Somewhere Only We Know (boyxboy) (kellic)

Chapter 34

(Judas Kiss by Jimmy The Pissed Off Poet)

Life, it turns and takes parole,
Dancing is this heartless soul,
The stench that comes from Judas' breath,
Lies that reek and stink of death,

The holy heart that swears so clean,
And lurks behind with Vaseline,
My friend, or at least I once called you,
And gave you chance times twelve, times two,

The knife you placed into my back,
Smiles at face when turned attack,
The gospel scream you room to room,
But have not love you live for gloom,

For forty silver forty piece,
Gave to him a sum at least,
But joy for sorrow on my face,
For forty silver you replace,

And love you watch the struggle and fall,
To those you preach the Godly call,
I have watched through years of this,
As you perform your Judas kiss

-
Vic's POV

I woke up, my body was drenched in sweat, my hands felt stiff, I felt cold. I sat up in the bed I was in. I had stayed over at Max's house, he said I'd need to and I didn't question it. Maybe this is what he meant. My head hurt but all I could think about was all the dilaudid that had gone to waste.

I pictured it in my mind, the clear liquid flowing through my veins, my body melting in on itself and allowing for me to breathe easy. I needed it. I wanted those sweet dreams to enter my mind, the ones that felt real with Kellin. I wanted it back; the feeling of being happy. I got up and made my way to his desk, to the bottom drawer. It was completely empty. He really did toss them all out.

"Stop looking for it. There's no more." Max spoke. I turned around at the sound of his tired voice and frowned.

"It's so fucking cold in your room." I snapped. I was irritable. I was mad at him. I didn't want to listen to him right now. He turned on the lamp that was next to his side of the bed. He sat up and looked at me. He didn't like to wear shirts to sleep so I was left with cheeks ablaze as I looked away. I sat criss cross on the floor and wiped the sweat on my forehead. My body felt hot but I swear I was so damn cold. I was shivering.

"Come here." Max sighed. I shook my head. He sighed again and I heard him get out of bed, still not looking at him.

I felt him sit next to me. I finally looked up at him, he went to put his arms around me but I stopped him.

"I'm sweaty." I said.

"I know." Max replied. He wrapped his arms around me and it instantly made me feel warmer. "You need to sweat it out."

We sat in silence and I couldn't help but realize how sad I actually felt. I didn't mean just now, in this moment. I meant...all the time. Everyday, I just felt so pathetic. I felt so stupid, so worthless...overall, I felt like a burden on everyone. Especially now, here with Max, he had to sit here and deal with me because of how stupid, how much of a fuck up I am.

Without the dilaudid I could really feel everything I had been feeling for months. It was all here now and I just couldn't stand it.

I let out a sob and quickly bit my lip as I attempted not to cry. I shut my eyes tightly as I felt my heart in my throat. My sobs were muffled until I couldn't hold it anymore and my mouth went agape. I sobbed loudly, my shoulders shaking and my chest feeling heavy. I couldn't stop myself.

Max pulled me closer to him and I let myself fall into his arms. I buried my face in his neck, spilling tears onto his skin.

"I-I'm s-s-sorry you have to-to deal w-with me. I'm so-o sorry." I apologized.