Slowly Dying

Chapter 65

Mark's POV

I tightened my tie up and put my blazer on. I was dressed in a newly bought suit. I put on shoes and waited downstairs for Dad to take us. It was Nicole's funeral today. I played with my fingers as Stacey came in.

She hugged me and sat besides me. She, too, played with her fingers. I could see the sadness in her eyes. I could feel the pain she was feeling. Dad came in the room and coughed. We all stood up and he pulled us both into a hug, to my surprise. Mum came in and he hugged her as well.

I felt overwhelmed by the emotions. I still couldn't seem to get over the fact that I had lost my little sister. It was a shock when I found out that she had been bullied. Nicole was so funny and she had the kindest heart. I can't believe that she was abused every single day at school. I should've noticed something different about her if I looked hard enough. But I didn't.

***

I was currently at the funeral with everyone. I had just said my speech for Nicole. Stacey agreed to be first because Mum was really upset at first. I was sitting on the front row with Stacey on one side and Adam on the other. Mum and Dad stood up to share a few words about Nicole. They walked to the front.

"As you all know, a beautiful girl has left this world last week. She was loved by many and I will always love her. It's sad that she's not with us anymore because she really did make me laugh. She was caring and kind. My Nicole, come back," Mum said as her voice broke at the end.

Mum began crying into Dad's arm. Dad hugged onto her. Stacey's sobbed quietly into my shoulder. I stroked her hair and gave her a sympathetic smile. Dad cleared his voice and started speaking.

"Nicole was a lovely and caring daughter who never failed to make me smile. She was truly special and different to everyone else. She made the house light up whenever she stepped in. Everyone was happier because she was honestly a really nice person who cared for anyone."

You could see that he was trying his best to not breakdown and cry. His eyes glistened with tears and he blinked them away. He walked back to his seat, cradling Mum besides him as he hugged onto her. It was Adam's turn. I patted his back. He stood up and walked to the front. He stood in front of everyone and began speaking.

"Nicole was my girlfriend and I loved her more than anything, she was just simply amazing. She never failed to make me laugh. She's the one who put a smile on my face just by seeing her. She was pretty special. Whenever she laughed, she had these dimples that made her look adorable. She loved Ed Sheeran and I could never stand him but I still took her to the concert because it was a pleasure to see her smile and be happy," he said, as the tears fell down his cheeks.

He bawled out crying and covered his face with his hands. He managed to stop the sobs from coming out and continued to speak. His voice thick with emotions.

"Nicole was the kindest person ever and they all treated her like she was nothing. They hurt her so bad. Just seeing the bruises on her was enough to make me cry. She's gone and I'm never gone to see her again. I'm never going to hear her laugh. I'm never going to watch her sing again, she had a terrible singing voice but I'd do anything to hear her again."

His voice cracked and he began crying loudly. He looked up and wiped the tears with his sleeves.

"Have you ever felt like you don't know what's going on anyone? Like you don't care about anything anymore. You've lost your motivations to do anything. Like you can't explain how you feel like because words just don't describe the feeling. You have that feeling of emptiness and the feeling that no one is there for you anymore. That feeling that no one understands you. And it seems like there's nothing to look forward to anymore.. because that's how I feel,"

He stopped speaking and bawled out crying. I let the tears run down my face and forced myself to keep it together.

"The sun will continue to rise and the moon will continue to glow, night will become days and flowers will start to grow, but there'll come a day and you'll be there, for eternity will have begun, forever and always, a time we'll share," he said.

He wiped the tears off his face. He began running towards the door as the sobs escaped his mouth. I heard the door shut. I stood up and walked out towards the door to find Adam, wiping the tears that fell down my face. I stepped outside. The cool breeze hit my face and Adam was nowhere to be seen. I went back in. I wanted to stay till the end. Then I'll find Adam.

I saw Amelia speaking. I haven't heard her speak before apart from when she says hi. I sat down in my seat and listened to the end of her speech.

"I've been taking hours of speech therapy so I can say this. Nicole wanted me to say this to you all." She said, softly. She looked down and read out what was said on the paper.

"Do not stand at my grave and weep,
I am not there. I do not sleep.
I am a thousand winds that blow.
I am the diamond glints on snow.
I am the sunlight on ripened grain.
I am the gentle autumn rain.
When you awaken in the morning's hush.
I am the swift uplifting rush
Of quiet birds in circled flights.
I am the soft stars that shine at night.
Do not stand at my grave and cry.
I am not there, I did not die," she said, her voice cracked at the end.

She sobbed into her hands. Her Dad went to her and hugged her tight as Stacey sobbed into me. The heartbreaking scene in front was enough to make everyone cry. I couldn't keep it together anymore as I bawled out crying in my sister's shoulders uncontrollably, the loud sobs escaped my mouth and I never held back.

Nicole's gone and it hurts like hell. I miss her so much. It's crazy to think that we were pelting eggs at Tyler a few weeks ago and she seemed so happy. I never noticed that inside she was breaking. I never noticed then how much she needed me. I noticed too late.

__________________________________

I love you all so much. Who can play Mark?? I need a picture.

There's some people who have been supporting me since I started writing:
Realthox - love her!!
XxBiscutexX  - she's amazing!!
Killo1303  - check her book out x
They've always been there from when my book had only a few reads and you should check their books out xx

Also, check out x_oluchi_x book out. It raises awareness about suicide so y'all should defooo check it out. She's amazing and always there for me.

Love you all xxx