Agape & Eros

Awkwardness

After breakfast Ram and Priya left for work together. In the car, they couldn't but smile whenever their gaze fell on each other. Both of them were blushing like teenagers. 

Without even uttering the three words for confession, they had confessed to each other. They knew each other. They knew what they wanted. 

Though both of them were feeling ecstatic, they couldn't express that with words. In fact, they couldn't express anything in words. An awkwardness surrounded them. 

Ram tried to break the awkwardness at first. 

Ram- Priya?

Priya- Hmm?

Ram- Shall we put on some music? 

Priya- Hmm

Ram- Ok. 

Ram played the song "Bade Achhe Lagte Hain". From being Ram's favorite the song had transcended to become both of their favorite song. 

As Amit Kumar's voice filled the air, both of them lost themselves in the sweet lanes of memories. 

Priya recalled the day when they had decided to be friends. How far they had come since then.

While Ram recalled the first time he felt attracted to her. The moment when he wanted her in his arms for the first time. How his dream came true! Though he had rebuked himself a lot for wanting this back then, as it was really inappropriate. He suddenly remembered what had happened in the next moment. They were in the car in a similar kind of awkwardness and Ram was trying to distract his mind by listening to the news. Ram chuckled remembering the day. 

Priya- What happened? 

Ram- Nothing. Just remembered something.

Priya- What?

Ram- Ha?

Priya- What did you remember? 

Ram- Ummm... I can't tell you.

Priya became a bit disappointed. And Ram could tell it from seeing her face. 

Ram- I mean, not because I want to hide or anything. But because you will become mad at me. 

Priya- Mr. Kapoor! Why do you always act like I am going to chew your head off? 

Ram- Because, I do things to deserve that.

Priya- Tch, please tell me, na? If you don't I'll be even more mad.

Ram- Ok, ok. I just remembered our first awkward car ride. 

Priya- Huh?

Ram- Do you remember the day when Meera maa woke up from coma?

Priya- How can I forget that? I was so relieved! But how is that related to awkward ride? 

Ram- We went to your house together, had a shower and something to eat before leaving for our workplace, remember? 

Priya- Yes. 

Ram- That was the first time when I had looked at you differently.

Ram said with a blushing face. 

Priya- Matlab? 

Ram- When you came out of the shower, you looked so beautiful. I couldn't help but look at you. And your...

Priya- My what?

Ram- Sunna jaruri hain kya? 

Ram asked with a puppy face. Priya found it cute. She acted stubbornly.

Priya- Ha. 

Ram- [In a low tone] Your skin looked like butterscotch ice cream.

Priya- Ha? Butterscotch? What does that suppose to mean? 

Ram- It means something delicious.

Priya- Mein aapko khane ki cheez lagti hu, Mr. Kapoor? 

Ram- No, no, no. Khane ki cheez sounds like objectifying. I am not objectifying you. I believe in feminism. And I respect you. I'll never objectify you. It's just... it looked lickable, no, sorry, kissable, I mean I wanted to kiss you. 

Ram told everything without taking a breath and looked at Priya to see her reaction. Priya became red just like a tomato. Her playful smile had disappeared. Ram felt an obligation to inform her how he respected her over his feelings. 

Ram- But that was for a split second. I hadn't thought any further. I hadn't looked at you anymore. And I tried my best to distract myself. I really respected you. It was my fault. Entirely completely my fault. But trust me I am not that kind of guy. I don't have this feeling for every single girl I meet. I am not a pervert. I don't know why I was so attracted to you. But I didn't think anything else. I swear. I had distracted my mind. 

Priya- By switching on the radio to listen to the news? 

Ram- Yes... Are you mad at me? 

Priya didn't say anything. Ram sighed getting the silent treatment. 

Ram- Great! Now I've made you hate me again. 

Priya- Why would I hate you? 

Ram- Maine kaam hi aisa kiya hain na. But naraj maat rehna mujhse please. You can punish me for that but naraj maat rehna mujhse please. Tumhari narajgi seh nahi pata mein.

Priya- Mein aap se naraj nahi hu. 

Ram- Then why did you stop smiling? 

Priya- Mr. Kapoor, I am not used to this type of conversation. 

Ram- I told you because you've forced me to. We don't have to talk about these things right now. You know what, just forget it. Don't listen to me. Forget it. I haven't said anything. Don't take any stress, ok? Just forget it. Relax.

Priya- Pakka? 

Ram- Pak...ka

Priya regretted forcing him. After listening to him she felt too shy to even look at him. Ram felt shy too. He didn't know how to handle the situation. They both kept silent for the rest of their journey. Upon reaching the office, they even felt shy to move from their place. 

Priya- Mr. Kapoor, I can't figure it out, when did it all happen between us. I...

Ram- Priya, just breathe... and relax. Yeah?

Priya- Mr. Kapoor. You're special to me. And I want you to know it.

Ram- I know it, Priya. I know it. Sorry. Sab kuch awkward ho gaya na? Slightly awkward. 

Both of them chuckled a bit. 

Ram- Look, Priya. I've told you everything that was on my mind. Now it's your responsibility to remove this awkwardness between us. 

Priya- areh! Mein kaise? 

Ram- Mujhe nahi pata. Tum feminist ho na? You talk about equality. So, the rules should be applied here also, ha. 

Saying this Ram left for his office. Priya stood there for a moment. 

"Strange! How will I? I mean... What will I do?"

She thought.