Love Me (Normani)

Chapter 20

Normani didn't know where she was going, she had left Camila and Lauren way back. She didn't know how long it had been, she didn't know if they were searching for her. She didn't even know if she wanted to be found. She didn't think so. But then she didn't really have any rational thoughts these days. You're better off alone. No one really gives a shit. Camila doesn't, she was so engrossed in her precious boyfriend she was lucky enough to forget about her worthless fuck up of a friend. Dare she even define you as that. "Shut up. She is my friend. Of course she cares about me." Normani tried to fight back but it was always stronger, every time. And Lauren doesn't really care, she tried, sure, but she's not come for you has she? "Not yet." Normani mumbled hesitantly. Maybe she should go back, maybe she should find her friends. Why bother? Lauren has given up on you, just like your mother. Well, that was true. Her mother obviously didn't care, she didn't understand, no one did. Your mother doesn't care about you. She lied to you. "Lauren does care. She definitely cares. She's done too much for me not to care." Normani reasoned. It's a lieeee. The voice in her head taunted. Normani was reduced to tears, curling up in a ball crying to herself. "Normani! Camila look she's over here!" Normani could hear Lauren shout out in what sounded like relief, but maybe that was just what she wanted to believe. Lauren slid down next to Normani so fast that she had probably scraped her knees through her leggings, but that didn't matter. What mattered was her best friend crying her eyes out in a horrible state. Lauren picked the girl up and she shouldn't have been, but was surprised at how unbelievably light she was. She felt Normani give in and wrap her arms around her neck, crying into her chest. "Lauren where's your car??" Camila asked hurriedly. "Fuck I didn't bring it." Lauren exclaimed, cursing herself for not predicting this situation. But how could she? "Can you carry her home?" "Yes, easily. Camz she's so light I could probably carry her for miles." Lauren said with worry in her voice. Camila hurried to keep up and came to their side, gently moving the hair out of Normani's face that was sticking to her cheeks, her tears acting as a light glue. "Mani are you alright?" Normani whimpered and shook her head into Lauren's chest. Of course she wasn't alright. None of this was alright. Not really. She was scared, this wasn't who she was, Lauren was right. She missed her old self immensely, she wanted the old Normani back. "We can take her to my place, no ones home." Camila said to Lauren. "Okay." Normani didn't seem to get a say, but she didn't care what happened at this point. She had no strength to object. She was too weak and tired. When they got to Camila's her parents' car was gone, the driveway was empty and Camila said something about her little sister sleeping over at a friend's house. "Open the door Camila she's burning up!" "I'm trying the key is stuck!" Camila shouted back just as frantically. The door opened and Camila literally kicked it so it would open faster and moved aside. Lauren went in first, carrying Normani in and putting her on the couch while Camila went through to the kitchen to get a cold flannel for her. Camila gave Lauren the cold wet flannel since she had Normani's legs on her lap so she could keep a close eye on her. "How's she doing?" Camila asked nervously as she sat on the floor, cross legged and resisting the urge to bite her nails. "She's asleep." Lauren mumbled, putting the flannel on her forehead. "Should we call her Mom?" "No. No, her Mom's being hard on her about it. She's going about it the wrong way." "Well what's the right way?" Camila said. "Not the way she's doing it. She tried to make her eat a high calorie meal as if it was the easiest thing in the world." "That's fucked up." Camila shook her head. "Her Dad then." "He doesn't know." "Well shouldn't he?" Camila exclaimed quietly so she didn't wake her friend. "Yes but it's not our place to say." Lauren sighed. "She can't go through this alone." "She's not alone Camila, she's got us." "But Lauren what if we're not enough?" Camila said, she had a point. Lauren knew Camila had a point. But she wanted to be able to say she did her best, she tried her hardest. She'd promised Normani, and herself. "We don't know what's gonna happen. But we have to try. That's what friends do." Lauren said determinedly. "She's so deep in her sleep, look at her Laur." Camila observed. "She's exhausted." Lauren agreed. "When