Chapter 61

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(Quote by Ben Hur)

"It's an insane world but in it there is one sanity, the loyalty of old friends."
-
Kellins POV

It's been about a week since I've seen Vic. I wasn't sure if I wanted to ever again. I don't think I could. My anti-depressants were making it impossible for me to feel like I could let everything out appropriately...so I stopped taking them along with my mood stabilizers. I was tired of feeling like something was frozen in me. Like a lingering pain that had no resolution. I knew I'd be okay though, 'cause I had Derek to help keep me afloat.

We were currently behind an
abandoned building; it was one we had always hung out at. Being here made me realize how much I had missed him, hanging out with him. He was my kind of crackhead and I missed being my most crackhead self. Whenever I was around Vic I was a totally different person. Even as friends. You know how you act differently around different people? You have those friends you can be deep with, the ones you can be your complete self around, and then you have the ones you want to impress or maybe need to hide parts of yourself around. You love them all but different people bring out different personalities. Vic was always so in his head and he was pretty much an all around average Joe, save for the few odd things about him that I love.

Derek was the type of guy who wouldn't question me if I said I wanted to break into buildings and set some things on fire. He'd be the first to accompany me and suggest we break some shit while we're at it. I loved him for that. There was never a "Maybe we should be careful." Because we were always being careful. We both knew it and it didn't need to be said, just done and enjoyed. I had missed doing that with him, so that's what we were up to right now.

"You want PBR or Smirnoff?" Derek asked.

I threw random branches and trash into the small fire we had started, in hopes of getting it to burn bigger and brighter.

"Uhhh, PBR." I answered.

"Think fast." Derek spoke, tossing me the can. I turned around and caught it just in time.

"So...you and Fuentes really done?" He asked, walking over to me. He stood next to me, piling in more things as the fire free bigger and bigger. I watched it intensely, mesmerized. There was something about fire that made me feel like I could take on the world. It was like magic. It was achingly beautiful.

"I don't know." I sighed. I opened my beer and took a sip. "I love him, I just...I don't think he loves me as much as I need him to."

"Man...you remember that night you got really drunk at one of my parties and started rambling on and on about how much you liked him but you didn't think he'd ever go for it? Boy, how wrong you were." Derek laughed.

I smiled at the memory. I hadn't even been that drunk that night. I just wanted an excuse to talk about Vic without being afraid.

"Yea, well...maybe if I hadn't waited so long we'd have been together sooner and he'd never had gotten a chance to meet Max." I spoke, bitter.

I felt Dereks eyes on me and then his hand came down on my shoulder as he patted it gently.

"Don't go blaming yourself, dude. Things happen and sometimes they suck but it just means there's more room for it to get better. If you and Fuentes don't work out it's not the end of the world. Trust me." Derek said, softly.

I frowned, nodding my head. I chugged the rest of my beer down and tossed the can into the fire. I let my eyes wander around the room for a bit before they landed on a single beam up on the ceiling that stretched across the entire room. I smirked, feeling mischievous.

"What?" Derek smiled at me. He knew the look all too well. I walked to one end of the beam and jumped up, holding onto it with both my hands. Being tall has its perks. Derek grinned, setting his down and joining me as I shakily sung myself further down the beam. My arms weren't in the best shape but I was still going strong. I felt my hands begin to sweat as I got close to the fire. I finally stopped right above it, my legs dangling, close to being engulfed by the flames. I smiled at the adrenaline that coursed through my veins. I could never feel this deeply with my medication. This was everything I've been missing.

The thought that I could possibly fall into the fire right now and burn was exhilarating. My arms were starting to give out so I finally swung foreword and leapt over the fire, landing on the cold concrete. I laughed, sitting on the ground as I watched Derek now dangling over the fire.

"Say I won't fucking pull my dick out right now! Say I won't!" Derek screamed in between laughs. He had much more upper body strength than I did, so he was hardly struggling. I laughed with him.

"You fucking won't!" I grinned. Surely enough, he reached down with one hand and unzipped his pants, pulling out his dick, proceeding to piss all over the fire.

"Yeeeaa, I'm a fucking fire extinguisher! Firefighter who?!" He laughed.

"Never heard of them." I continued for him. He laughed and finally jumped off. He approached me and held his dick in his hands, swinging it around like a fucking helicopter.

"Put your fucking dick away, perv!" I laughed. He was dying, tears streaming down his face as he finally put it back in his pants.

"I'd be a nudist if I wouldn't get arrested for it. I swear I would, I'd never put my dick away again." Derek stated, confidently.

"Oh, I know you would. I think most I'd do is just keep my toes out." I thought out loud.

"What, like, barefoot?" He asked, sitting next to me.

"Yea, feeling the earth beneath me would be really nice."

"Yea, until you step on glass, or a fucking heroin needle." He laughed.

I bit the inside of my cheek, trying not to think about Vic. "Glass would suck. Should we start another fire?" I asked, changing the subject.

"I have a better idea. Let's go up to the roof. It's been a while." Derek suggested.

"Let's." I smiled. We both got up, bringing the drinks with us. We went around to the side of the building where the old, rusty ladder was. From there, the night was spent getting drunk and laughing our heads off at the stupid shit we'd do. It was a much needed night and I felt lucky to have a friend as great as him.

This, is what it felt like to breathe again. This is what it felt like to be free of the suffocating feeling that I had been feeling for months now.

A/N: wasn't sure how to end it but there you go! Some fun for a change lmaoo

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