Save Me (Highschool! Ichimatsu x Suicidal! reader)

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For unholy_satan

I was standing on stage watching the other students as we were graduating today. I felt tears leave my eyes. School was my safe place. A safe place away from my broken home. Of course my tears were mistaken for me being sad to leave. That was far from the truth. I walk up to the podium and wipe my tears. "Hello everyone. Those who don't know I am y/n l/n. I can't help but feel proud to see everyone here but sad to see that the year has ended."

I pause and glance over to where my older brother was sitting alone. My dad being gone for a long time and my mom...probably high or drunk at home. I gulp nervously and look down "um but I have hope that you will move on to better things. Some may go into the workforce, some may attend college and maybe a few will join armed forces. Whatever it may be I wish everyone luck and hope you will be happy with your new life outside of school." I say with a smile

I wish I could hope the same for me. I think before heading back to my seat. I was sat between Ichimatsu and Yanagita. Both gave me a smile and a small hello. I was actually friends with these two so I was in their friend group. Another thing I would have to say goodbye to. Truth was I have had enough of this world. I have had enough of my horrible brother. Enough of my terrible mother who wouldn't give a damn if I died.

I know because she told me so. Worse thing is she wasn't even drunk. She was completely sober.

Flashback

I was at the table doing my homework when my mom came into my room. "Hey sweetheart. Do you think you could head out to the store?" She asks and I hum before turning to her "depends what it is." She hums "Your brother and I just need some beer and were out. Be a dear and buy some more." I gave her a look.

"Mom I'm only 16. I can't but alcohol." I say and she smiles "of course you can." I shook my head "no I'll get in trouble." Her smile drops into a scowl "you're going." She demands but I stand my ground. "No. I'm. Not!" She slaps me and I yelp "don't you raise your voice at me! Go to the store now!"

I stood my ground albeit I was trembling. She scoffs "fine. Be that way. You are so ungrateful. I take care of you and you defy me like this. Not to mention you're a little liar." I tear up and put my head down "I knew I shouldn't have gave birth to you but your father kept saying no because he was against the idea." I gave her a sad confused stare and she left my room with a glare sent my way

"When your father died, you should have gone with him."

My heart shatters and when the door shut I went into a sitting fetal position. I hugged myself as I cried. I glance at my arms before rolling up my sleeve to see old scars. I stood up, grab my razor blade and hurry into my bathroom. Thank goodness I had my own bathroom in my room.

Flashback over

"Y/n. You're crying." Ichimatsu says snapping me out of my trance. I quickly wipe my tears and smile "right..I guess I'm just sad." I say and he hums "yeah I don't blame you. Graduation is a big deal." He says with a smile and I hum. I turn my head back towards the stage as the ceremony starts.

When it did end I hurry out of the gymnasium. Away from my brother. Though when I rounded a corner to go upstairs my brother stood there leaning against the wall. "Hey y/n~ thought you could get away did you?~" he asks and I went to escape but he grips my wrist before pushing me against the wall making me drop my diploma. I whimper and cower away from my brother.

He was not right in the head.

"You were trying to avoid me? You know you can't escape me y/n~" He coos before tracing my hips. "P-Please..S-Stop" I whimper out and he looks at me with a sick smile. "Why? You embarrassed? Don't want someone to see?" He asks and I nod before whimpering as he lowers his hand "well if someone did come over here it'd be your fault for making noise." I went wide eye "and I know there's a certain boy you don't want to see this."

Immediately Ichimatsu flashed across my mind and I turn my head as tears left my eyes I shut my eyes. I wasn't going to be here much longer anyway. He chuckles and rubs my thigh "There you go. Good girl~" He coos and more tears leave my eyes.

Y/n. Ichimatsu's voice calls out in my head and my eyes snap open. I push my brother off and kick him in the crotch. What was I thinking? I thought before running to the stairs. I run upstairs and run out onto the rooftop. I was panting and crying as I walk to the railing that lines the roof. I took off my shoes and undid my hair, leaving it blowing in the breeze. I look down and see some students leaving.

I sigh and climb over the railing. I grip the railing behind me and look down. I was nervous. I mean I wanted to leave this world but I was afraid to die. As I look down I saw one student look up and stop walking. I froze as it felt she was looking at me. My feeling was right when she let out a scream

"Why is she over the railing?!"

That lead to everyone else looking up and giving similar reactions. I notice some took out phones. I took a breath and mentally prepared myself. Was is it smart to do this at a school? No. Did I care? Not really. I just wanted to disappear. I only felt bad for those who would have to witness my death. I open my eyes and went to let go but I heard the door to roof get slammed open. It startled me and I grip the railing again.

I turn to see Ichimatsu with a panicked face that seemed to worsen when I looked at him. "Y/n..back away from the edge." He says and I shook my head "I have to do this Ichimatsu." I say turning away "No. No you don't. Look y/n, just step back. You aren't thinking." He says and I hear him walking closer. "Yes I am! I hate this world! I'm so sick of it!" I yell as tears form again.

"..you don't hate me do you?" I pause and glance at him "you don't hate Yanagita, right?" I kept silent and stare at him "do you hate my brothers?" I shook my head "I..I could never hate any of you." I say softly and Ichimatsu nods "okay. Okay and we don't hate you. Y/n we care about you. You have people who would be heartbroken to see you gone." I sigh and look down.

"I hate my mom Ichimatsu." He hums and I continue "I hate her and my brother. Both are terrible people. My mom is an alcoholic who beats me any chance she gets for any reason and my brother...my brother is not right in the head. He is sick...he..he would touch me..in ways that made me so uncomfortable. He's done that kind of thing since I was 10." I glance at Ichimatsu and his face dropped.

"I couldn't tell anyone..would they even believe me if I did." I say to myself and look back down at everyone below. "I can't even love myself anymore Ichimatsu." I say as a tear fell. "Then let me love you for the both of us." I turn to him with a confused look and he lays a hand on mine. "Y/n, I love you and I can't lose you nor could I live without you." He says and took my hand off the railing, interlocking it with his.

"That's why if you kill yourself, I'll do the same."

My eyes widen when I saw he wasn't kidding. He would kill himself just so he wouldn't live without me. I look down and felt fear bubble inside me. I turn to Ichimatsu and climb over the railing before jumping into his arms. I was crying loudly as I clutch onto him. "Ichimatsu..p-please help me.." I whimper out and he hugs me tight "I will. I will save you from that hellhole." I felt him pet my head and feel dampness on my shoulder.

He was crying too. I just held him tighter and bury my face into his chest. He sat me up and lays a hand on my arm. I understood and roll my sleeves up to show the scars on my arm. He took my arm into his hand and gently kisses the old scars on my arm. I laugh as it tickles slightly. He pulls away to look me in the eyes. He held my face and kisses my forehead and cheek before pulling me into a soft gentle kiss.

I kiss back softly and wrap my arms around his neck. He hums and pulls away to lift me up into his arms. "I'm taking you to my home. My mom will be happy to help you." He says and I smile before laying my head on his chest.


I smiled.

For the first time in a while I gave a genuine smile all thanks to Ichimatsu.

Thank you Ichimatsu. For both saving me and loving me.

You made my life worth living again.

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