Hidden Feelings ( A Loki FanFiction )

Confession

It's now night time. I haven't seen Loki since this morning. Somehow, I had this ache in my heart for the whole day. I feel like I should tell Loki the truth. I hope that ache goes away. I hope he accepts me for who I am.

I walk to his glass prison. He wasn't asleep yet.

"Hello little Nox. So late, yet not asleep?" Loki asked with a grin.

That grin will be the death of me.

"Loki. I have something very important to tell you. " I said.

"Well, what is it? Tell me. Or are you afraid? " Loki said with a smirk.

Stupid little shit. I'm about to pour my heart out to him and here he is teasing me.

I took a deep breath and begin.

"Loki, I know we've only known each other for two days, but I realised that I have developed feelings for you. I have seen the pain and loneliness in you, and I wish to fill up that space. Loki, I-I-I think I love you." I finished that last part with a whisper. I hoped with all the broken pieces of my heart that Loki somehow loves me back too.

His smile faltered and turned into a thin line. "But I do not love you, peasant! I am a god! You are nothing to me, nothing more so than a toy in which to pass my time previously. Your love is worthless. Pitiful mortal!" Loki spat.

I knew it. I knew that it was stupid. There was no way anybody could love me. I was a fool, broken and pathetic, worthless and unwanted. I will fulfill my promise to Nick to help him in this battle, but I will make myself disappear from the face of this world when everything is over.

I was crying by now. Never have I cried so badly, not even when mother killed herself. Maybe it's because I knew that I was truly nothing and too worthless to love. An unwanted child. Trash.

I looked up at Loki through my teary eyes one last time to sear his face into my memory. His face was still filled with disgust for me.

I ran all the way back to my room. I slammed the door and slid down and cried.

"Er hey. What's happened to you?"

I looked up. Oh fuck. It's not my room.

" I-I'm sorry Tony. I'll leave immediately." I stood up to leave but Tony grabbed my hand.

"It's okay Nox. Care to tell me what happened?" Tony asked gently.

I dried my tears. "Got any booze?"

"Yeah I have some. Come and sit here." Tony gestured to his glass table and chairs.

I went to sit and he laid out some bottles of hard liquor.

" I figured you needed something strong" he said with a sad smile.

I grabbed a bottle, uncapped it and gulped the contents. It was finished in a few seconds. The the burning pain seared my throat and I coughed madly.

" Hey hey. Go easy on that. You'll get wasted very quickly." Tony warned.

"I'd like that. I'd like a moment where I can think about NOTHING. NOTHING AT ALL!" I yell.

I feel so woozy all of a sudden. But then the words that I didn't want to say suddenly spilled out. I told Tony about my childhood, about the abuse, about mother killing herself in front of me. I told him in graphic detail how I killed my father, his bitch and the bitch's daughter. I laughed maniacally when I was recalling those events. I told him about something I had kept locked up inside of me. The worse thing a man can do to a girl. It happened while I was wandering the streets years ago. The man took my purity and innocence away. With it, my conscience with killing as well. He was one of my motivations to become stronger. A few years later, I came looking for the man in revenge. I tortured him for days before finally ending his miserable life. I finally told Tony about me confessing to Loki.

" And, and, you know what? I actually thought he would accept me. Me, the broken, defiled, pathetic and unwanted girl. Silly of me to think so." I laughed sadly.

"Look girl. You are not pathetic and definately not unwanted." Tony said firmly. " Loki is just too stupid to appreciate you."

" Maybe" I said, before I find myself falling half asleep. I felt warm arms carrying me and put me on something soft. A blanket was pulled over me. Before I drifted off to sleep, I heard Tony mutter, "You poor poor girl."

Loki's pov :

My heart stopped when I heard her say she loved me. But I cannot tell her that I love her as well.

When I said to her those hurtful words, I didn't mean it at all. With every word I spoke, I felt my damaged heart break even more. I saw the tears that fell down her beautiful face. I wanted so much to reach out to her but I stopped myself. I gave her a look of disgust, when in actual fact, I am truly disgusted at my actions to her. When she ran off, my heart shattered.But my plan has to go on. It has to........