Eucatastrophe ~ h.s.

✗ twelve ✗

SHAY

12 May

"Home sweet home." I breathe out, stepping through the threshold of Harry's home with him in tote. Though everything in my life changed, I'm glad that this is constant. His home is a constant. I came here before everything happened and I'm still coming here during. I can't say what the future is to hold, but I can only assume this house will still play a role.

Harry has been oddly quiet since I woke up this morning. The doctors said I could go home last night, but thought it'd be best to keep me overnight, just to make sure that I was truly okay. I know they aren't saying it aloud but they want to check my mental health. I don't know why doctors just don't say that flat out, they'd get a lot farther in life if you ask me.

As for my mental health you ask? Well, it never really repaired since the first shock of my story and it's only continuing to get worse. My mind will be fine one day, but far from grand the next. I'm always in a state of depression, some days worse than others. Today has been a relatively good day. Yes, I still have the lingering issue of pregnancy that keep creeping it's way into my mind, making me feel ill, but even that isn't bothering me too much. I can't explain it.

But back to Harry... since the moment I opened my eyes to the sun shining in through the curtains in my room Harry has been incredibly distant.

When asked a question he'd answer just like normal, but when it comes to those times in between, he says nothing. I know it has to do with the news that was so horribly thrust upon me last night and I won't say I'm okay with it either, yet. I have less than five weeks to make a final decision as to whether I'm going to keep the baby or not. I suppose it's then near after Dr. Surrey sprung that news when Harry got quiet.

I'm not saying that I'm comfortable with the situation, no one in their right mind would be, but I'm not a sobbing mess like I thought I would be. Harry's presence alone is keeping me from acting out or doing something I'll regret. I have a lot to think about in the next five weeks. My choices will shape how I live the rest of my life.

When I found out I immediately wanted to do one thing, but now I want to do the other, and there's a possibility of my mind changing again. I just need time to think.

"It's odd that I'm calling your house my home." I admit, trying to spark somewhat of a conversation with Harry. I should still be heartbroken, but right now all I can worry about is the silent man following me in the door. He's never silent, and that's why I should worry.

"Yeah." I nod my head, taking the silent hint for me to stop talking.

I know the impact of the news on me, but I have no idea in hell what Harry is thinking. He promised me he was going to be with me through this, that doesn't mean he doesn't have his two cents to pitch in. He has absolutely nothing to do with whatever decision I make, but I feel as if he does. I feel as if I need his input in order to do what is right.