Garnet x self harm reader

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Today was a harder day than all others. My Girlfriend, Garnet caught me. I didn't know if she was freaked out or just having Pity on me. She tried to get me to not do it again but it's so hard! I mean it's like the knife calls my name and I don't know what to do. Do I go over? Do I ignore it? I'm a bit lost for what to do.
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I couldn't stop and I feel horrible I know She knows and I try but I can't. It's to hard for me. I decided to lock up all of the sharp objects, even the envelope opener and I gave to key to Garnet just to show how serious I was.
I'm still not sure if she was just trying to pity me or not. I would ask but that seems kind of rude.
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I'm starting to calm down a bit, I guess. I haven't touched any sort of sharp objects I even put away all the butter knives so how am I supposed to get butter? I feel so dumb but that's okay. It's for a better cause. Right? Or am I just a waste of space?
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Wow the end got dark sorry that took so long it's just I didn't have time for it but I decided to make it a bit darker than usual yet I hope you enjoyed it!

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