White Gold *Completed*

Just Adam.

It was time to go on the record because apparently my posts on social media about my hiatus wasn't concrete enough. It was the last and only public appearance I would make for a while.

In my moments of clarity I had spent time thinking this over but it was obvious what was going to happen. There was no music left in me. I didn't want to write it, I didn't want to sing, I didn't even want to listen to any of it. And that was how I knew it was time to disappear.

Everyone was begging me not to do it, that I was risking everything, how I had managed to carry on after Sauli, but they didn't know that that never really ended. I didn't have to get over him when I had no time to miss him.

I had opted for a radio announcement over a TV one; it just felt better and I didn't want hundreds of thousands of people watching me I started to cry. Though there was usually a camera in the room...maybe I could tell them not to record it. Unlikely, though. And once that was all done I was going away. I had no idea for how long or where exactly, but somewhere nobody could find me. I wasn't expecting my problems to go away then but at least I could waste away in my depression in quiet. I didn't want to be anybodies hero anymore. I just wasn't up to their standard any more and the last thing I wanted to do was lead Glamberts to think that all of this was okay. But I also didn't want them to know what happened between and Nix and I, if they hadn't figured that out already. They were sneaky little things.

The day dawned upon my confession and it was strangely cold outside. I managed to drag myself to the shower and actually put some effort in to my looks, but not too much. I kept my hair down and brushed to the side, and dressed all in black. Finding my old emo roots again, I guess. I even swiped on some eyeliner.

Ignoring the last minute pleas from my publicist and manager, I climbed into the car and took my sweet time arriving at the studio. I hope everyone was surprised that I actually could take care of myself without body-guards around me 24/7 as I strolled through the front doors. My ID was checked and I was left in the green room for a few minutes, which left me with nothing to do but mess around on Facebook and Twitter, where I gave everyone a last minute reminder that I was going on air. A few Glamberts had reposted something from Nix, and I debated whether or not I really wanted to read it.

In the end I did, and immediately regretted it.

'So excited to be graduating in just a few weeks and heading back home! I'm ready for all 4 seasons again!'

My hands went cold. She was leaving. She was actually leaving. This was all over. For good.

"Adam? They're ready for you." The receptionist smiled at me. I cleared my throat and stood up.

"Thanks."

Through a side door lead me to the main recording room where I was greeted warmly by the hosts, Jake and Sierra, and then took my seat.

"And as promised we are joined now by singer Adam Lambert who is still somewhat basking in the glow of the success of his third album, The Original High, as well as touring with the legendary rock band Queen. Adam, how are you?"

"I'm doing alright, Jake. Thank you for having me today." I gave a lame attempt at a smile, happy that there were no cameras today like I had requested.

"So, Adam, we understand that there's something you wanted to announce here today, is that right?"

"That is."

Obviously my short answers were something of an obstacle he hadn't anticipated.

Jake looked down at the stack of papers in front of him, as well as his Smartphone.