Heal // z.m

twenty nine || secret hiding place

Rose

Nathan's death really kicked in, in all of us. It was so unexpected that most of the people here still didn't believe that it had really happened. Nathan was supposed to go home soon because everything was looking good, but unfortunately it came back aggressively and he was too tired to fight against it.

He had passed away around one in the afternoon, with his family and girlfriend around him- Caroline had told me. It was great sadness here on the department.

I didn't know Nathan that well, but we had talked once or twice and from what I had noticed was that he was a really nice and outgoing person. I could understand why everyone was so broken about it, great atmosphere was taken away from the department.

I hadn't seen Zayn since our moment together in the garden and we were now a day further. I didn't know where he was, but Caroline assumed he had locked himself up in his room. Nathan was his best friend after all.

A few nurses had set up a memorial and we would come together with all the patients and nurses in a bit to say our last goodbyes to him in the hospital. They, apparently, did it for every patient that passed and I thought it was a beautiful gesture, yet extremely sad.

Caroline made sure I was okay all the time, though. She knew how this could be if you went through this for the first time. He was my first patient that passed away, after all.

I've had lessons about this at school, but you never knew what it felt like until it happened on your work for real.

Caroline placed her hand on my shoulder and guided me through the chaos. There were patients crying and nurses and docters were trying to stay strong but the ones who were close to Nathan had it rough. Everyone went to sit down as one of the nurses told us to and Caroline sat down beside me.

I swallowed when I saw his coffin in front of us with a photo on it. It was a photo of him when he wasn't sick. His dark blonde hair was messy, his eyes sparkling as a bright smile was visible on his face. I could see how bright blue his eyes were and it made me think of how dull they would look now- only because his soul had left his body.

Slowly looking around me, it didn't take me long to find the guy I had been missing. He was sitting on the last row, his head bowed down as he stared at his lap. I wanted to sit down beside him, but somebody else took that place before I had the chance to.

I wanted to comfort him so bad. I hated to think that he was going through pain again. It was different pain now, but it didn't matter. No situation could be compared in my eyes.

"We're brought together today as our beloved patient and friend Nathan has sadly passed away yesterday. We sadly weren't able to heal him like we all would have wanted to." The nurse spoke. "We're all grieved and shocked by the news. Nathan was a good guy. Always funny, helpful and outgoing. Our condolences go out to his family, friends and beloved ones. To sum up his time with us we have made a photo collection for him."

She started up a presentation which was shown on the wall. She went through the pictures and I heard a few patients starting to cry along with some nurses. I noticed that Caroline had tears rolling down her cheeks as well and that was all it took for me to tear up.

I stared at the photos of him and the nurse held a short explanation by every photo. We saw photos of him with his family and girlfriend around his bed and I couldn't imagine what his girlfriend was going through right now. How would it feel to lose your boyfriend because of a sickness?

"Here, you see him playing basketball, his favourite game. His surgery didn't take away his amazing talent." The nurse smiled through her tears while we all looked at a photo of him jumping with the ball in his hands.