Torture

Rage

With a blue flash we crashed through into another world. "Ta dah!" Loki announced smugly as the ship hit the ground and skidded across the dust beneath us. Still gliding forward I stood gingerly to my feet taking in our surroundings. A green hue filled the air and a vast rocky desert was laid out before us with only large mountains causing an obstacle between us and the horizon. As we flew forward the sand before us turned into a graveyard of destroyed vessels and their men, Loki continued to drive as Thor covered Jane from the brisk weather that had greeted us. All was silent as I took in the new landscape. I watched Thor sooth Jane before turning my head back to Loki as his frustrated sigh broke the stillness. "What I could do with the power that flows through those veins" Loki hummed causing me to look back to Jane and then Loki once again. "It would consume you" Thor stated as I rubbed my upper arms, attempting to keep warm. Loki noticed my actions and nodded towards me and then between his legs. I happily obliged and sat between them gladly accepting to shelter from the wind around us as his chained hands continued to fly us forward. "She's doing alright" I acknowledged, looking to Jane. "For now" Loki replied Looking to Thor slyly as he took a seat in front of us.

"She's strong in ways you'd never even know" Thor told us. "You'd be surprised" Loki replied looking down towards me fondly. I would have missed the small gesture if I hadn't have been looking up at him. The sweet moment was quickly taken as Loki went back to his harsh ways. "Say goodbye" he hummed earning a slight smack to the shin from me "Not this day" Thor replied hastily. "This day, the next, a hundred years, it's nothing! It's a heartbeat! You'll never be ready" Loki chorused whilst standing to his feet. I shuffled away from him before leaning my head against the ship bench, Thor may have thought those words were aimed to hurt him, but Loki's confrontation actually seemed slightly more personal. I was never ready for the next bout of abuse, never ready for the pain to happen again and again. Even now I doubt I'll let another man touch me in those ways for a very long time, even if it was an act of love. I closed my eyes and stopped the tears from falling. It was almost as if I had to forget my torture, forget what those vile men had done to me, the marks were slowly but surely leaving my body but the mental scars would never leave and that was something I was sure off. I had never recovered. Of course I was grateful for Loki's aid but I was still damaged and a couple of days away from prison to complete this 'mission' with a man I'd come to adore was hardly what I'd call therapy. At the end of the day I had been raped, I had been beaten and I had been abused and that wasn't just going to disappear and I doubt it ever would. Maybe Loki meant what he said for both him and I, due to the unforgiveable conditions in which we met and maybe this was as taxing for him as it was for me, maybe just maybe there was a lot more that needed to be said between us.

As I continued in my daze I was brought back to my senses as the brothers continued to fight. "The only woman whose love you prized will be snatched from you" Loki finished staring angrily at his brother, hurt laced through his voice as the clear envy of his brother's life became clear. "And will that satisfy you?" Thor bellowed back causing me to jump "Satisfaction is not in my nature" Loki remarked as I pulled myself up and sat on the bench hunching up as small as possible, hating myself for earwigging in this particular conversation as the four of us continued forward through the wreckage. "Surrender is not in mine" Thor snapped back. "The son of Odin..." Loki trailed of. "No, not just of Odin. You think you alone were loved of mother? You had her tricks but I had her trust" Thor reckoned. "Trust?" Loki breathed before pausing "Was that her last expression? Trust!? When you let her die!?" Loki shouted causing Thor to step forward "What help where you in your cell!" Thor roared back "Who put me there? WHO PUT ME THERE?" Loki screamed in retaliation. "You know damn well! You know damn well who!" Thor screamed lunging at his brother and pushing up against the back of the ship harshly and raising his fist. I flinched at the men's actions, vivid flashbacks of the guards in my cell haunting my memory as I backed away from the two of them towards Jane. Loki quickly brought his eyes to mine, seeing the fear fixed across my face. He looked to his brother with pleading eyes as my body trembled at the thought of another clenched hand. "She wouldn't want us to fight" Thor spat with sadness laced through his voice as he let go of his brother and backed away from him before turning to me and realising the state I was in. "Well she wouldn't exactly be shocked" Loki replied a slight smile across his face as he looked to me after his brother, attempting to calm my nerves. "You and I are not so different brother, you'd be astounded by what Zeanna has gifted me with" Loki plead "I wish I could trust you" Thor replied nodding to me sympathetically as Loki remained leaned against the stern of the boat, I skidded up beside him, glad to be next to him as my breathing returned to normal and my flash anxiety attack retreated, however his last words confused me, what had I given him? Loki stood forward and bowed down to kiss my forehead soothingly before looking back to Thor. "Trust my rage" Loki finished looking of into the distance standing before me protectively.