Love Me (Normani)

Chapter 19

"I'm feeling pizza." Lauren smiled as she looked around the various food places. "Don't suppose you'd want anything?" Normani shook her head fast and surely. Not a chance. Lauren knew she would object, but she thought she might as well try. "I feel sick." Normani said, on the verge of tears. "I can't do much about that Mans, I'm sorry babe." Lauren said apologetically. Normani accepted the arm around her waist pulling her into a hug as they walked. I'm sorry too. "It hurts." Normani whispered, but she didn't know if Lauren had heard her. It didn't seem as though she had. "I'll get you some water, maybe if you sip that it might help." Lauren offered, slipping into a close by newsagent and grabbing a bottle for the skinny girl. But God knew Normani didn't need water, she needed food. Lauren came back out of the store, twisted the cap and handed the girl the bottle of water. Normani took a few swigs of the cold drink and gave the water back to Lauren. When the two girls entered the restaurant it was uncomfortable. "Can we order to go? I feel like people are staring at me." Lauren nodded and gave a sad smile. It was true. People were staring. "Camila was going to come and see us-oh, speak of the devil." "Yikes. What did I miss?" Camila teased with a smile. "Normani doesn't feel so good. She doesn't want to stay out." "Right, you wanted to talk to me." Camila remembered, referring to Normani. "Yeah, Mani can you wait for our order while I talk to Camila?" "Uh, sure." Normani smiled, taking a sip of her water awkwardly. Camila tugged on Lauren's arm and moved them to stand outside of the restaurant. "You told me before the whole Austin shit went down that there was something wrong with Normani. What did you mean?" "She's sick, Camz." Lauren said shakily. "Sick? Sick how? I-Is it bad?" Camila asked worriedly. "Normani's got an eating disorder, and it's bad Camila." Camila felt tears come to her eyes. "How didn't I see it?" "I didn't either. No one did." "Oh God." "Camz I need your help. I've been trying to help her myself and it's so draining. I need help, she needs your support, our support." Camila brought the girl into a tight hug and and kissed her cheek. "I'm really sorry Lauren, I've been such a bitch." "It's okay, it's over now but I just need help helping her." Lauren explained, pulling away from the hug. Normani came outside with the pizza looking unsettled. Lauren took them quickly and as soon as her arms were free Camila pulled Normani into a tight hug. Normani froze for a second and met Lauren's worried and half apologetic green eyes. She knew. Normani sighed and hugged the girl back. "I'm so sorry!" Oh god. "I'm so fucking sorry." "Mila, please don't." The girl begged. "She's right, not here Camz." Lauren pulled on the girl's arm and Camila sniffled and reluctantly let go. At least she cares. Ha. Of course she doesn't. It's all fake. Everything's fake. No one cares. "Mani come on." Lauren pulled the girl out of her head. "Oh, yeah, coming." Normani mumbled under her breath hesitantly, following behind her two friends. Camila took the girl's hand and gave her a sad smile, but it was genuine, not pitying. "I'm so sorry." "Camila." Lauren started, but the Cuban carried on. "I ignored the signs, I ignored you. I should've been there for you when you needed me. For the most stupid reason I thought my first boyfriend was more important than my best friends. I messed up." "You didn't know." Normani said softly. "Neither of you did." "Can you forgive me?" Camila asked worriedly. "Mila.." Normani pulled the girl into a hug. "You weren't to know, okay, it's not your fault. We both know you're a hopeless romantic." "But I fucked up." Camila scoffed, on the edge of tears from guilt. "Your lack of judgement doesn't make you a bad person." Lauren reassured her. "Lessons like this give us reality checks. Austin was your first relationship, and we both see it was important to you, he was, but he was also a reality check." "You need to forgive yourself too Camila." Normani said with a soft smile. "I'm not mad at you for not picking up on it. In a sick way I'm kinda glad, but that's just, well it's complicated." Lauren took a deep breath at her words and leant her head on her shoulder, Normani wrapping an arm around her waist as she spoke to the girl stood in front of her. "How long have you been going through this?" "I don't know specifically..but I know it's been months." Normani said guiltily. "Probably since the dance show." Lauren told Camila thoughtfully. "So, what do we do? How do we help?" Normani shifted on her feet. Good question. Did she even want help? Of course you don't. You're happy. This is your life now. You're stuck with it. This is what you want, you don't want help, you don't need help. You're not sick. But Normani couldn't say that. "Uhm," Lauren looked up at the girl curiously. She'd like to know too. "I mean, I'm really okay." Lauren couldn't help but scoff and Camila bit her bottom lip. "You're not okay Normani." Camila said in disbelief. "If you could see what we can see looking at you, if it was one of us in your position right now you'd be horrified, and scared." Lauren said. "I don't know what I'm supposed to say to you guys, I'm not even sick. I'm fine as I am, I'm okay with this." "Okay well you might be okay with it, but from our point of view, from anyone else's point of view it's not healthy." Camila crossed her arms. "You are sick. I don't know whether you won't admit it or you don't know it or you just can't come to terms with it yet. But you're definitely sick Normani. You're anorexic. Sooner or later you'll realise that, I hope." Lauren said. "Stop saying that fucking word!" Normani shouted, running her hands through her hair in a panic. "Normani." Camila tried to reach out. "No! Don't touch me!" Camila quickly retracted her hand and looked at Lauren in fear. "You don't know anything! Neither of you know a single damn thing about it. About me." "But Mani this isn't you!" Lauren insisted. "Just, oh God both of you go away, just stay away from me!" Normani stormed off. "Normani wait!" Lauren shouted. "What now?" Camila's voice wavered as she spoke to Lauren. "Uh.." Lauren's voice shook too, she was panicking just as much as Camila. Hell, Normani was probably panicking too. "She's in a bad way Lauren what if something happens to her?" "I don't know!" Lauren ran her hand through her hair nervously. "Camila I'm really fucking scared right now." Lauren whimpered. Camila brought the girl into a tight hug and took some shaky breaths. "Me too."