White Gold *Completed*

Never Enough, Never Enough

He didn't reply. 

Two days, and he didn't reply. I sat staring at the little "read" button, waiting for it to turn blue but it never did. What had I been expecting though, really? He could have lost his phone, gotten a new one, new number. He was constantly having to change it if rumor had it his number was leaked.

Or maybe he was just ignoring me and had moved on. Part of me hoped that was the truth but an awfully big part of me also hoped that wasn't the case.

I stowed my phone away and dropped my head back on the couch cushions. I should be at the gym, planning my week of healthy meals, working on perfecting my makeup routine, getting a tan (yeah right.) Everything to make me look better on the cover of a magazine, but I wasn't. I was pining over my ex the way I promised to myself I never would.

But that was normal, right? I was only having a moment of weakness...I was already dating someone for God's sake! I would never cheat on Ryan, and trying to get in contact with Adam was a step too close to that line.

I deleted the message and tossed my phone aside, instead losing myself in the softness of Pongo's short fur and listening to him snoring quietly.

I had a boyfriend (we'd made it official casually,) a puppy, an amazing career and apartment, a great car, a college education, and a decent savings.

So why wasn't that enough?

"Nix, you seem distracted. Is everything okay?" Ryan asked, brushing back my hair. I feigned a smile and nodded. "Yeah, of course. I'm just tired."

"I bet.You've been working really hard lately. You're doing great."

"Thanks, babe." I turned away and refocused my attention back onto the prop umbrella I'd been given, my mind wandering as I watched Ryan set up his gear for our shoot.

He was so good for me and I liked him so, so much...why couldn't I get it through my head that Adam wasn't right for me?

I tapped my pen against my lips, forcing myself to listen to the going-ons around me.

"...six months in London, with frequent stops in Paris and possibly Milan. Miss Barrow?"

"Yes, sir?" I asked my boss Mr. Danvers, sitting up straighter.

"We meed a co-manager for our store in London, with the possibility of future head manager. Is this something you would consider?"

Oh my God, move to London?!

"Oh, um, perhaps, sir." I stuttered, in shock.

"I know you have not only a stable position here but a part-time modeling career as well. There may be a chance for you to continue this overseas."

Not to mention I have a boyfriend, an apartment, a big dog, and am secretly trying to track down my ex.

"Right. I'll certainly keep it in mind, sir. Thank you."

"Great! Try to let me know within a week, if you could." Danvers smiled and went back to his papers, while I scribbled a note about the promotion. It was a huge, once in a lifetime chance, especially if it was all expenses paid, but...I wasn't sure if I wanted it right then.

"I'm just suggesting an edit. The print isn't in style right now," I said, my temper growing. I clutched the stack of design notes and sketches to my chest.

"There's no point in wasting everyone's time and efforts and money on something that may not sell. Westwood is past the point of needing to take chances."

"Well you would know, wouldn't you?" Kayla whispered under her breath.

"What the hell is that supposed to mean?"

The blonde stood and crossed her arms, one bony hip jutting out to the side.

"You don't even do hardly anything around here yet promotions are thrown at you. Just because you were almost famous for, like, a month, doesn't mean shit."

I lost it. "You know what? I work damn hard for everything I have, Kayla. I get promotions because I've shown that I can handle the work like an adult. I was never famous, and that didn't get me the job."

"Do they know you're fucking your photographer?"

"Ha! Seriously? That's all you've got? Listen," I stepped closer. "I've had enough of your half-ass work. Frankly, I'm not sure how you got hired here, but I can tell you one thing," I held up the pages of drawings she'd submitted. "This trash is never making it to post." And I shredded them right before her eyes.

Kayla gasped and covered her mouth. "I can't believe you did that!"

"Then learn to fucking pay attention when we say what's popular and I wouldn't have to. Come back to me when you have something that doesn't look like an outfit Zoolander threw up on." I dropped the rest of the papers on her desk. "And send those to Jaden for Italy. And I swear to God if they don't get there by this afternoon, you're outta here."

I turned on my heel and sauntered from her office, heart pounding. I had never spoken to a coworker like that before and it rattled me that I even had it in me. But honestly, what was she thinking? Pleated zebra striped mini-skirts? This wasn't Wal-Mart!

That night I brought Pongo to the park and let him splash around in the various water fountains, smiling to myself as he stuck his head under the clear, cool water, searching for fish that weren't there. How would he deal with all the traveling to get to another country? He had his own doggie friends, not to mention he loved Lisa...

I sighed and took out my cell phone, dialing Ryan. He answered within four rings, and I told him I wanted to talk about something.

"Okay," He said brightly, though it sounded forced, as if he knew the topic wasn't going to be an optimistic one. "I was going to ask you if you wanted to go to Coney Island tonight? To the fair?"

"Sure, why not." I replied, forcing a smile onto my face and hoping he could hear it.

"Awesome. I'll pick you up at 7."

We hung up and I continued to wander around Central Park with Pongo until it was time to get ready for my date.

(You guys I'm back! Thank the writing gods! Sorry it's short and stupid, but I wanted to upload SOMETHING, and more will be coming :) Thank you all for the well wishes and support (and Aix fan art- you know who you are ',P

This chapter AKA Nix being a bad-ass-is leading to interesting stuff, I promise!

In the time I was gone some stuff happened:

I got my tongue web pierced (if you follow me on IG you know this), my brother got engaged (!!!!), and I dyed my hair blue. That's pretty much it.

Love you all!

~CG)