Heal // z.m

twenty six | surgery & tears

Rose

Once Caroline and I had arrived to the surgery room, she handed me a mouth cap and a cape to wear over my clothes, so everything was as sterile as it could and had to be.

Zayn's parents had said their goodbyes already as they weren't allowed to be in this room anymore, though, the nurses were. Curiosity had taken over me as I'd always wanted to know how these things work, however, I was also slightly nervous as I knew anything could go wrong.

I adjusted the mask on my face and I tied the cape behind my back, wearing the blue shoe covers for the hygiene and to keep things sterile as well. Once I was finished, Caroline held the door for me and I thanked her as I stepped inside the room, my eyes roaming over the very white area.

Zayn was already in the bed but he was still sitting up and listening to some of the doctors, which were about five men who were all instructing and preparing him for his surgery. He was wearing his hospital gown, but obviously left his beanie off. It made him look sick, even though he always was- he didn't always look like it. But now, in the surgery room in nothing but a gown, anyone could tell he had cancer.

"So, what they're doing now is telling him how long it will take, what the side effects of the anesthetics can be and what he might feel like after surgery. They're preparing him for everything while maybe half of the things they're saying might not be for him." Caroline explained quietly, pointing at the doctors.

I nodded and watched how they showed him a few things they were going to use in surgery. I heard the patients could choose if they wanted to see it or not, as some patients had become unwell by seeing it since they were using pretty big and heavy things. Zayn chose to see it.

The doctor turned his attention to us, "We're going to give him the anesthetics" He informed us, waving us over to the bed where Zayn was lying in. Caroline guided me over, her hand pressed to the lower part of my back.

Zayn gave me a small smile, the left corner of his mouth curled up more than the right one. Returning the smile, my cheeks warmed, making me focus on the doctor who was preparing his anesthetics instead.

"Alrigt, Zayn. The anesthetics are prepared and we'll be giving them through a face mask. When we put it on, we want you to count from ten to one, alright?" He asked Zayn, helping Zayn sit up more safely, in case he'd slip into the anesthesia and fall back down.

"Okay, yeah." Zayn slowly nodded his head and watched silently how the doctor held up the face mask, allowing Caroline to talk to him for the one last time before he'd go into surgery.

Caroline pressed a kiss to Zayn's head and patted his hand softly, tenderness in her eyes. "Good luck, Zayn. You can do it."

"Thanks." He almost whispered, smiling at her, then at me as our eyes met. His calmness made me feel calm as well, the slight nerves fading as I trusted God, fully handing over the surgery to Him and the doctors.

The doctor adjusted the mask to Zayn's pale face, instructing the other doctor to hold Zayn up as he could fall down quickly. "Okay, count from ten to one, please." The doctor instructed Zayn, checking the machines so now and then.

Zayn had a slight frown on his forehead as he started breathing in and out through the mask and he started counting, "Ten, nine, eight, seven... seven.." He started to become sleepier, judging from his face as his eyes were already closing but he tried really hard to focus on the numbers and stay awake.

"Seven... six... eight.. t-ten.. n-" He couldn't finish the nine, which was a wrong number, anyway but it didn't matter. It was extremely strange to see as within one second his frown and slightly furrowed eyebrows went back to a neutral expression and he fell down onto the doctors hands who were holding him up.