(Old lovers in dressing rooms by Keaton Henson)
It wasn't very long for us
When you're young it isn't hard to trust
I told her I was seventeen
She said that's how she still remembers me
I haven't many words to say
I thought about you every day
And she seems disappointed
When I say that I'm not happy yet
And I ask her if she liked the show
She says she heard me on the radio
And only works a few blocks down the street
She leaves her coat on but she takes a seat
Was it really that worth writing about?
They say your record deal is over now
And did you love me like the way you wrote?
Well I'm afraid so, I'm afraid so
She tells me she is happy now
She really loves him and they have a house
I say I'm glad for her and should have known
I have one too now but I live alone
Is it really you behind that beard?
I say I think so and we count the years
We tell stories and we sort of laugh
And then she jokes she wants my autograph
And was it really how you sing it dear?
Oh I remember worse than blood and tears
And did you love me like the way you wrote?
Well I'm afraid so, I'm afraid so
She smiles and says she has to go
I'm left in silence all alone
'Til they come and say I've gotta leave
They say there's people that I have to meet
-
Vic's POV
"Jenna, it was perfect! Magical, even. I can't believe any of it actually happened- It's like a dream, you know? Oh gosh, it was everything I never thought I'd have!"
"Okay, stop gushing, princess. He's been ignoring you all week and you haven't shut up about him. He's an ass. If he can make out with you in private, he should be able to at least talk to you in public." Jenna spat. She was right. I didn't need that right now, though. I was just trying to revel in the fact that the camping trip actually happened and it meant something this time. It wasn't for nothing, no, he was feeling me too. It was special. To me.
Yea, he had been ignoring me but...I didn't let it hurt me; I couldn't bring myself to care. I'd invite him over today and I'm sure he'd come around. Everything would be fine. We wouldn't have to talk about what happened because we promised and he was still with Cassy and I was okay with that. I had to be. If not for him then for me.
It's not like he was gay anyway. He didn't say anything at the end of our trip. He never did. He just said it was fun and it helped him settle his thoughts. Which I assumed meant it was just that; fun. It was like a one time hookup a girl has in college with another girl and never turns back. I'm sure that's what it was and although it sucked, I couldn't help but be happy that he had given me the chance to experience that weekend anyway.
I knew myself, I knew that I was too happy for my own good and that soon it'd all go to shit again, but I was shoving that to the furthest part of my mind right now. I was tired of being sad and pining over Kellin all the time.
Once after school rolled around, I skipped going to GSA with Jenna and decided to catch up with Kellin who was walking alone.
I quietly approached him and tapped his shoulder.
"Hey."
He turned to look at me. His face went from pale to pink in two seconds.
"Oh, Vic, hi." Kellin spoke, he gave me a nervous smile.
"I know we haven't talked in like a week but you should come over." I smiled. I walked beside him, avoiding the feeling in my stomach that screamed at me to hold his hand.
"To do what?" Kellin asked suddenly.
"Um, I don't know. Just hang out, I guess." I shrugged. He was nervous and I found it funny. There was nothing to be nervous about anymore. We weren't even talking about the camping trip and he was a mess.
"Right, yea, okay." He nodded with a small smile playing at his lips as we walked to my house.
We went straight to my backyard; the weather was too nice to be inside.
"What do you want to do?" I asked, sitting down on the grass. He sat down in front of me and thought for a second before that familiar smirk rose to his face.
"Let's plant a tree!" He grinned.
Now I should be used to Kellin and his wild ideas by now but I never thought he'd come up with this.
"A tree?" I asked, unsure.
"Yes, a tree. Your backyard is literally just a boring pool of grass. I bet your mom would like it too."
I had to look at him to make sure he was really not fucking with me. He wiggled his eyebrows and tilted his head back.
"Shut up." I laughed.
"What?!" Kellin laughed back. "I'm not doing anything."
"Oh my god, let's just plant a fucking tree. Come on." I rolled my eyes.
"Oh fuck yea!" Kellin cheered. We both stood and started walking before we stopped abruptly.
"Yea, Home Depot's like ten miles away." Kellin spoke.
"Yup." I sighed. "Well what else do you want to bury besides seeds?"
"Vic, you're brilliant!"
I jumped back with wides eyes as he grabbed my shoulders and kissed me. He pulled away in a flash and his mouth hung open as he realized what he'd done.
"I-I didn't, I don't know-"
"It's okay." I smiled. "Really." My heart strings went warm and my brain stored the memory away for later. Don't over think it, Vic.
"Um...so I was thinking...maybe make a time capsule? We could write each other a letter and bury it along with some other things, and in ten years, we can come back and look at it." He smiled.
My ears lit right up at that. It was a really good idea. I nodded my head.
"Okay, I'll go get a box and a few things." I grinned.
"I'll run to my house real quick and I'll be right back." Kellin responded.
We spilt, each gathering some of our favorite things from inside our homes. We met back at my backyard not too long after that and stuffed everything into an old shoebox.
"Okay, so, letters. Where's the paper?" I asked.
"Here." Kellin handed me a sheet and a pen. He quickly began writing and I smiled at how eager he was. He was adorable. I looked down at my paper and started writing.
Kellin, I don't know what you're writing right now, but I can only hope it's good things that will make me smile someday. Right now though, I think it's time that I'm honest with you. As stupid as it sounds, I...am in love with you. Fuck, I really don't want you to read this.
I'm gay. I've known it for a long time now, almost as long as I've liked you. Years, really. The camping trip was...perfect. I keep thinking that maybe you wanted it for more than just experimenting, but that's not possible. You're not gay, and I don't mean anything to you. I'm only a friend and that's all ill ever be. It sucks right now but I know I'll be able to make peace with it someday. Maybe.
Anyway, I really hope we stay friends, I hope we're still together to open these things in ten years. And I hope you don't hate me for what I've admitted today. I love you. Always and forever.
Vic
-
A/N: sorry it's so boring, sophomore year in the next chapter! Very exciting cx
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Somewhere Only We Know (boyxboy) (kellic)
Fanfiction[Kellic] As Vic grows up with his childhood best friend, Kellin, he starts to feel things that aren't normal towards him, something more. And he tries with all his might not to let anyone know he's gay...or about his crush on his best friend. Bu...