was the last time she properly ate?" Camila asked curiously. There was a pause. "Lauren." "Mm?" "Did you hear my question?" "Yeah Camz I did, I just..don't know." "Really?" Camila asked quietly. "I don't think I've seen her eat anything substantial in maybe two weeks." "Shit." "I know." Lauren sighed, rubbing her eyes tiredly. "Why don't you get some rest too Lolo?" "Are you sure?" "My parents won't be back for ages and I know they won't mind if you guys stay the night." "What about Mani though?" "I'll watch her, don't worry." Camila reassured, taking Lauren's hand and squeezing it. "Lauren you're not on your own with her anymore. We're all in this together." Lauren let out a sigh and nodded. "Okay. Thank you Camz." "No problem, get some sleep yourself. We're in no rush." Camila smiled softly, releasing Lauren's hand and getting a blanket for the two girls. Lauren had her head resting on her arm, laid on the arm rest while Normani remained as she was, legs on Lauren's lap. Camila sat back down crossed legged on the floor, watching them both. But mostly Normani. She felt incredibly guilty for not noticing, or trying to prevent the issue from happening. She didn't know what an eating disorder was like at all, but she imagined Normani was going through a lot in her head. Camila saw the dark skinned girl's palm upturned and traced patterns on it with her first finger delicately. She loved the girl to death. She prayed it didn't get that far. Normani didn't deserve this. She didn't deserve any of it. Normani was such a pure and lovely person. As if the girl knew Camila was thinking about her, she subconsciously clenched her hand around Camila's. Camila simply smiled and squeezed it. "I love you Manibear. And Lauren and I will do everything we can to help you get better, we promise." She said, stroking some hair out of the way so she could see her face. Her sad, exhausted, sunken in face. Normani truly felt exhausted, she could sleep for days, honestly. Lauren was dead to the world too. It was so tiring looking after her best friend, but she didn't regret a single moment with her. No time with Normani was ever wasted, no matter what the outcome. Little by little, right? Camila heard the sound of a car coming into the drive and lifted her head up to see out the window. The car headlights shone brightly in the black darkness of the night. She figured that a lot of time must have passed by while the two girls slept and she thought about everything that had been going on. The front door unlocked and her mother walked in. "Camila? Are you-" "Shh!" Camila shushed her mother quickly. Her Mom came in to see the three girls, two on the couch asleep, one on the floor with their eyes connected. "Can I talk to you in the kitchen mija?" Camila frowned with concern and hesitance, Normani was still holding her hand tightly, and she didn't want to let go. Just in case. She wanted Normani to know she was here, awake or asleep. "Can we do this later?" She whispered hesitantly. Her mother's eyes went from her daughter to her two sleeping friends, then Camila and Normani's tightly connected hands. "Please." Camila pleaded. "Are they staying over?" Her mother settled on saying. "If you don't mind. Normani needs me, Lauren too." "Alright. Just don't wake your father up, he had a long day today." "Are you going to bed as well?" Camila asked quietly. "Not yet. I'll be in the kitchen if you need me." "Thanks Mami." "Okay. I'll come in to check on you all before I go up." Camila nodded simply and let her eyes follow her mother out of the room before she looked back at the two girls. One was sleeping, the other had woken up. Lauren was now awake and looking at Camila in the darkness. "Hi." Camila whispered. "Hey." "You're both staying the night, so don't worry about getting home." "Cool. I'll text my mom. Can you hand me my phone?" Camila looked around for it before successfully finding it on the floor and handing it to Lauren, with her one free hand. "How's Mani?" Camila carefully held up their linked hands and shrugged. "She's still sleeping, my mom wanted to talk to me but I didn't wanna let go." "But what if it was important Camila?" Lauren argued quietly. "Fuck it. This is important. Normani is important. More important than anything my Mom would have to say." "You're a good friend Camz." "Am I?" Camila asked, genuinely concerned she wasn't. "Yes, of course you are. You're doing your best, like me. That's all we can do, that's all anyone can do." Lauren whispered. "Should we take her up to my room?" Camila asked. "I'll take