Belle

Chapter 19

I open the passenger side door and grab my bags from the car floor before getting out. I look up at the house my grandmother just bought, the house I now live in. It was small brick building with bushes lining the walls. Two trees stood on either side of the front yard, their leaves turning orange from the new season. I follow my grandmother inside placing my bags on the floor. The house was already furnished, the living with a black leather couch and a flat screen TV hanging on the wall in front of it. A fireplace sat under the TV, an electric one, sadly.

    "Isn't it just lovely?" My grandmother asked me as she took a seat on her new couch. The whole house gave me a very homey feeling, something my old house never did. It was a big house, very modern with a lot of windows and the walls and furniture colored white. The walls in the living room here were painted a light orange color and a brown carpet.

    "It's great, nan." I say, trying to sound as enthusiastic as possible. I flop my body on the couch next to her, a grim look on my face.

    "Oh, honey I know moving out is going to be hard. But it'll be great with me." I force a smile at her. Living here would be much better for the baby. It's not like my mother would've helped me and I can't do this alone.

    "I know, it's just hard." I sigh.

    "I know it must hurt. That's where you grew up, with your father." Tears started to swell up in my eyes. Stupid pregnancy hormones. When my father died, I didn't shed a tear, not even at his funeral. Well, I did when I was alone, but never in front of people. I always made my feelings oblivious, like nothing could affect me. Some people asked me if I was even sad, and I just shrugged, Of course I was sad, but I wasn't going to let anyone know that. I hate pity, it makes me uncomfortable.

    "It's the only thing I have left of him, nan." I choke, tears now running down my cheeks. I sob, unable to hold it back anymore. My grandmother wraps her arm around my shoulder and pulls me into a hug, my face laying on her chest.

    "I know, sweetheart. But your father is always watching over you, making sure you're making the right decisions."

    "Well he obviously wasn't trying very hard, I'm sixteen and pregnant for god's sake." I shake my head, more tears running down my cheeks. "What a stupid, stupid thing I did."

    "Hey hey hey, nothing is your fault. Or anyone else's fault. Bella, everything happens for a reason. And this baby-" she said, poking at my small bump gently. "was not a mistake. Something good is going to come from this, and not only that, but a beautiful baby." I smile slightly, sniffling my runny nose.

    "Thank you, nan. I hope you're right."

    "I'm always right, grandma knows best." I laugh.

~~~

Tick tock

Tick tock

The clock ticks annoyingly in my ears. My leg bounces anxiously as I sit in the comfortable waiting room chairs. I stare into space, my heart beating annoyingly fast in my chest. Why was I so nervous? Was it all the stares I was getting from the other expectant mothers? Maybe. Everyone else in the waiting room stare at me in disgust, like I'm gum stuck on the bottom of their shoe. All the other girls seem to be much older and married, while I'm sitting here, sixteen and ringless. Not that I wanted to get married right now. Hell no. I may be having a baby at sixteen, but marriage is not something I want for a long time. I hate how some people think that just because two people are having a baby, means they have to get married. That's just stupid. I admire the women who are single mothers, always have.

What am I even saying? I'm just word vomiting in my own head.

I sigh, leaning back in the chair. I look down at the small bump growing. I took off James's sweatshirt since there was no point in hiding it anymore. I'm wearing a white white that used to be very loose on me, but now it hugs my stomach. I run my hand over my bump, hoping everything is alright in there. Is it dumb to already feel so much love to something that hasn't even been born yet? I haven't even met my baby and I already have so much love for him or her.