Heal // z.m

66.

Zayn

Christmas was getting closer and my fever still hadn't improved. I was still feeling like a dishcloth with a bouncing head, glowing body and a strong nausea. All of my bones and muscles hurt extremely much but luckily Caroline gave Rose some painkillers for me to lighten the pain.

I sadly didn't see Rose as much as I wanted to. My eyelids were usually way too heavy to keep them open during the day and sleep would take over me completely. It took me a lot of energy to eat, go to the toilet or even talk, but I tried my hardest.

The bath was currently being filled by my mum with warm water, but I would have wanted to do it myself. It wasn't like I couldn't do anything at all. Sure, it took me way too much energy but I didn't want to be dependent upon her.

"Come here, love." My mum tugged at my shirt as I was tiredly sitting on a small stool near the tub.

I softly pushed her hands away, "I can do it myself mum." I mumbled. She got the note and quietly left the bathroom, closing the door behind her to give me some privacy.

Trying to take of my sleep blouse, I felt how almost all of my strength had lost my body. It made me feel worthless and sad, but I couldn't do anything about it. It was the sickness that took away a lot of good things.

The buttons took me a lot of time but I could luckily drop my pants and underwear easily. I sat down in the bathtub and closed my eyes immediately as my bare skin touched the warm water.

It made me feel even more tired although I had just awoken from my deep slumber. Everything made me so extremely tired and I hated it. I had missed a lot of things already like my sisters and Rose going Christmas shopping, my grandparents came over but I missed them as I was asleep the whole time, then the afternoons and evenings where Rose and my sisters would play games..

It wasn't fair to me, but nothing could help it. I wanted to give Rose a good time here, and I couldn't even be the one who could make sure she actually had it. I tried so hard to be fun but my body would always disappoint me and tell me when it was enough way too fast.

My mum became extremely protective which I could appreciate yet it annoyed me sometimes. I felt like she was babying me too much sometimes, even if her intention was good.

I reached for the knob with my hand and turned the shower head on so I could wash my face and head while sitting down. I wanted to get out as soon as possible as even the bones on my bum started to hurt.

I gripped on the edge of the tub and tried to push myself up. At the same moment, my mother came in and rushed her way over to me to help me out. I glanced at her and sat back down on purpose, a frown forming on my mother's face as I did so.

"Mum," I sighed, "I told you.. I can do this on my own."

My mum stroked my cheek. "I can tell a small action like this eats all of your energy. Come on, I'll help you. There's nothing to be ashamed of. You're my son."

"I can do this on my own." I looked at her and couldn't help and accidentally clench my jaw. There were times where I was just tired of people helping me all the time, like in hospital. I knew I should appreciate it, and I did a lot, but at some points I still needed my privacy and a bad mood didn't really help either.

My mum pulled her arms back but kept standing there. When she started to search for some towels I slowly, as I simply couldn't do it any faster, stepped out of the already slightly cold water and I tried to cover my manhood as she held out a towel for me.

I dried my lower body first and slipped on my underwear, drying my upper body after that. "Why are you not leaving me alone, mum?" I asked, but kept my tone soft.