Extinguisher (A Sequel to Firefighter)

Chapter 14

After several moments, Lex pulled away, her hands finding the sides of my face, her fingertips gliding across the stumble there.

"Noah, I'm sorry. Please don't hate me."

"I don't and I won't ever. I'm sorry. Did I hurt you? Did you..."

She looked down, removing her hands from my face to rub at her temples. She was wearing my flannel and as she massaged her head, the loose sleeves slid up her arms, causing me to reach for her. I began unbuttoning her shirt right down the front, ignoring her protests. After a stern glare, she allowed me to push the fabric off her shoulders, leaving her in only a black tank top. I reached down, turning her arms upright so that her palms faced up towards the ceiling. I winced at the sight, cursing repeatedly under my breath.

"Fuck, Lex, did you do this because of what I said?" I asked even though I already knew she had.

"No." she lied.

"Yes, you did." I whispered, staring at the new horizontal cuts that covered her wrists.

I hurt you." I added, my glossy eyes burning.

God, this is too much. I'll die if she keeps doing this. I can't stand it. It hurts so bad. This is unbearable.

"I'm sorry." She apologized, looking me in the eyes, tears welling in hers.

"Shh...Shh..." I whispered, raising one of her wrists to place a delicate kiss there.

I tried to be gentle as I kissed her wrists- one thankfully being covered by the cast- trying to tell her without words, trying to explain nonverbally how much she meant to me.

"I love you, Lex. Please stop. Please don't do this. When you cut yourself, you're cutting me so deeply. I hate this. Please, just please stop."

"Noah I..."

"Don't say anything. Just lay with me, let me hold you." I practically begged, reaching out to intertwine our fingers, having the urge to hold onto her, to hold onto something.

"Noah, that's all I want right now. I can't promise you anything but for you, I'm trying. I really am trying Noah. It's easier with you. I'm happier with you."

"That's all I want; your happiness."

I pulled back my covers and found Lex's hand once again, enclosing mine around hers and guiding her over to my bed, gently pushing her down onto the plush mattress before swallowing the lump in my throat at the thought of her being wrapped up in my bed with me. I unbuttoned my jeans, climbing into bed as I stepped out of them. As I pulled the covers up over our bodies, I felt Lex against my side, making a smile spread across my face. I loved this girl and to hold her, to actually wrap her in my arms was the best feeling in the entire world.

"Lex, did he touch you? Cole, did he do anything to..." I attempted to ask as my hands roamed her body, searching for any kind of injury, anything unusual.

"No Noah, he just kissed me. It's okay. I really just don't want to talk about Cole."

I nodded, tangling my feet with Lex's, pulling her all the way against my body, us both facing each other.

"Okay, what do you want to talk about?" I questioned, running my fingers through her long waves, pressing a tender kiss to her forehead.

"I want to talk about us or...I don't know."

"Okay. We can skip all of the small talk questions about favorite colors and food preferences. I think we discovered those things a while back."

"I think so, but Noah, I don't feel like I've been there for you. Well, I know I haven't. I've been a terrible friend and I've just ignored everything you've gone through, focusing instead on all of my shit. I'm sorry, Noah. I didn't even know you self-harmed, Noah. I...How could I not know that? Noah..." she whimpered, tears coming on as she pushed my sleeve up to observe the almost nonexistent scars.