White Gold *Completed*

Standing Still

LONDON

Pongo, now tall enough that his head nearly reach my hip, jogged along beside me, ears up and eyes watching as we drew closer to home. I tugged on his leather leash to get him to stop while I checked the mail, giving him the newspaper to carry up the steps and into the house.

Once inside, I shuffled through the papers until coming across the one that made me smile.

I slid my finger under the thick, ivory colored envelope and pulled out the card stock to reveal the formal invite to my sister's wedding, set for six months time. I grinned; Kailea and Mark had been engaged for over two years now and not many people thought it would ever actually happen.

"Well well well, Pongo, your aunt is finally tying the knot." I said with a grin. "Looks you're going to have to get a tux, little dude."

Wine glass in hand, I grabbed some papers from work and sat down on the couch, spreading everything across the dark lacquered wood, while Pongo chewed happily on his stuffed bear toy.

The silence was making my ears ring, so I got up to turn on my stereo, shuffling through my collection of CDs until I came upon the one I hadn't heard all the way through. I bit my lip and tapped the CD that had my name on it. I guess there was nothing to lose.

I popped the CD in and hit play, skipping past the songs I'd already heard on it. A soft, sad piano tune came on.

"These four lonely walls have changed the way I feel

The way I feel

I'm standing still...

And nothing else matters now, you're not here

So where are you?

I've been calling you, I'm missing you

Where else can I go? Where else can I go?

Chasing you, chasing you.

Memories turn to dust, please don't bury us

I got you, I got you..."

I wandered back to the couch but couldn't focus on my work again. Why did I insist on torturing myself like this? Never had I considered that, if and when I found Adam, he may not want to even get back together. So what if the time came and everything I'd risked and all the time I'd spent fighting for him back was all for nothing?

I shook myself from the depressing thoughts and forced myself to return to my papers, doing it on autopilot and only half hearing the songs that came on.

The next morning I was called in early to Brock's office. Obviously, I was nervous and the walk down the hall felt like I was walking to my death sentence, but he sounded cheery enough when I knocked on his door.

"Please, sit." He said, motioning to the black leather chair across from his desk. I sat, smoothing my skirt under me as I did.

"We'd like for you to join our designers on their annual showcase." Brock said with a smile. "You've done this before and many of them haven't, so maybe help them out and see who deals under pressure well and who doesn't."

I crossed my ankles. "I'd love to."

"Splendid. We have two groups this year, one going to Sydney and the other to Moscow, passing through Helsinki for some of their winter designs. I'd like it if you would accompany them."

I wanted to scream, hit something. Of fucking course it would be Finland. Granted, they were a very fashionable country, especially for winter and athletic gear.

"Um, with all due respect, sir, I would much rather go to Australia."

Brock's brows furrowed. "We could really use you in Helsinki and Moscow, Miss Barrow."

My chest tightened. "I understand. I really know nothing about the kind of things they're styling over there, however."

"A perfect learning opportunity then."

I bit my tongue. "Sir, I'd be useless. I must insist you send me to Sydney, I'd be much better suited there."

Please God please please please please..

Brock folded his hands and contemplated my request for a moment. "Alright...I'll send you to Sydney. But I must tell you that next time I may not be able to just let it pass."

I inclined my head. "I understand, sir. Thank you. You won't be disappointed."

"See to it I'm not." He said sternly. "You'll be leaving in a week. I'll send more information to Adelaide."

I left his office and exhaled in relief: bullet narrowly dodged.

Back in my office I told Adelaide about my trip and she quickly began talking about places to go and visit.

"Wait up," I interrupted her. "Is that a hickey on your neck?"

She blushed and touched the mark on her skin. "Um, maybe-"

I whistled and we laughed before she shook her head. "Anywhore."

"Anywhore?"

She laughed. "I know I know. Lauren invited us to a party tomorrow night at her place, you game?"

I rifled through the papers on my desk, trying to find a note about the Fall line. "Uh, sure. When?"

"Nine. We can stay the night too, if it goes late."

"I'm working Sunday," I reminded her.

"Hey, weekends are not for working." Adelaide complained.

"I agree, but it's life, and I want to stay on Brock's good side and not ditch."

"What if you meet someone and stay the night?"

I cringed. "Then I won't meet anyone. It won't be hard."

Adelaide caught my arm and pulled me around. "Nix, have some fun. What are you afraid of?"

Falling in love. I thought to myself.

"Adelaide, I literally just got out of a relationship with this guy right before I got here. And before that-" I swallowed.

"It doesn't have to end up being something. Just fun." She said.

I patted her shoulder. "I'll pass on the fun. There'll be free booze though, right?"

Adelaide grinned. "Naturally."