Heal // z.m

eleven | sleep & family

Zayn

"Do you also want the salmon sandwich dear?" The woman that worked at the hospital kitchen asked me, a warm smile on her face.

I nodded my head while staring at the plate a girl before me was holding. The sandwich didn't look too bad but I knew it the salmon would probably taste nothing like it. Hospital food wasn't just exactly.. good, although I was still grateful for it.

The woman handed me my plate and I got myself a glass of water, to swallow my pills with. Walking over to an empty table, I sat down and placed my plate and glass on the table, closing my eyes for a quick prayer. Once I was done, I brought the sandwich to my mouth and observed the area.

It was Friday and it was very quiet, rather boring. Lots of patients were going home today to spend their weekends at home but I wasn't allowed to, due to my new results. My family would probably visit me though, so that was one excited thing.

Another thing was that even if I didn't see Rose all the time, in fact, I had only seen her for not even an hour a day, I could still feel that she wasn't here. Seeing her for even one minute made my day a little better because she was an amusing person. She had this positive vibe around her that she brought into the hospital by just walking around. I wasn't used to it.

Digging into my sandwich, I cringed when I tasted the salmon. It really wasn't good but I still swallowed it down, knowing I had to eat something if I wanted my medication to work. I looked around me while slowly eating up the sandwich and I sighed when no one came to sit with me, not that there were much people, but still. It was quiet enough, some entertainment would've been nice.

I stuffed the pills in my mouth and gulped my water, swallowing all of them down in less than a minute. I was getting better at it each day. Suddenly, my eyelids started to feel a little bit heavier and I rested my head on my arm, closing my eyes and listening to all the surrounded back ground noises.

"Zayn." Caroline's voice rung through my head, and I looked up instantly.

"Hi." I responded, watching her as she sat down across the table, a concerned expression visible on her face.

She pushed my plate aside and rested her elbows on the table, clearly observing my expression as she stared intensely into my eyes, "How are you doing? I heard the news from Doctor Lane."

Playing with the crumbs on my plate, I thought back about the news I had gotten. I was relieved, in some ways, that she knew it already, not feeling like telling everybody about it. The spot on my stomach had started to get more swollen and it still hurt a lot, but I luckily was allowed to get painkillers today.

"I'm fine." I answered truthfully, as I had accepted it easily. I had had time to think it through, and at the end I could only think about the fact that there was nothing else we could do, except for accepting.

Caroline grabbed my hand, brushing her finger over the back of it, "Are you sure? You're allowed to have different emotions, you know that."

I gave her a smile, "I'm fine Caroline. I'm very sure. I accepted it."

Caroline sighed and shook her head. "Sometimes I don't understand how you're so positive about all of this." She smiled at me. "It's a good thing though. It really is, but even I teared up when he told me that."

I smiled again, not saying anything as I didn't exactly know what to.

"Rose told me that you didn't tell her. She was a little shocked when I told her the news. She said you were very cheerful yesterday." Caroline handed my plate to the woman who always washed the dishes when she walked past and she looked back at me again.