Love Me (Normani)

Chapter 44

Family Dinner for Lauren was nothing short of awkward, even more awkward than Normani. "So, Lauren. How was your day?" Clara spoke up, trying to make conversation. "It was pretty good, thanks, what about you?" Lauren asked her mother. "Your father and I went on a lunch date, didn't we dear?" Mike looked at Clara and smiled. "Yes honey." Lauren decided it was the time to try and talk to her father, now or never. "Yeah? Where'd you go then Dad?" Mike didn't look at his daughter, but Clara sent him a stern look and Lauren heard her whisper. "She's your daughter." "Over to Carluccios." He muttered begrudgingly. "Oh cool, was it nice?" Lauren asked, trying to keep up a conversation. This was the most she'd gotten in days. "Lovely." He muttered. Lauren heard Taylor snicker at how the interaction was going, she didn't blame her much, it was awkward as hell. "Can't you at least look at me?" Lauren asked her father, her voice shaking. Normani put a hand on her knee under the table and squeezed it supportively. "I don't want to look at such a disgusting freak of nature." He grumbled. Lauren felt tears spilling down her face. "I can't-I can't do this." Lauren stood up from her chair and ran straight to her bedroom. "Lauren!" Normani called after her sadly. "Sorry Clara, thank you for dinner." She didn't eat a thing. "Uh, sure.." Clara said as she eyed the full plate while Normani followed her daughter upstairs. Normani tried to open the door, but it was locked. "Lauren!" Normani tried to jiggle the door knob. "Babe open the door!" Lauren was sat on her bed in tears, head in her hands curled into a ball. She knew what she was about to do, she was dying to do it. But with Normani calling her name desperately on the other side of the door it was hard to think. "Please Lauren don't do anything stupid!" She planned to have opened the door, but Lauren found herself in the bathroom with a razor in her hand, her arms dripping down with blood. "Fuck." She whispered with tears in her eyes. Normani had picked the lock with a hairpin she found on the floor finally and rushed into the room. When Lauren wasn't in sight, she could guess where she was immediately. Lauren saw her girlfriend enter the bathroom and felt her pull her into her lap as she cried. "I'm sorry." She croaked. "Shh it's okay, I get it." Normani whispered as she held the girl close and kissed her forehead. "He just..how could he say that to me?" She cried. "I don't know baby..maybe he's just scared." Lauren nestled her head into Normani's neck and left her arms out to bleed. Normani's eyes fell to the split skin and saw the words DISGUSTING written on one arm and FREAK on the other. She wanted to drag her father into the bathroom and show him exactly what he did to Lauren, but she couldn't. "You aren't what he said you were, you're gorgeous, you're beautiful, you're special and you're my baby girl, I don't like seeing you hurt like this." Normani mumbled gently, stroking Lauren's hair. "Don't leave me." Lauren whimpered, meeting her eyes with a pleading look. "I'm not gonna leave you, I'd never do that." Normani said surely, holding her chin so she'd stay in that position. "I think I preferred it when he ignored me." Lauren sniffled. "At least he didn't say such spiteful words." Normani kissed the top of her forehead and then wiped her cheeks free of tears. "Let's get you cleaned up." Lauren watched Normani as she cleaned her arms. Her arms stung from pain and antiseptic, but she focused on the pure love in Normani's eyes when she looked up and softly smiled at her, and the pain disappeared. "There, all done. You can get up now." Lauren looked down at her bandaged forearms. "Thanks Mani." She mumbled, feeling undeniably guilty. Normani took her hand and intertwined their fingers, leading her out to Lauren's bedroom. "Can we cuddle?" Lauren asked in such a timid voice Normani's heard melted. "Sure, c'mere." The dark skinned girl got into the bed first and Lauren followed suit nestling her head in her girlfriend's neck. "You didn't eat at dinner." Lauren mumbled, she felt Normani's neck tense up. "Why not?" "I just wasn't hungry." Normani mumbled. "It's okay, I know the whole incident with your Dad threw things out of whack. I understand that. But don't..just try for me." Lauren sighed, moving her head out of Normani's neck so she was looking at her. "My nonexistent appetite is even more nonexistent if that's possible. I can't. And it yells at me, it's hard to think, to even breathe sometimes. You don't know what that's like." Normani whispered. Lauren sighed and leaned in to kiss the girl, Normani immediately reciprocated and they both had a small smile on their face when the kiss ended. "I just want you to be happy." "You make me happy." Normani said pointedly. "I'm glad, but I mean I want you to get well again.." "I'm trying." Lauren brought her hand up to stroke Normani's right cheek, making the girl's eyes flutter shut at the gentle touch. "I know." "Do they hurt babe?" Normani asked after a silence. Lauren looked over at her from her songbook. "A little bit." Normani sat up and kissed Lauren's cheek, making Lauren smile. "Are you okay?" "I'm fine, this is a great outlet for me." Lauren said, referring to writing songs. "Are you?" Normani shrugged. "Hungry. But I can't eat." Lauren put down her pen and took her girlfriend's hands in her own. "Can I make you something small?" "Like what?" "A fruit salad? It's so good, I made myself one for breakfast one time and it made me wonder why I never had one before." Normani giggled at how excited Lauren looked. "Uh, sure. Can I help?" Lauren was shocked but nodded. "Sure." This way you can see what you're eating, and serve yourself as little as possible. "I think the kitchen is free." Lauren said as she got up and went to the door. "Lauren wait!" Normani said hurriedly, stopping her in her tracks. "What?" Lauren asked in confusion. Normani pulled out one of her cardigans and pulled it over Lauren. "You didn't want them to see, right?" Lauren nodded and pulled the clothing around herself. "Thanks." "It's fine, and just for the record, you look cute in my clothes too." Normani winked, going ahead of her girlfriend to the kitchen.