Extinguisher (A Sequel to Firefighter)

Chapter 18

"Hey. Your hair looks pretty like that." I blurted out, attempting to say at least one thing that was pleasant as I motioned towards her red locks.

"Thank you!" she smiled, tucking a piece of her hair behind her ear, her cheeks flushing at my presence. She always seemed to get nervous around me and I had no idea why.

"Hey, I wanted to see if you'd go to this thing with me tonight. It's not a party, well not the kind we usually go to. Nobody that we hang with from school will be there, I promise. It's actually a birthday party for my mom's friend's daughter. She goes to our school. I think she's a sophomore. She's nice but a little stuck up and ritzy. Anyway, my mom is making me go. Since I have to no choice, I'd really like it if you'd go with me. I don't exactly fit in with her friends. It'll be lame and I'll just go ahead and apologize in advance. There's supposedly a deejay and I wouldn't be surprised if Justin fucking Bieber showed up."

I stifled a laugh, closing my eyes briefly, unable to just straight up lie to this girl.

"Are you sure nobody we party with will be there?"

"I'm positive. It's only a bunch of freshmen and sophomore people, mainly girls. Meg is really shy and all of her friends are pretty much from the debate club. It's so annoying. My mom thinks that we'll be best friends just because we're two years apart. I can't wait to graduate after this year and move away."

"I feel the same way. I wish I was a senior too."

"So...you'll go?" she asked and I immediately nodded.

Usually, I would make up some lame excuse that was only a halfway representation of the truth, but now, I have nothing to lose. Lex is being so distant, avoiding me at all costs, so I really have no reason not to go to this thing with Vic. Who knows? Maybe I'll meet some new people.

I looked up into her eyes and nodded, hoping desperately I wouldn't regret my decision to go.

"Yes, I'll go."

Alexa's POV

Avoiding Noah was a lot harder than I thought it would be. At school, I was constantly looking over my shoulder, seeing if I would have to run from him once again. I wanted things to go back like they used to be. I should have never let him kiss me that very first time at the lookout over Seattle. I should have never let things go this far. I would be fine if things were the same as the used to be which entailed Noah following me to parties but me not falling hard enough to cause any damage. Now, I can't even stand to be in the same room as him. It hurts. It really does hurt because I don't want to upset him but I truly think he will have a better life without me always screwing it up and being such a constant burden in his life. I want him, but even having him as a friend will only make things harder. Plus, Cole needs me.

On Friday night, the day after I'd run from Noah in the parking lot, Cole and I decided to finally go to a party, having not been to one all week. I had decided not to drink and Cole said he also didn't want to, but I wasn't holding onto his words. Part of me was nervous because Cole had been so different since we had gotten back together. I wondered if after going to this party, things between us would shift back to the way they used to be. I knew that deep down, I didn't want that to happen, but life isn't fair and I don't get what I want in every situation. Sometimes, I do things for the good of everyone, disregarding what I really want.

My hands shook as I got dressed for the party, my eyes trained on my top drawer, knowing what lied in the bottom of it. I hadn't cut since I ended things with Noah but the urge was there every single day. I struggled with it every single day, trying so hard to be better. I wanted to climb into Noah's window but I couldn't. So, I quickly got dressed and gathered my things before running down the stairs. Cole was waiting for me on the couch. My parents were out of town, going back to Portland where they used to live before I was born. I smiled a warm smile at him before going into the kitchen, finding my brothers, Sawyer and Aaron digging around in the refrigerator.