Somewhere Only We Know (boyxboy) (kellic)

Chapter Five

(A poem by Julie Martinez)

You're lovely in every form of the word.
I've never loved anything as much as you;
And it feels as if I'm going to burst with love --all for you.
I would go to the moon and back twenty times over, just
So you could see how much I love you.
I wouldn't mind if it was just you and me.
Alone in the world, because I wouldn't be so alone
If I had you.
-
Vic's POV

I'm twelve now and I've started to feel something for my best friend.

I wish I could say it was just a regular happy feeling your friends give you, but it's more than that. I haven't felt like this before but he's making everything feel all bubbly inside me.

It sprang out of nowhere, honestly. For the past twelve years I've lived, I have never found him attractive like that. Now though? I don't know, my minds telling me he's got a hot body and a killer smile.

Anytime he holds my hand now, it's like a shock of electricity passes through me. Oh god, Vic. Get your mind off of him. You're not supposed to feel like this...he's your best friend!

"Vic?"

I turned to look at Kellin, his god damned eyes had suddenly become so beautiful and I looked away as soon as I felt the butterflies swoop in.

I groaned loudly, getting up and away from him. We were at my house.

"What's wrong?" He asked, confused. Ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh.

"Nothing. It's nothing. Let's just do our homework." I grumbled.

"No, tell me what's wrong." Kellin frowned. "I want to make it better."

Kiss me, then. I thought.

"It's nothing, okay? It's not important, I promise." I sighed, sitting down with him again.

"Are you sure?"

I looked at him this time and felt my cheeks heat up.

"Yes." I answered. "Just hold my hand.."

And he did, without hesitation. I bit my lip and forced myself to look away again. Oh my god, he's so perfect, god, ugh.

Gay. I'm gay, I've decided. It's that word that I've recently learned, but the way other kids at school talk about it, I don't think it's a good thing. I'm supposed to like girls, and since I like Kellin, who's a boy, I'm weird and there's something wrong with me.

The day went on with us interacting quite awkwardly, which was all my fault, honestly. I just felt like he somehow knew about the crush I had on him and I didn't want to get too close today. It was like the feelings were on fire today more than any other day.

"Okay, I'm leaving." Kellin sighed. He stood up and shoved his things into his backpack angrily. I stood up too.

"Wait." I spoke, putting a hand on his chest. He dropped his backpack and looked at me, crossing his arms over his chest. I took in a deep breath. I wanted to say something but I didn't know what to say. So we stood there awkwardly, and I couldn't help but to keep stealing glances at his lips.

Agh! Dammit! Why is he so attractive?!

If I could just...kiss him once....just to see if I really did like him...

He rose an eyebrow when I stared at his lips too long and next thing I know, he's stepping closer to me and quickly pressing his lips to mine.

A jolt of electricity went through me and my heart skipped a beat.

"B-Bu-"

"If that's what you wanted, why didn't you just say so?" He asked, cutting me off. I couldn't speak, but I knew that I wanted him to do it again. Oh my gosh, is he gay too?

It was a quick peck, but I wanted another one.

"Do it again." I mumbled. My face was red and my heart was in my throat. He didn't seem flustered at all, he was relaxed. And then his lips were on mine again. But he pulled away quick once again.

"Kissing isn't a big deal Vic, friends kiss all the time." He laughed.

At that, my heart didn't feel so good anymore. So was this feeling not mutual, then? I felt a little deflated, but not too much because oh my god, I just kissed him twice!

"Okay." I mumbled.

"Okay. Now let's go play some fudging basketball!" He grinned.

"I'm gonna win, just saying." I chuckled. The nerves went away slowly, and we played for the rest of the night outside in my backyard.

Things were great. I was back to acting normal with Kellin, but the feelings were twice as strong. He had just kissed me. I shouldn't have expected that to make my feelings go away.

After he left, I laid in my bed and thought of him. I thought of his eyes, and the way they shined. I thought about his hair and how it smelled of kiwi's. I thought of how much shorter than me he was. I thought of his lips, and the way they tasted today, the way they felt against mine.

I let out a loud groan and rolled over in bed. The Room was dark, I should have been asleep by now, but I could help it. My mind wouldn't stop with thoughts about Kellin's perfection.

I looked at the clock on my dresser, next to my bed. It was nearly 2am.

"I hate him." I grumbled, tiredly. Why couldn't he just have grown up feeling the same way? This would make things so much easier.

I threw the blankets off of myself and got out of bed. I turned my light on and paced the room.

"Vic, he's a boy. He's a boy. He's a boy. He's a boy. He's a boy...you can't like a boy..." I sighed. I sat on the ground and let out a long, heavy sigh.

"Fuck me, and fuck my mom telling me not to cuss." I mumbled. I wouldn't want her to hear me.

"Fuck, shit, hell, bitch, motherfucker, bastard, asshole, mierda!" I spoke quick. That felt better.

After laying on the ground for an hour, I finally went to sleep deciding that this crush was just that. A crush. I'd get over it soon. This was just a phase.