falling in love with a gang leader

chapter 41 (colby's pov)

i am so fucking happy right now. i got my girlfriend back. my best friend, the love of my life... she's back in my arms... right where she belongs. being downstairs with her in the gym and actually talking with her was the best. i'm glad she told me how she really felt because i was beginning to wonder if she was going to give up on me. all the shit i put her through in the last couple days... i didn't know if she was willing to put up with me and my... issues. my room still reeks of alcohol, but i'm not drinking it. dr. durelle had called me earlier and checked in on me... a few minutes before emma walked in on me. that was probably one of the most embarrassing things to ever happen to me. she laughed it off and hasn't mentioned it since, but it's still awkward in the back of my mind. anyways, dr. durelle had said that since i'm doing so well, i don't have to go back. i hated that place, anyways. it was full of actual crackheads and blacked out bodies that were lying limp on the floor piled on top of each other. i had honestly thought that the place was run by a drug dealer at first. that's how run down and dim it was in the lobby. not a great first impression, but i was just so desperate that i felt like i didn't have a choice to be picky. i wanted help wherever i could get it. the room that dr. durelle saw me in, however, was really homey and cozy. the pillows, the lamp, the couch, it was all so... comforting. i was snapped out of my thoughts when emma nuzzled her head further into my neck, laying her hand on my chest that was just about done air drying from her tears. she let out a soft sigh and i moved her hair off of her forehead before i kissed the top of her head. damn, i missed her. she looked up at me and smiled at me, causing my subconscious to scream like a fan girl at her favorite performer's concert.
colby: "that goddamn smile." i mumbled happily, pushing one of emma's stray hairs behind her ear.
emma: "why do you always say that?" she giggled. how could a giggle be so attractive?
colby: "because your smile is beautiful and i enjoy knowing that i'm the one who brings that gorgeous smile to your very attractive face." i kissed her cheek, letting my lips linger for a moment before looking back down at her. she blushed and i don't think i've ever seen someone as cute as her when she blushes. no one can compare to her. and i mean no one. as i stared down at her, my smile faded when i was reminded of the dark past from only a couple of days ago. emma's face wrinkled in worry as i watch her smile fade from her face, as well.
emma: "what? what's wrong?" she asked cautiously. i sighed and pushed another strand of stray hair behind her ear. tell her how you feel, colby.
i took a deep breath, preparing myself, "during the past couple of days, i thought that you were going to..." i paused, watching her expression change as she adjusted her self to where she was now in front of me.
emma: "you thought i was going to what?" she was more confused than anything now. tell her, you pussy! i took another deep breath, worried of her answer in response to what i'm about to tell her.
colby: "i thought that you were going to... give up on me..." i said slowly and cautiously, eyeing her warily. her face dropped and i swear the sadness in her eyes was strong enough to start a wildfire.
emma: "bubba, no." she whined and leaned forwards towards me. i opened my arms and allowed her to sit on my lap while her arms wrapped around my neck as tight as she possibly could've which wasn't tight at all. she clenched the back of my shirt into both of her fists and nuzzled her face into my neck. i hugged her back tight and sighed before kissing the side of her neck. we stay like that for a few moments before she leaned back so she should see my face. she lays one of her small, cold hands on the back of neck in comfort and i rest my hands loosely on her waist.
emma: "you may have treated me like absolute shit," she paused, her voice cracking, "but i would never give up on you. not once did that thought ever cross my mind." she spoke softly. i could hear every tear in her voice. my heart swelled in response to her and it felt as if the stress on my shoulder was lifted up to heaven. i pulled her into me and hugged her tight, pouring every possible emotion into one hug. i truly don't deserve her. everything i could ever want and need comes from one person, which is my sweet emma, and from what i've caused to her innocent heart in the past couple of days... i feel as if i don't deserve to be hugging her, to be smelling her, to even be touching her... i don't deserve it. i don't deserve her.
emma: "even though you didn't like me for a few days, i was not going to let you go through that alone. i know how it feels to be alone during a time like that and i wouldn't want you to degrade yourself," she paused, leaning back to face me while tears filled her eyes heavily, "it may not have seemed like much, but i really did try to help. it hurt like hell and i was close to giving up on myself, but i didn't... for you." a tear slipped from her eye. i felt my chest and heart ache at the sound of her voice, feeling like someone reached in and gripped my heart tightly in pain and didn't let go. i brought my hand up to her face and wiped the tears that dripped from her eyes like a broken faucet.