her, you go talk to your Mom, find out what she wants." Lauren said, gently scooping her friend up and standing up, slightly unsteadily having just woken up herself. The soft blanket slid off her lap/Normani's legs and onto the floor. Normani's hand let go of Camila's as it dangled down while Lauren carried her in her arms. "Please be careful. The stairs are steep and it's dark." "I'll manage, don't worry. Just go see what Sinu wants." Lauren said as she skilfully dodged various pieces of furniture in the room with little to no light guiding her. Camila sighed and made her way after Lauren out the room, instead heading to the lit kitchen. The drastic change of light made her sensitive brown eyes squint automatically and brought her arm up to shield her face from it. "Where are your friends?" "In my room. What did you want to talk about?" Camila asked, taking a seat beside her at the kitchen table. This unscheduled talk with her mother felt strangely intimidating, this was odd to her seeing as their bond was pretty close. Yes, Sinu could be a strict parent, but still warm and very loving. Camila both loved and looked up to her mother, she was a strong person and a vital role model in her life. "Well, I'd think it's pretty obvious." "Mom please just tell me, I'm tired, I can't guess this late." "Why your friends are still here at nearly midnight Camila. That's what I'm admittedly confused about. I was never told they were coming over, let alone spending the night." "Normani needs her friends. I've been neglecting her lately and she needs my help right now." "What's going on with her then?" "It's not my place to say Mom, not at this stage just please," Camila said as she got up from her chair, the wooden legs lightly scraping across the black and white checkered tiled floor. "you have to trust me." "I do trust you mija." Her mother said, putting a hand on her arm. "Just give me a little warning next time, if you can." "I will do. Goodnight Mama." "Goodnight sweetheart. Sleep well." "You too." Camila suppressed a yawn before she made her way up the stairs, almost accidentally treading on her cat, Marmalade's tail. If she had, then the whole house would have been woken up from a loud horrific screech. She opened the door to her bedroom to see Lauren curled up alone against the wooden headboard, all while Normani slept soundly next to her. "Lo?" Camila whispered as she approached her bed and climbed in next to her. It was lucky she had a king sized bed. Don't judge, so what if she liked to spread out in the night. No one ever complained when they slept in it. Not like that. "Hey are you okay?" Lauren lifted her head up to reveal tear stained cheeks. There was just the right amount of dreamy moonlight coming in from the window to dimly light the room up. Not enough to wake anyone up or to prevent them from sleeping, but enough for someone to see around the room. Camila wrapped an arm around Lauren's back and pulled her into the side of her body to comfort her. She read her mind, hell she was thinking of, or rather worrying about the same thing. "She'll be okay." Lauren sniffled and nodded. Though both of them knew it was all a bit up in the air. No one really knew what would happen. Anorexia was a tricky disease. Camila peered down to get a better look at her face and frowned at Lauren's sad eyes connecting with her own. Camila slowly and sweetly brought her hand up and wiped the saddened green eyed girl's cheeks free of tears. "Don't cry.." "Don't act like you don't want to, too." Lauren replied, her voice thick from her tears that were still spilling down. Camila sighed and bit down on her trembling bottom lip. Of course she wanted to cry too. The trio had always been so close, so this situation and the fact it was so severe and neither Lauren or Camila knew was heartbreaking. Both Cubans sat against the headboard holding each other as they cried for their friend, who they both didn't know could hear them. Who was beating herself up for hurting her best friends. Who wanted nothing more than to stop doing this to them, but she couldn't. It was beyond Normani's control now. Even if she wanted to stop, which was still debatable, it was truly impossible. Normani listened to the small, quiet, unavoidable sobs emanating from their lips, wishing everything was different. She desperately wanted to tell them it would be alright, that everything would turn out okay, that she would be okay. But truth be told, Normani didn't know if that would happen. She was petrified at this point, and her tearful best friends were too.