Slowly Dying

Chapter 22

Nicole's POV

I woke up and I looked at the other side of the bed. Adam wasn't there. I sat up and I saw Adam on the floor with only a thin blanket on top of him. I instantly felt so bad. This is all my fault. I ruined last night for having a stupid flashback on the day I was raped. I mean it's all my fault everyone hates me so much. Why was I even born?

I hate myself so much. Adam must feel really bad. I got out of bed and I had a shower. I washed all the foundation that covered my arms and I removed the remainder of the foundation on my face. I stepped out the shower and quickly put on a long sleeved jumper dress. I put on black tights with black boots that had gold buckles.

I dried my hair with a hairdryer and I straightened my hair and concealed the bit of my face that had a slight bruise on it. I stepped out of the spectacular bathroom and I went to the bedroom. Adam was up and he stretched his arms.

He looks so cute when he's tired! His sleepy eyes looked at me and he smiled. He got up and  hugged me. He then got his clothes and headed to the bathroom.

"I'm just having a shower, I'll be 10 minutes top," Adam said, as he went to the ensuite.

"Okay," I replied.

I went to get my phone from my bag. I had loads of messages. A few from mum, dad, Stace and Mark but the rest from Chloe and her mates.

'Why the fuck did you come to the ball when you actually looked like shit?? Ffs why can't you kill yourself, tbh no one likes you so jump of a cliff bitch'  - Chloe

'Why the hell did you win the Ice Queen?? My mind cannot actually see how you won it because you're actually ugly as fuck' -Amanda

'Can you please do me a favour, love?? Kill yourself babes xx' - Jessica

' Why did you come to the ball?? No one wanted you there and you smelt like a fucking dog' - Jasmine

'Can you be a bit more grateful?? You act so prestigious and delicate but come on there is actually no fucking reason to ignore me, I mean what the fuck did I do to you?' -Brianna

I was absolutely stunned by the amount of messages that I got me. The messages I just read was just a small amount of the ones that was there. I knew everyone hated me but the amount of hatred in the messages just hurt me so much.

I mean Brianna is the one who announced me as Ice Queen and I only ignored her because I thought she hated me because she's like besties with Amanda.

I lay down on the bed with my face down on the pillow and I sobbed and sobbed. It was so hard reading all these nasty things. I felt like cutting myself but the fact that I couldn't cut myself and relieve some of the pain just made me cry even more. I heard the door open and I heard Adam running towards me.

"What's wrong, babes?" He said.

I felt a piece of water drop on my neck from his wet hair. I looked up at him and he was dressed in a black top with black jeans. I didn't say anything.

"Is it last night?" He asked, looking sad.

"No, I need to tell you I'm sorry about last night. I'm really really sorry, I just got scared for a second, it wasn't you, it was me," I said.

"No that's fine, but what's wrong," he said.

"Can we forget about it?" I said, drying my eyes.

"Promise me, that you're okay and it's not Chloe or anything," he said.

"It's nothing, I promise" I lied.

"Alright, let me dry my hair and then we'll go eat breakfast," he said.

After 10 minutes we left the room and we went down to the dining hall to eat which was extremely modern. We sat down at the table which was wooden and really big. We ordered a full English breakfast for each off us. This costed £17 per plate which was very expensive.

The food came minutes later and it tasted absolutely delicious. I ate everything within 5 minutes. I offered to pay but Adam refused and payed himself. We packed our bags and put them inside Adam's car as we only planned to stay for one night. Me and Adam sat in and we drove off.

"Do you remember when I found you in the girls bathroom, a few months back?" He asked.

"Erm yeah, why?" I asked.

"When I took you hospital I noticed your arms were covered in scars, and yesterday at the ball, I noticed you had no scars and that literally made me so happy," he said, smiling.

"Yeah," I said, smiling. If only he knew.

He drove all the way back to my place. When we got there, only Stacey and Mark were home. Mum and dad were probably still working. Adam and I headed upstairs to my room. We just chilled for a few hours until he said he had to go home.

"Bye, Nic," he said as he walked off to his car with Mark.

He offered Mark to go around in his new car with him and Mark obviously went. I went to my room and I am not going to lie, I've never felt as depressed in my life as I feel now.

I feel as if everything's slowly crumbling. Sometimes it dawns on me why am I still here. Tears streamed from my eyes. I was crying over everything bad that's happened. Over how nothing will ever be good again. Maybe this was a way of saying to me that I should just kill myself. Everyone hates me anyway.

Should I kill myself? Should I just go? Because I feel like I'm dying anyways, slowly by slowly, Like I'm fading away. I hated every aspect of my life and if I'm honest the only good thing is probably my family, Adam and Selena. That's it. That's all.

That's when I finally decided. I am going to give everything one last chance. I'm going to try one more time. I will try my best to be happy and make Adam happy. Because Adam deserves someone who is happy and loves him. I will try to be happy and love him with all my heart.

She was giving life another chance. But what she didn't know was that everything was going to continue deteriorating. The days were going to get more worse. More people will grow a hate for her. Her enemies will continue destroying her until there's nothing left of her. Till she's gone. Dead.
For she was the girl slowly dying..

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