Heal // z.m

54.

Rose

"Did everyone get their medication?" Caroline asked as she looked up from her computer as she was reporting.

I nodded, "Yeah, except for Zayn. He wasn't in his room so.. I don't know where he is." I sighed a little.

It had been a while since I last spoke to him. Yesterday after I took out his tube, I had a conversation with my teacher and Caroline about how everything went and I then left to do an exam at university. I hadn't seen him anymore and when I came into his room this morning to give him his medication, he was still fast asleep.

I had stared at him for a while and I really wanted to hug him, knowing my behavior was strange yesterday. He had looked so innocent and peaceful, I didn't want to hurt him in any way.

I just hoped that he understood I said that because the teacher and Caroline were around. The teachers at university always told us how a relationship between nurses and patients were strictly forbidden, and if you noticed a patient was growing closer to you, you had to stand for your limits.

I, obviously, wanted to hug him back and I already grew feelings for him so it was too late to stand for my limits. And besides, I didn't even want to stand for it as I liked us being rather close. He was my friend, a friend I liked. But I knew I would've gotten problems with my teacher. I had to say it to Zayn so she could hear and think I was good at declaring the things I had learned.

"Zayn?" Caroline frowned, then had a soft expression. "Oh, I think he's eating lunch outside. You can maybe eat your lunch outside as well? The weather is nice and you could give him his medication."

I nodded and grabbed my lunchbox out of my bag, "Yeah sure. If he doesn't mind.." I hesitated, secretly referring to yesterday. Although Caroline didn't know, Zayn might have told her.

"He wasn't talking much, so I don't know if he's in a good mood." Caroline sighed softly but shrugged. "He'll be fine once he sees you." She winked.

I blushed a little as I didn't really know what she meant with that. Nobody ever confirmed our feelings over here, so I didn't know if he liked me and he didn't know that I liked him. It was okay, though. I didn't mind keeping it this way for a while.

Walking down the stairs, I carefully shoved his medication in the pocket of my jacket so I wouldn't lose it.

Finally, after the way too many stairs I was on the first floor and I opened the door which led outside to the hospital yard, which was only for the patients, doctors and nurses.

I stepped out of the hospital and saw several patients playing games, like I always. It took me a while to find him, but I eventually saw him sitting on a low stone wall, watching the other patients playing a game while eating a sandwich.

I walked over to him, "Hey Zayn."

He looked up at me and squinted his eyes as the sun was shining right into them, "Hi." He said quietly, quickly looking down at his lap again.

The fact that he didn't smile said enough. I hurt him yesterday and I had to make it right. I just hoped he would believe and understand me, because I wouldn't be lying.

I stared at him and saw how red his cheek still was. It didn't seem to go away, not even with the cream he was applying on it everyday. I felt bad for him.

"How's that?" I pointed at his sandwich, referring to the fact that he was tube feeding- free.

He glanced at me and stared at his sandwich after that, swallowing his mouthful. "It's good." He gave me a small smile, but it looked a little sad and forced.