he'll still be mad at me even though i had nothing to do with it?" i asked, my voice trembling.
sam: "don't worry, emma. everything will work out, i promise." he smiled reassuringly. then where is he?just then, kevin and elton sauntered back into the room, angry.
elton: "emma, if you and colby weren't dating, i would've punched him." he spoke through gritted teeth.
sam: "was it that bad?" he asked, sounding like he didn't really want to know the answer.
kevin: "yeah, it was. he said he's done with everything and everyone and drove back home."
emma: "he can't drive if he's that angry..." my eyes widened.
elton: "we tried to tell him that, but when we did, he pushed kevin and i onto the ground and drove off." he said, dusting his hands off and sitting next to kevin who was on the couch.
emma: "well, what do we-" i was cut short by the very nice female nurse walking into the room.
nurse: "hello, emma." she smiled sweetly.
i murmured my hello and sam moved off of the bed and over by kevin and elton.
nurse: "your vitals are looking great, but have you gotten any sleep?" she mused, looking away from the monitor and to me.
emma: "actually, now that i think about, not really. i've had a couple of short naps but not a full on sleep." why am i so awake?
nurse: "so, if i send you home, since your vitals are back up to there they should be, will you get some rest?" oh, fuck yes!
emma: "yes, i will." i smiled happily, relieved.
nurse: "great," she smiled, "do you have anyone to help you get dressed?" she glanced around the room at sam, kevin, and elton.
emma: "i don't..." i said shyly, my face turning pink. this is awkward.
nurse: "okay. can everyone please go wait in the lobby? ms. rede will meet you down there." everyone shuffled out of the room at their own pace and the nurse was soon helping me get my clothes on. i could've done it myself, but i was surely going to fall over if i tried. this was when i wished that katrina or colby were here.
nurse: "okay, you're good to go. just sign these papers and you're free." she giggled, handing me a pen and a paper with fine print on it. i didn't worry about reading it. i just signed it and carefully walked out and down to the lobby. when i arrived, sam was willingly at my side helping me walk.
kevin: "colby took the car... we're going to have to call an uber."
emma: "elton, my phone is in my pocket. can you order one?" he nodded and unlocked my phone, ordering an uber. we waited for what felt like ever, but a black ford explorer pulled up to us after a little while. we all piled in and i assume that we were on our way to the bunker, but i wasn't exactly sure. i drifted off to sleep for the car ride, realizing that i really hadn't gotten much sleep while i was in the hospital. i was woken up to sam gently shaking me awake.
sam: "emma, we're here, dude. wake up." i opened my eyes and saw kevin and elton waiting for me outside the car. i stumbled out of the car and sam assisted me in walking into the bunker. as i walked, i saw colby's red car parked along the woods line. my stomach started to turn on itself out of nervousness. it's colby, for christ's sake, why am i so nervous? we got inside and i glanced over at elton expectantly.
elton: "i think he's upstairs."
i nodded, earning a cautioning look from kevin and sam as i started towards the stairs, and i gripped the railing once i stepped on the first stair. i surprisingly walked up the stairs with ease, and when i reached the top, i spotted colby's room. i took a deep breath and walked into his room, not expecting what i had walked in on. there he was... in the corner of his room, chugging a bottle of jack with an empty bottle of the same liquor next to him. what? i stumbled over to him and snatched the bottle out of his hands.
colby: "what the fuck!" he exclaimed angrily. woah, he is... angry.
emma: "what are you doing?" my voice drenched in disappointment.
colby: "drinking. now leave me alone." he yanked the whiskey out of my hand and brought it to his lips.
emma: "talk to me." i whispered, trying to reason with this person that he's become. who is this person?
colby: "no. i don't need you to fix my problems." he spoke angrily as he took another drink. ouch... i feel like i just got punched in the stomach.
emma: "you don't mean that... you're drunk."
colby: "get out of my room!" he screamed, tears streaming down his face. i wanted to give him a hug, but i had to resist. i was scared of him at this very moment. i said nothing and walked out of his room. i walked downstairs and sat on the couch with everyone else. they all stared at me, waiting for me to say something.
sam: "what did he say?"
emma: "nothing that an asshole wouldn't say." i played with my rings.
elton: "was he mean to you?" he asked, clenching his jaw.
emma: "no. everything's fine." i quipped.
sam: "i'll drive you home." he said as he got up. i stood up quickly and walked out through the front door, forgetting that my ex-best friend lives where i'm headed. we drove in complete silence and as soon as we parked outside my apartment, i broke down in tears. i got out of the car and ran up to my apartment. i knocked on the door frantically and katrina opened the door. i don't think i've ever seen her so scared to see my facial expression.
kat: "emma?" she said shakily.
emma: "just let me go to my room, please." i sobbed. she ignored me and brought me into a tight hug while i sobbed into her shoulder. i was confused because she's mad at me, but i didn't care. she was the only other person that was there for me and all i wanted was my best friend.
kat: "it's going to be okay." she said calmly while rubbing my back. i pulled away from her and wiped my face. i looked at her and she grabbed my hand. i held her hand back and she looked at me warily, before leading me to the couch where she sat next to me.
kat: "what did he say?" oh, she already knows who i'm crying about...
emma: "he got drunk and said he didn't need me to fix his problems. we got into an argument at the hospital before i was released and then another one when i got back to the bunker."
kat: "what can i do to help?" she frowned, genuinely caring.
emma: "nothing, really. but are we okay? i need my best friend back." i pleaded. sam then came and sat next to katrina, but stayed silent.
kat: "of course, babe. we're okay." she smiled, hugging me. and so for the rest of the night, katrina and i watched movies and ate chocolate, laughing and having a good time, a girls night, if you would, since sam left, until it got serious...
kat: "emma, i am so severely sorry for
earlier. i was just stressed about my job and i shouldn't have taken it out on you. i know sorry doesn't cut it because i said some very hurtful things about colby..." she paused, "but i take it all back. all of it. i understand that you took that bullet for colby and that it wasn't his fault. and emma," she paused once again, "you are not a changed person. i was just saying that so i could put something against you because i didn't really have an accurate reason to be upset. you are not a different person. you are still the emma rede that i love and would die for." she gripped my hand tightly. she really sounds genuinely sorry and my heart is happy and can't take it.
emma: "i forgive you, katrina. and yes, you said some things, but it's okay. i forgive you. but," i took a deep breath, "i'm so tired of arguing. i don't want to lose you, katrina... you're my sister." i said quietly. she lunged at me and hugged me tight and apologetically.
kat: "you won't lose me, babe. i got you and you got me." she said reassuringly. i smiled and she pulled away, sitting in front of me. we started to ignore the movie playing in the background and we talked and talked about all different kinds of things. my wound, i filled her in on corey's and devyn's passing, what colby said and acted like earlier today, everything. we then alternated to her and we talked about what's been going on with her work for a little while, but i still couldn't stop thinking about colby. will he be the same tomorrow? or will he sober up by the end of the night...? i guess only time will tell.