Agape & Eros

Whirlpool of Emotions

The world felt hazy. All the colors, sound, feelings seemed have lost from the earth. He couldn't even feel his hands. The world rocked a bit. The door to his room looked like the door to the room where he was taken to identify his father's dead body.
Slowly his father's pale face appeared before him. Pale skin but stained with blood. Something else was oozing from the wound on his head. Ram hadn't dared to look at it.
But the wound started to look bigger and bigger and bigger... So big that it felt like a pit. He was about to fall in it. 
That's when he heard his name. 

"Ram, Ram..."

.

Ram sat there completely stupefied. Priya got worried. She had expected him to cry, to push her away, to scream, get angry, and many other things. But what she didn't expect was to see him sitting there like a stone sculpture with his gaze pinned on something that wasn't in their surrounding. His pale face, and numb hands had scared her. She called him for quite a few times. 

She addressed him as Mr. Kapoor at first, but soon she had to call him by his name, Ram.
It was only when she shook him and screamed his name, did he look at her, 

.

"Dad" was the first word he spoke. A tear rolled down his face, embodying the weight of his emotions. Soon there was stream of tears flowing down his cheeks. He regained control over his hands but not his over his emotions. 

He held Priya's hand.

Ram- Dad... dad... was killed? All these years we thought, I thought he... He was killed! And Mahendra Sood? How could he...? Why would he...? 

Ram started to sob. Priya couldn't control her tears either. 

Priya- I don't know... I don't know anything. 

She had prepared to tell him many things.
That "she is not like her father", "she'd never betray him", "she won't be able to love without him" etc. 

But in that moment, both of them did nothing but cried. After a few moments, Ram started to speak again. 

Ram- And Shashi, he knew. He knew everything. But all this time, he chose to hide everything and laugh at my misfortune... Did Vedika know this too?

Priya- I don't know. 

Priya replied in a meek voice.

Ram- Why would Sahil Babbar...? Dad used to trust that man so much, Priya. They were friends you know. They were... friends... What kind of friendship was that? I... I can't... What am I supposed to do now? How am I supposed to feel? After all these years...

Priya- I am sorry, Ram. I am really sorry. I know this hurts you. This hurts you a lot. Nothing will soothe this pain. And you are angry too. I am in front of you. And Mahendra Sood is in jail. You can do whatever you want. You can curse at me. You can punish Mahendra Sood however you like I won't say a word. I have no relation with him. He is no one to me. I will do whatever you tell me to do, or mom tells me to do. I will act however you like, speak however you like. Just don't leave me, Ram. 

Her voice broke. Her words reminded Ram of last night. 

"Mujhe bolna nahi aata, par ye sach hain. Mujhe aap se pyaar ho gaya. I love you, Ram. Aur mein aapke liye na sab kurban kar sakti hu. Sab kuch. Par mein aap ke bina nahi reh sakti. Mein aab bilkul pehli wali Priya nahi reh sakti. Mein aab aapke bina nahi reh sakti, akele kuch nahi kar sakti mein, aapki pyaar ke bina mein ek din bhi soch sakti."

The confession of a drunk Priya. Her helpless eyes, continuous pleading, her tears, her fear- everything made sense to him. 

Priya kept speaking. Ram hardly heard anything as he dealt with the whirlpool of emotions within him. But he saw a devastated Priya. Her helpless tears, her uncontrolled sobbing, her pleading eyes. 

He slowly cupped her face. His touch stopped Priya's words. And soon after he pulled her into his arms and started sobbing again. 

Priya was shocked for a moment. She certainly didn't expect that hug. A faint smile appeared on her face. She started to sob as well.

Ram couldn't form any thought. While guilt ate Priya up, though she wasn't the one who was guilty. The only thing that she could think was,

"Ram won't leave me."

Their embrace strengthened as they held on to each other.