Love Me (Normani)

Chapter 56

"Well what are we gonna do with it?" Normani asked frantically. "Shh, keep it down. I'm pretty sure my parents wouldn't like the fact we have a gun in the house." Lauren hissed quietly. "Lo I'm fucking freaking out I can't help it!" "Don't freak out." "Yeah that totally worked, thanks. I'm so calm now." Normani said sarcastically. "We're gonna take it down to the police station and you're gonna tell them what happened." "Lauren no way, I can't do that." Normani said immediately. "Then just hand it in and tell them what happened with your Dad and that you don't want it in your house. They won't do anything to you." Lauren reassured her. "Are you sure?" "Positive babe." Normani sighed and put the gun in her bag. "Okay, let's go." "Where are you two going?" Mike asked Lauren and Normani curiously. Lauren visibly winced while Normani remained calm. "Out for a bit. We're getting coffee." "Okay, have fun girls." "Thanks Dad, see you later." Lauren said and they left the house. Lauren breathed a sigh of relief as they walked. "How did you just lie so easily?" Lauren asked. "Guess I've had plenty of practise." Normani shrugged. Lauren looked at the floor awkwardly. Normani wrapped an arm around her, pressing a kiss to her temple. "I wouldn't lie to you Lo, you know that." Lauren smiled slightly and nodded. "I know." "Anyway.." Normani changed the subject. "Yeah, let's get this over with." When the girls arrived at the police station, neither of them knew how to start off. "Can I help you girls?" "U-uhm, hi. My girlfriend's father shot himself and she..she has the gun but she doesn't want to like, be anywhere near it because it's just a reminder.." she trailed off, looking at Normani to see if she wanted to divulge into what happened with her mother, but a pleading look told her the answer was no. "We didn't know what to do with it, and we kinda wondered if you could take it?" "I see..well we can certainly take it off your hands. I'm sorry to hear about your loss Miss.." "Kordei-Hamilton." Normani mumbled. "Right. Well, if you give me the gun I'll take it for you." Normani took the gun out of the backpack and handed it to the woman with shaking hands. "Thank you." Lauren smiled gently, pulling her girlfriend into her side for comfort. "No problem, have a good day girls." Normani gave a shy smile and nodded before leaving the station with Lauren. "That was easy enough, you see? I told you it would be fine." Lauren nudged Normani who stayed silent. "What's wrong?" "It's stupid." Normani mumbled. "I'm sure it's not. Tell me." Normani sighed and looked at the floor as they walked. "I just..I know I didn't want the gun, and it did kinda freak me out to have it.." "But?" "But it was the last thing he touched..it was the last of him." Normani explained awkwardly. Lauren had to admit she could see where her girlfriend was coming from, kind of. "It's not..it's not stupid. Anything you feel isn't stupid babe, your emotions are valid, whatever they are." Lauren decided to be the best response. Normani shrugged and continued walking. "I want coffee, d'you mind if we go get some?" Lauren asked hesitantly. "Guess you could, we did use it as a cover up." Normani answered, a sadness to her fine. "Okay, come on." Lauren took the girl's hand and guided her over to the closest coffee shop. "Do you want anything?" Lauren asked. Do you want to get fat? "No." Normani shook her head. "Please try for me?" "I said no!" Normani shouted making the shop go silent and all eyes go to the skinny girl who had just shouted. Normani looked around and her eyes filled with tears of embarrassment. "Babe-" Lauren tried but Normani was running out before she could stop her. "Sorry, scratch that order. You guys are such assholes!" Lauren hissed at the nosy customers before chasing her girlfriend and trying to find her. "Mani!" She called out in the hopes of finding her. "It's Lauren! Where are you?!" Normani was in an alleyway nearby breathing heavily, taking a moment by herself to calm down. You're so pathetic. You fuck up. You messed up. All those people looking at you, how embarrassing. All of them could see how fat you are, you're the epitome of disgusting. Now everyone knows it. Normani vomited at the words spinning in her head, it was too much for her. Suddenly she heard rushed footsteps and felt someone hold her hair back for her. "I'm here baby." Lauren. Normani felt the girl rubbing circles on her back as she puked repeatedly. "Are you okay?" Normani coughed out the remaining vomit. "What do you think?" Lauren winced at her tone. "Do I look okay to you?!" Normani hissed before throwing up for the fourth time now. "I just want to help Mani, let me get you some water-" "No just," Normani coughed before she continued. "leave me alone." "I'm not gonna do that." Lauren said adamantly. "Lauren ple-" she threw up again, make that five times. She barely had anything to throw up but it seemed possible somehow. Normani was breathing heavily, beads of sweat on her face and the back of her neck. "You feel better?" Normani nodded hesitantly. "Come on then, I'm taking you home." Lauren wrapped an arm around her waist but Normani moved away. She didn't want to be held, she wanted to be left alone, if Lauren hadn't got that yet. When they got inside, everyone else had gone out, a note on the fridge said they'd be home late and not to wait up for them. Normani headed upstairs to the bedroom and sighed deeply. She thought she finally had some alone time, but then Lauren came in. She couldn't really blame her though, it was her room after all. "How you feelin' Mans?" Normani let out a small groan in response. "Can I do anything?" "Yeah, leave me be." Normani said simply. Lauren looked down at the floor and turned around to get her songbook out. "Fine, let me know if you need me." You don't need her. You need me. Normani rolled her eyes and turned over to try and get some sleep. Lauren on the other hand, jotted down some notes in her book and tried to put a song together. "It's torture here in this space between, as you are loving and leaving me." "Your heart is too afraid to want more, of the pain you're left to touch. You only win if you don't give up, cause love is war and war is love." "Tryna give up on perfect, in your battle of one. Trying to believe you're worth it. When every piece of you wants to run. So now that you're caught in this space between. And you're the only enemy." Lauren turned around when she heard her name being spoken gently. "What's up?" "I'm sorry." Normani mumbled guiltily. "For pushing you away, I'm sorry." She clarified. Lauren smiled sadly and nodded for her to come over. Normani got up and padded over, Lauren pulled her into her lap and kissed her temple. "It's fine babe. I get that it's hard for you." Normani let out a tired sigh and leant her head against her chest. "You've been writing?" "Mhm." Lauren said before closing the book. The unfinished song was about Normani, and she didn't think it was a good idea for her to see it. "You look thoughtful." Normani noticed when she looked up at Lauren. "Hm?" Lauren looked down and plastered a smile on her face. "I'm fine." "Are you sure?" Lauren nodded and closed her eyes, resting her head against Normani's. "I love you. I'm really sorry I act like an asshole most of the time." Normani said nervously. "I know you don't mean to." Lauren said sleepily. She hesitated. Normani tensed when she didn't return the statement. "I love you Lo, I really really do." Lauren smiled and tightened her hold on the girl. "I love you more babygirl." She's lying.