Eucatastrophe ~ h.s.

✗ eleven ✗

"What else do you have to ask me?" I deadpan. "Clearly, you know everything from the reaction that Shay just gave you. She's pregnant from the guy that did this to her. The guy that broke her and sent her spiraling into a fucking depression." I'm no longer able to keep my cool. "Do you know how many times I prayed that she was okay and that this would all go away? She's been a mess, not eating, not sleeping, and crying all the time. We finally got her back into a routine of things where she was eating, sleeping, fuck even smiling." Now I'm tugging at my hair harshly.

"Harry-"

"She's not going to be okay. She's not strong enough for this and she is the definition of strong. No one is strong enough for this. This is all my fault and I don't know what to do to help her." That's when the dampness meets my cheeks for the first time.

Shay can tell me everyday for the rest of my life that what happened to her is not my fault. But everyday I won't believe her and everyday I will blame myself.

"Harry, stop." Dr. Barnes warns, her voice stern. "Shay is a strong girl. You said it yourself: she is getting better. This is, yes, a horrible situation for anyone to be in but she will be able to move past the initial shock. It's going to take time." I huff, wiping the tears away harshly as they continued to fall. "There are options."

"Yeah, like what?" I cry out. "Abortion, no way. I know Shay and she would never do that, even in this situation. She wouldn't be able to live herself if she did that. So then she has adoption, but she still has to go nine fucking months with a child growing inside of her. She'd be reminded daily. And then what if she keeps it?" I chuckle angrily. "She'll raise the child that's half hers, half the man she's terrified of all on her own? She'll have to look at that child for the next eighteen years of his or her life and know how he or she came to be. No, no way. This isn't happening."

"She has you." I huff, mentally slapping myself for making me sound like the worst "fiancé" in the world. "Will you be there for her, no matter what she chooses?"

"Of course." I say, looking over at the doctor. "Of course I will be."

Shay will always be someone special to me and there isn't anything in this world she can do to change my mind. I promised her I would help her through this, no matter what. This, well this is a bump in the road to recovery, but I will stick with her no matter what because I care for her.

"I'm sorry, I'm just..."

"Scared?" I suck my bottom lip into my mouth and look at the doctor with bloodshot eyes. I slowly nod, coming to my senses.

I'm terrified. I'm not sure how Shay is going to act now that she's found out this life changing news. She most definitely is not going to be able to go back to how she was before, smiling and semi-happy. I'm scared that she'll do something she'll regret later on in life. What if she chooses not to have the baby, will that decision haunt her for the rest of her life?

"Harry it's okay to be scared. Shay is scared too. You can help each other through this." I sniffle again, wiping the tears from my eyes. With a shake of the head and a clearing of my clogged throat I speak.

"What were the other questions you had for me?" I mumble out, wanting to get back to Shay now that I had my cry.

"Dear, you already answered them." She assures me, slowly standing to her feet. She brushes off her scrubs again before lending a hand down to me. "Shay's going to be asleep for a while, you're welcome to wait with her." I breathe out a quiet thank you as she helps me to my feet. "Just be sure to page us when she does wake up."

&&&

SHAY