White Gold *Completed*

Prologue

ADAM

I watched her slam the door shut and leave me in silence. Being alone right then may not have been the best choice for me, but I had to. The pain on Nix's face had been gut-wrenching, and standing there, being the one to make make her look like that was something I hoped would send me to hell.

I pitched forward and collapsed to my knees, my angry sob tearing through me and ripping at my vocal cords.

I had never felt this before...this exact emotion was terrifying; it was like being thrown out on my own with no clue how to survive alone. Nix was my shelter, my home; the thing I could always rely on having and now I had destroyed that. This aching fear of being lost at sea, drowning in my own hatred and tears, was something I knew I would feel for a very long time.

Because everything would change, now. Somehow, I had to make it seem like this entire thing hadn't just ended in one night, and was something that had maybe been going downhill for a while.

    But I didn't want to think about that part just yet. There was nothing to distract me. Drinking wouldn't take away the edge, cutting wouldn't ease this sort of pain, going for a run was physically impossible since I couldn't breathe.

So my last option was to be there, on the floor, on my knees, crying so hard sound no longer escaped. Just that gasping, shuddering motion that made your spine hurt and your ribs break. And I felt every. Damn. Second.

It was too quiet, too empty. The lights twinkling from the banister and the Christmas tree that was still up felt too cheery. I wanted to be here in the dark, suffocating on this despair, watching as the cloak of depression fast descended upon me, the walls I'd been holding up for so long finally crashing. The truths I'd been just barely managing to keep at bay for months were now in the open, obscuring the lies which felt safe to me this whole time.

Nix would be better off without me, but I wouldn't be better without her.

My watch beeped, signaling that it was two AM. My muscles were cramped, eyes red and throat raw, my heart still heavy, beating as though stuck in mud and losing strength.

There was no way I could sleep tonight.

(And here...we...go.

Welcome to the new era! Sit back, grab the tissues, ice cream, and cuddle up with that plush Adam doll we all know you've made, or the teddy bear you've named after him, and let's get this story rolllliinnnn!

I'm sorry in advanced!

Don't forget to check out the new and improved White Gold playlist on Spotify, as well as the Black Glitter playlist :)

 (Should I get a new catchphrase?)

<3

~CG)