Somewhere Only We Know (boyxboy) (kellic)

Chapter 42

(A quote by Warren Buffett)

"Chains of habit are too light to be felt until they are too heavy to be broken."

-
Vic's POV

My hands were trembling as Kellin and I walked to school, hand in hand. There was about a million different ways today could go. I hated myself for focusing on the bad possibilities.

"You okay, baby? You're quiet." Kellin asked, rubbing his thumb across the back of my hand.

I swooned at the nickname. I could never get used to it.

"I'm just nervous...I just don't want my parents finding out."

"They won't. It's okay. You can tell them when you're ready. School is the first step, Vic."

I nodded my head, exhaling like it was the only thing I knew how to do. We walked across the soccer field, my eyes going straight to Max who was sitting under the bleachers again. He was alone this time. He looked up suddenly as if he felt my eyes lingering on him. He gave me a sad smile. Guilt bubbled in my stomach and I looked away immediately.

I started thinking about Max. When we first met. The first time I smoked weed. The first time I met his parents. When I finally admitted to myself that I liked him. When I knew he liked me too...within seconds, nothing but guilt sat still in my stomach. I really did like him. I still do like him. But I love Kellin. I always have and if anyone ever made me pick again, he'd always be my first choice. I just couldn't stop feeling like I was the shittiest person alive. Despite having Max's blessing, his encouragement, to be with Kellin...I kept thinking, who just leaves someone for somebody else? Who's that selfish? Who's that haste with their decisions?

Me. And I hate me. So much.

"What are you thinking about?" Kellin asked. We kept walking as he said hi to a couple of people. I was far too distracted to realize we were already in the building. "Vic?"

I hummed, looking up at him, not really remembering what he had asked.

"What are you thinking about? You're all quiet. Are you still nervous? Look, baby, we're in, we're okay. The hardest part will be dealing with all the questions." Kellin reassured. I smiled at him, genuinely feeling the ease in his voice wash off on me. This is what I've wanted for years. He was finally mine. Not my best friend, not my buddy, not my crush. He was finally, actually, my boyfriend.

"I'm just getting too much into my head, I'm sorry." I chuckled. "I'm happy, I'm here with you and that's all that matters."

My smile faded as I looked away from Kellin.

Was I really happy?

The loud ringing of the school bell suddenly blared through my ears.

"I'd walk you to class but I really can't be late again. I'll see you later okay, Vic?" Kellin smiled. He leaned down slowly, taking my face in his hands. My heart raced faster than it ever had. I closed my eyes as I felt his soft, cold lips press against mine in a short, but sweet kiss. The feeling of his lips lingered on mine when he smiled down at me. He gave me one quick peck this time and hurried off to class. I closed my eyes again. Scared. I didn't want to look up. I didn't want to look at anyone's disgusted faces. But I opened them anyway.

I kept my eyes at my feet for a few seconds until I decided I didn't want to be late either. I looked up and started walking, but as soon as I did, I met eyes with her. She looked at me and frowned.

"Dani-"

"Just...I'm not ready to- I'm not ready, okay? Please respect that." She spoke softly. With that, she closed her locker and walked away. I turned and watched her slowly walk out of my sight. I felt a tap on my shoulder.