colby: "you've done more than enough, baby girl. so much that i shouldn't even have the privilege to be talking to you right now," i paused, seeing her smile weakly, "but i am talking to you right now... even after i treated you like straight dog shit. never again will you ever be put in that position by me... and that's a promise that i swear will not be broken." i felt my own tears fall as i watched her lip quiver. i lean forward and kiss her cheek before letting my lips travel up to her now closed, wet eyes. i kissed all over each of her eyes and cheeks as she smiled weakly, allowing me to kiss away her sadness as much as i possibly could. i leaned back to see her open her eyes and i moved my head to her lips, kissing her ever so gently with so much passion. it was a short, sweet kiss... but there was so much emotion behind it.
emma: " i swore to myself that i would never be this soft and this open to and for someone... but you," she paused, both of us chuckling quietly, "... you are just so much different than everyone else. and i would say something corny like, "i would take a bullet for you", but i think i've proved that to you already." she giggled, causing both of us to smile. even in the darkest situations, she always finds a way to make it brighter... always.
colby: "if anything, i should be the one to prove that to you." she smiled, wiping her wet, rosy cheeks. i wiped my own as well and was confused when she widened her eyes in realization.
emma: "oh, i need to run to target. can i borrow your car?" way to switch the topic, princess. i chuckled at the sudden change in conversation and nodded.
colby: "i'll come with you, if you don't mind."
she shrugged and we both stood to our feet beodre walking downstairs and to my car. i looked at the time on the way down and saw that it was eleven o'clock at night. is target even open?
emma: "can i drive?"
colby: "no, ma'am, that's my car." i teased.
emma: "please, i like your car." she stuck out her bottom lip and pouted. goddamnit, emma. i always give in to her when she pouts and she knows that.
colby: "fine, go ahead. you can drive." i shook my head slightly, grinning from ear to ear. she smiled and got in the driver's seat as i sat down in the passenger. she put my car in drive and drove with one hand while holding my hand with the other. it wasn't even five minutes later that we were already parked outside of the well-lit target. i guess it is open. her and i jumped out of the car and walked into target with our fingers laced with one another's. i followed in emma's footsteps as to where she was going, giving everyone who looked emma up and down a glare. as we walked, i held emma close to my hip. she smiled and allowed me to hold her as we walked through target, but i relaxed once i realized that there was no reason for me to be jealous of the guys looking at her because she was with me and she showed that she only wanted to be with me. emma moved out of my grip and walked closer to the febreze bottles once we entered the aisle. febreze?
emma: "do you prefer the ocean or lavender?" she held up two bottles in each of her hands. i chuckled at the two options.
colby: "i don't get any other options?" i laughed, pointing to the other scents in the aisle.
emma: "i sleep in the same room as you. pick one." she demanded, a small smile playing on her lips. i smirked and walked closer to her.
colby: "you better watch that attitude, princess." i resisted the very strong urge to wrap my hand around her throat, but only because we were in public and i didn't know who was lurking. if we were at home right now, we wouldn't be standing... if you know what i mean. instead of choking her and showing everyone who was probably starting to stare that she was mine, i allowed my hands to gracefully travel down to her behind, gripping it roughly, but discreetly, through those short black shorts that she wears. she knows what she does to me when she wears them... in fact, she's lucky i don't tell her that she shouldn't wear them. but after the past couple of days, i don't think i have the right to say that kind of stuff to her, only because i feel as if i have to climb back up to her before i reach that level again. she bit her lip and her cheeks turned pink, opening and closing her eyes slowly.
emma: "i'm enjoying this and all, but we're in the middle of target and we're lucky that no one has seen us yet. let's go." she put her hands on my chest and pushed me away gently, smirking. i smirked in response and followed behind her as she grabbed the lavender bottle of spray freshener that i didn't even get to choose. when we had gotten back to the bunker, emma and i headed inside and upstairs to the bedroom, acknowledging the fact that no one was home yet. emma had stepped foot first in front of me, swaying her hips on purpose, and as soon as we entered my room, she bent down claiming that she "dropped the target bag". her behind rubbed directly against my manhood as i came to a jolt behind her. i grabbed her waist to keep her from falling from my force and she leaned back up, her hair falling around her face and onto her shoulders. she looked back at me, smirking sneakily, and i closed the door and locked it. when i turned back around to her, she was was spraying the febreze around the room. it smelt great, so i couldn't judge her scent's choice. she caught my eye and her face turned rosy. she knows what she's doing... and it's killing me.