Heal // z.m

thirteen | games & bambi eyes

Zayn

"Zed! Pass it on!" Nathan yelled at me, his hand hysterically waving at me. I dribbled my way towards him, turned around twice to distract the player from the opposite team, and finally threw the ball towards Nathan. He caught it right after, jumped and scored for the third time in a row.

I cheered and clapped my hands, shamelessly doing a happy dance, making some of the guys chuckle at me, "You go Nate! You've got some talent there, who could've known." I chuckled as he high- fived me.

"I don't have talent, I just played the game too much because this hospital is boring me out, man. You'll be a pro a the end of your cures too, trust me." He laughed and high- fived some other patients who were on our team, making me laugh.

"I guess." My laughter died to chuckles and I stared at Nathan as I went to sit down on the grass, rubbing my eyes and trying to catch my breath. My throat was hurting because of all the efforts I had to do for the game and I pulled up my knees, resting my elbows on them.

Nathan frowned, "Hey, we still need to play another one! It's six-six now. We need to win." He ran over to me and stretched his hand out, in order to pull me up, but I politely rejected it.

I didn't have energy to play another game, and again, I wasn't exaggerating. The medication, running and jumping for a while literally drained out all of the energy I had. My legs felt like they were from metal and I still hadn't caught my breath.

"No, I'm sorry. I don't have energy anymore." Rubbing my eyes again, I lied down on the grass, my knees still pulled up.

Nathan came to sit down next to me and he kept looking at me, concern laced in his bright eyes "You okay, mate?"

Opening my eyes, I looked back at him, my hand above my eyes to cover the sunlight which was shining brightly into them, "I'm fine." I said quietly.

Nathan looked up at the sky and stayed quiet for a while. I saw him signing something to the other patients and a moment later I heard them yelling names. They were playing the game without us.

"Chemo sucks." He said as he turned his face back to me, biting his lip thoughtfully.

I nodded my head and sighed, "I only had the first session but still. It does." He stayed quiet again and I frowned. He was usually kinda chatty and now there had been a few silent moments and that was unusual. "Why are you so quiet?"

Nathan let out a sigh, his fingers nervously playing with grass, "I've got something to tell you."

I sat up and rested my cheek in my hand, my elbow still on my pulled up knees. "What is it?"

"I only have one chemo left and then I'll probably go home and stay there because.. I'm almost clean and the doctor predicts that my last chemo will kill the last bad cells." Nathan squinted his eyes as he was looking at the sun. I felt like he didn't want to look at me but, I didn't really understand why.

I nudged his knee, a smile making its way onto my face. "Caroline told me. That's great news, Nate. Really."

He nodded, "Yeah, it really is."

"Then why are you so quiet?" I asked, frowning slightly as I tried to read something off his face, but I couldn't. He didn't give away one thing.

He shrugged. "I'm really happy, I just don't want to.. I know you hate it, but I can't help and feel bad for you. You still have to go through so much and we became such good friends you know?" He chuckles, "I sound like such a girl, I know.. but I can't be too happy knowing you're still here. Only I know what you're going through and it sucks so.. you know what, bad."