deep feelings • j.m.

thirty-five

  t i n a

        My throat was sore from, the yelling and talking, but I felt like the problem could wait later, because the sight in front of me was making my head dizzy.

"Derek you don't have to do this, put the gun down." I told him walking forward a little bit towards him. I was shaking so hard.

"Tina do not walk closer to me I swear I'll do it." I turned around, and looked at everyone with tears in my eyes.

  "Guys could Yall give us a moment please?" I asked them in a calm voice.

"Tina I'm not leaving you in here by yourself, and him either," Jason told me.
   "Jason please nothing's going to happen... Just please guys trust me." They were all hesitant at the first, but nodded and left, but Jason still wasn't having it.

  "Jason please do you trust me on this? You can stand outside the door, just can we have alone time?" He still wasn't having it, I kissed him on the lips.

"Sit in the corner." I told him, and he did that.

  I walked towards Derek still kind of shaky.

  "Derek get down from there, and give me the gun... Please?" I got closer to him.

"Tina it's not even worth saving me, just let me do it," he cried.

  "Derek you want to know something, it is worth saving you, you want to know why? Because you have a whole life ahead of you, and people care about you." I told him, and gripped the gun.

"And if you really wanted to kill yourself, you would have did it with no hesitation," he loosen the grip on his gun, and I had it in my hands, and I placed it down.

"Can you come down from there please." I put my hand out towards him, and he grabbed my hand, and got down I pulled him into me, and gave him a hug crying into his chest.

"Derek don't ever do that again, you hear me." He started crying into my shoulder.

"I just don't feel loved no more-" he was telling me, but I cut him off.

"Because of that bitch Becky?" I asked him vivid.

  "If so, Derek you can do so much better, there are so many great girls out there, don't stop just because you had a nasty hoe." I told him.

I can't believe he was going to kill himself over some two timing hoe, and I wast about to let that happened.

  "Whether you see it or not Derek, you are a great guy, and when you find the right girl she will love you, and be by your side would never cheat on you, and you guys will get married, and have beautiful children, don't you want that?" Telling him this he knew I was right.

  "Thanks Tina I don't know what I would do with out you, I love you, your like a little sister I never had." I hugged him again.

"I love you too, and go downstairs, because if you're alone you'll start thinking again, and I'm not trying to go through this situation again." I told him laughing lightly he nodded at me, and walked out.

I turned to Jason just, because this happened didn't mean I forgot our talk we were having, I wanted to finish it.

"Back to your room," I pointed towards the door, and he walked out of Derek's room, and into his with me following.

                    Why have these couple of days been so stressful?  I shouldn't have to be going through this it's my senior year, I should be stressing about getting accepted into the college I want to get into not this. Not my brother sleeping around with my ex best friend, not him getting her pregnant, not her trying to kill me, not Jason telling me that we were dating before I lost my memory, and especially not someone trying to kill themselves.

 I'm glad I'll be getting away from all of this in two months.

"Baby girl?" I snapped my neck up, and looked at Jason, he walked towards me and hugged me tight. 

  "why are you crying? Are you okay?" I didn't even realize I was crying until he said something. I lifted my hand up, and wiped the tears of my face, and pulled away from Jason.

   "I'm fine," I said my words kind of slurred, my stomach was turning, I clenched my belly, and ran to Jason bathroom. I just let it all go in Jason's toilet, I let the vomit exited my mouth, and into his toilet I felt disgusted with myself.

   Jason held my hair up, and rubbed my back he got up, and gave me a wet washcloth. I put the washcloth on my forehead, and got up with Jason's help.

   "Are you okay baby girl? Do you want to go to the hospital to check you out?" He asked me,  I shook my head no.

  "I'm fine I just need some water." I told him,  and we walked out of him room, so I could get a cold glass of water. I was not feeling good for some reason maybe I should go to the hospital, and need to stop being stubborn.

  "Jason maybe I should go-" I gripped on the counter, and fell hit my head in it, the last thing I heard was everyone yelling my name, and I blacked out.

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j a s o n

  "Tina!" I yelled I picked her up, and carried her to my car with Gloria following me.

  "Can you drive to the hospital, please?" I chucked her my  keys, and she got the car started. I felt my baby girl forehead she was burning hot, I just hope she's okay I can't lose her she all I got.

  I gave god a little prayer asking him, no begging him that Tina was going to be okay.

 I kissed her forehead, and looked down at her, and smiled down at her.

  "You're going to be okay, we are going to be okay I Promise."  and I looked up at the road ahead.

 I promise.

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Sorry that Jason part was small, But hey I updated, so Derek is okay, but will Tina be? Poor baby just been stressing.

 Hey comment where you are from I'll like to know, I'm from Indiana. I know boring (sad face) and your guys comments make my day keep it up. :)