Somewhere Only We Know (boyxboy) (kellic)

Chapter 51

(Death By Heinrich Heine)

Our death is in the cool of night,
our life is in the pool of day.
The darkness glows, I'm drowning,
the day has tired me with light.

Over my head in leaves grown deep,
sings the young nightingale.
It only sings of love there,

I hear it in my sleep.

-
Vic's POV

Kellin had left a while ago. He said he needed to be alone for a while.

So here I am, sitting in the darkness of the living room, tv off, lights off, curtains on the windows closed. No one had been home yet. My mama was supposed to be back from work a while ago, but still hadn't come home. I'd have been worried if it weren't for the fact that my mind was too clouded with thoughts of Kellin...thoughts of Max.

I put my head in my hands, feeling stressed. I didn't want to lose either of them but Max wants nothing to do with me now. I can't blame him at all, not in the slightest. A big part of me wanted to blame Kellin and be angry at him...but if he loved someone else besides me, I'd be just as hurt. I'd feel just as insecure...I probably would have lashed out just like he did. Even if it was wrong behavior. I understood.

My thinking was interrupted when the front door opened suddenly. My papa walked in and instead of walking past me and to his room like I expected him to, he stopped at the doorway and looked at me with panic in his eyes.

"Papa?" I asked, getting up cautiously.

"Your mama's in the hospital. Get in the car." He spoke, composed. He walked out and I immediately sprinted to the car. What was happening? Did she get into an accident? My mind was going haywire.

"What happened? Is she okay?" I asked, frantic. My papa said nothing. He drove and stared ahead like I wasn't even there.

"Papa! What happened?!" I shouted, worry growing in my chest by the minute.

"She doesn't want me to tell you!" He shouted back. I was overrun with confusion until he spoke again. "She...she wants to tell you herself."

I didn't say anything the rest of the way to the hospital. When we got there though...I couldn't help but be more confused. My papa had lead us to the oncology unit. He walked fast ahead of me. I almost bumped into him when he stopped abruptly. Nerves filled my stomach as he stepped aside and looked at the door.

"She's in there." He spoke, not looking at me.

My hands rattled against the side of my thighs as I reached for the door handle. I held my breath as I opened the door to the spacious room. There, in the middle of the room, was a hospital bed with my mama lying right on top of it. She gave me a sad smile as she looked at me. I frowned, tears filling my eyes as I hurried to her and wrapped my arms around her in a careful hug.

"What's wr-wrong? Why are we here? Why are you here?" I asked, not wanting to know but needing to for the sake of my sanity. My mama didn't let go of me as she spoke.

"I didn't want you to stress about anything more. You already had enough to deal with, mijo. I'm sorry, Vic."

I pulled away, wanting a real answer. "Tell me whats wrong with you, mama, please."

My mama grimaced as she finally answered me. "You don't know this, but I was a heavy smoker before you were born. And now the consequences have caught up to me. I have lung cancer."

I froze. "H-How long have you known?"

My mama sighed, solemnly. "It's been a while. I didn't want to spend my time in a hospital, but...I need to be here so they could make me more comfortable before it's time.
Pero te juro que lamento no haberte dicho antes, mijo."

"What do you mean, before it's time? I'm sure there's something they can do, you can't just give up-"

"It's in my lymph nodes now, Vic. It's spread too much, they found it too late and...there's nothing they can do." She whispered, eyes watering.

In a flash, I felt angry. I felt the snowball in my throat as tears ran down my face and I felt my heart break. "That's fucking bullshit! Why- Why didn't you tell me? What were you gonna do, hu?! Act like nothing was wrong at home and then just let me find you one day, cold and dead on your fucking bed?!"

My mama began crying, apologizing again and again. "I'm sorry, Victor!"

"No! You're not, cause if you fucking were, you would have never fucking kept this from me!" I sobbed. I wiped my eyes and ran out of the room. A new wave of tears would blur my sight, with every passing second. I ran out of the oncology unit and out of the hospital all together. I was crying so much I couldn't catch my own breath.

I hastily called Kellin. The phone rang and rang but he didn't pick up. I tried again. Nothing. And after a third attempt, I shook my head and dialed Max's number instead. I know they were both mad at me, but I needed them more than ever right now.

I was sobbing so loudly that I couldn't hear when the ringing stopped. I was about to hang up but a deep, honeydew voice stopped me.

"Vic? Are you okay? What's wrong?"

"P-Please come here! I n-need you, p-please, I'm at th-the hosp-pital, I-I can't do this, I can't!" I pleaded, unable to control my sobbing.

"Are you hurt?! Vic, what happened?! Which hospital?!" Max asked.

"I-It's n-not me...it's m-my mom. I'm at Sp-Spring View."

"Okay, okay, I'm on my way. I'll be there soon, V, don't worry."

"O-Okay."

I hung up and sat on one of the benches outside. I couldn't stop crying and it felt like forever until Max arrived, but when he did, he immediately took home into his arms and held me close.

I shook like a leaf in his arms, sobbing into his shoulder. He just held me there and soon enough, his vanilla scent and honeydew voice had me relaxing in his arms.

We sat outside as the sun went down and I told him about everything I had just found out. About my mama and her cancer. I told him about how angry I was, and how hurt I was, and how scared I was. And he listened despite how angry I knew he was with me. I nuzzled my head deep in the crook of his neck, never letting him go and him never letting go of me.

As we sat there on the bench, I couldn't help but think about how much time I had wasted thinking that God was ever on my side. That he never even cared about me. About anyone. A God as cruel as that is a God better off dead and out of my life. Because surely, a God would never do things such as this.

Maybe my sanity would have been better off not knowing after all.

A/N: I'm off to go drink with my friends lmao, hope you enjoyed the chapter!

Im not a big fan of this chapter, hopefully the next one comes out better, I feel like I'm in a little bit of a funk with my writing so ;-;

Thai Tea Of The Day: I'm talking to a guy which is a wild change from talking to girls all the time haha but pretty sure this is leading to a friends with benefits type thing and I'm hyped to finally have something like that xD it's been a while and a boy needs to be relieved 😅

I also matched with this guy I know in real life on a dating app and I know his gf but they have an open relationship, which I'm verrrry happy about cause I've thought he was cute since the day I met him xD haha

This year is going to be fuuuunnnn af and I can't wait 😹😹