Eucatastrophe ~ h.s.

✗ eleven ✗

Shay, you're pregnant.

The three words swirl through my hazy brain when nothing else does. They echo so loudly that I want to cover my ears, but I know that will do no good. They mock me, laughing and pointing, chanting over and over again: Shay, you're pregnant. My conscious mind screams for them to stop and let me have some peace. But as long as I'm in darkness, they won't shut up.

Opening my eyes for the second time that day isn't as hard, but it's just as terrifying. Thankfully, when my eyes adjust to the dim setting around me I'm granted with complete and utter silence. The doctors are no longer here, trying to calm me. The bustling noise from the hall outside has quieted to a few shoe squeaks here and there. And the man at my bedside is sleeping soundly.

Harry's head is resting against the back of his chair, his mouth parted open and soft snores escaping lips. His long legs are stretched out before him, disappearing underneath my bed and out of my field of vision. I half expected him not to be here when I woke, even though he told me he would. For once he looks almost calm, and not frantic or worried like he usually does.

I look down at my body, making sure I'm all still here. Whatever the doctors did to me is making my whole body feel groggy and unusually calm. If it weren't for those drugs still seeping through my system I'd probably be a crying mess. From the dampness underneath my eyes I know I'm crying, but I'm not going to categorize this as a mess. My mind is still trying to take everything in. I want to freak out, start screaming and crying to no one in particular, but I know that stress isn't good for me or the...

I can't say it, hell I can't even think it. If I did, that would mean coming to terms that this is reality.

Three weeks ago I was a normal, single twenty-one year old girl. I had a full-time job, was going to school full-time as well, and had bright plans ahead of me. I was happy, busy, and put together. Now I'm a crying mess of a twenty-one year old, acting like I'm a stupid teenager. I'm no longer happy, no longer busy, and most definitely not put together. I'm still single and I still have my full-time job, but now I'm a university drop out. Yes, you heard it. I quit after my second week holed up in my apartment. I was too far behind to catch up and what was the point? I no longer have bright plans for my future, only hazy glimpses of what my life could be.

"Harry?" Before I can stop myself, I'm pestering the sleeping man at my side. I'm sure he's exhausted, but part of me doesn't care. I need him awake right now. I need him with me, awake, not unconscious. Three weeks ago I didn't want anyone's help, but now I need help. I need his help if I'm going to survive this, or at least the night. "Harry?" I speak again, my voice cracking. He still doesn't stir, staying peacefully asleep.

I reach out as far as I can, barely being able to touch him. I'm close enough to touch his hand, which is hanging off the edge of his chair, gravity holding it up. I scoot as far over on the bed as I can manage and take his hand in mine, giving it a squeeze before repeating his name. This time he wakes up.

Rather, he jumps awake, nearly flying off his chair in the process. In any other situation I would probably be laughing, but I can't find it in my body to even smile right now. Harry's wild eyes look around before, falling on my hand clutching around his.

"Harry." I whisper, his head turning to look up at me. A small smile breaks out on his lips as he stands from the chair, keeping our hands together as he takes a step towards the bed.

"Hey, sleepyhead." He mutters, his eyes scanning my face. Fresh tears stream endlessly down my cheeks and the sad thing is I can't control them, nor do I realize that I'm still crying. "Awe, Shay, don't cry."

"I just can't stop." I mumble, my voice shaky. Harry nods his head in understanding, giving my hand a small squeeze. "I thought you weren't going to be here when I woke up." I admit, keeping my voice small. I'm embarrassed to admit it, but he has to hear what I have to say.

"No, no way. I'm not leaving your side, okay?" I blubber like a baby as he speaks. "I'm not leaving you today, not tomorrow, and definitely not through this whole process. I promise you that Shay." I nod my head, bringing my free hand up to my cheeks and desperately wiping away the continuing tears. "Listen, do you remember what I promised you the first night you stayed at my place?" He asks me, taking this time to sit on the edge of my bed beside me. I shrug slightly, my brain still fuzzy from the drugs and crying. "I promised you that I was not going to leave you."

"Sometimes promises are broken." I sob, trying to curl my body into the smallest ball possible. Harry sends me a saddened look as he stares down at me, and I honestly hate it. I hate how he looks at me now.

"Not this one."

Harry brings his free hand up to my swollen cheek and begins wiping the tears away for me. I close my eyes and nuzzle my head against his large hand, the feeling very comforted at the moment. I breathe out heavily, continuing to breathe in a slow and steady manner. Inhale... Exhale... Inhale.... Exhale...

"I need a hug." I blurt out, opening my eyes again to meet with Harry's emerald irises. He looks taken aback at first, unsure whether he heard me correctly. "I really just need a hug, please."

He nods his head, slowly leaning forward and outstretching his arms. I fall into his embrace and it's as if we were being molded together. It's as if our bodies are made for each other, that they are sculpted for each other. A perfect fit.

"Shhh, it's okay." Harry mumbles against my hair, rubbing my back softly as I breathe against his t-shirt clad chest. His embrace alone is making me feeling better, physically and emotionally.

"Thank you."

"We're going to get through this." He assures me, holding me slightly tighter as if I will just slip away. "You're not doing this alone."