Agape & Eros

Belongingness

"But you will accept these, right? Only for this one time, please. These are so pretty. And I promise you that I'll never ever buy something expensive without asking you first."

Ram pleaded.

"No." Priya gave the most obvious answer. 

Ram- Same answer for every question. Don't you have any variety? Now what should I do with these? I can't wear these. Should I dump these? 

Priya- You can return these. 

Ram- But. What will they think?

Priya- Who?

Ram- The salesman, the store owner, their family, their relatives...

Priya- Mr. Kapoor. Have you gone mad? Why are you dragging the whole world into it?

Ram- Ram Kapoor hasn't returned anything to this date. It will become news, na? 

Priya rolled her eyes. Ram kept pleading. 

Priya- Ok, ok. But only for this time and I am not going to wear it at the wedding.

Ram- Whatever you wish. Just keep them in your closet and that'll be enough for me. 

Priya- Ok. 

Ram- By the way, what will you wear?

Priya- Saradi gifted me a saree at my wedding I am wearing that one. 

Ram- Can I see it? 

Priya took out the red benarasi saree from the closet and put it on the bed. Ram was folding his sleeve before sitting on the bed to check out the saree. Ram opened the folds of the saree and felt the fabric gently. He started praising it.

Ram- Wow. Nice color. Such smooth fabric and these intricate designs. Saradi has a nice choice. Hain na, Priya?

But Priya couldn't hear a word. Her attention was drawn to the sight of his forearms. Her eyes lingered on the sights of his veins peeking through. She found herself captivated by the way his veins pulsed and throbbed under the surface. 

Ram snapped his fingers in front of Priya. The sound Brought Priya out of the trance.

Ram- Priya, where are you lost?  

Priya- Huh? Wo, mein. Nothing. 

Ram- Achha. Get ready then. Everybody will be coming soon. I am going to change in the other room. 

Ram left with his clothes giving Priya the privacy she needed.

Priya closed the door in a hurry. She was flushed. She chided herself. 

"Priya, what has happened to you? Does anyone stare like that? And why is my heart racing so fast? Forget it, Priya. This is nothing. Get ready. You are getting late."

Priya started to get ready. While wrapping the saree, she remembered how Ram was caressing the saree. She felt warm. The saree felt different against her skin. She had goosebumps. She shook her head and decided to concentrate on a different topic. She quickly got ready and went outside of their room. 

When she came out she met Ram. He was wearing a beautiful black achkan sherwani. He was fixing his sleeves. The dark sherwani complimented his eyes. Priya couldn't look away. Ram noticed Priya's gaze on him. He looked behind himself to find where did Priya's eyes fall on.  

Then he realized it was himself on whom those eyes were stuck. He smiled a bit being shy and happy. He fixed his hair and felt proud of his look. 

"I have captured the eyes of a strict professor. How handsome I am. Nothing short of a hero." Ram thought to himself. Then he stood before her and called her by her name. His voice broke her stupor. 

Ram- Priya. shall we go? 

Priya nodded in response. She went downstairs. Ram knocked on Shivi's room. 

*

The priest called for the Kanyadan. Priya looked at Ram. But he remained seated.

Priya- Mr. Kapoor, the priest is calling. 

Ram- Wo, Priya...

Ram didn't have to complete his sentence. Priya saw Shubham approaching the mandap. 

Priya- But you are the elder brother. 

Ram- Step elder brother. It was decided beforehand. 

Priya- And who decided that? I don't think it's Shivi. 

Ram- Shivi doesn't care much about rituals. But she did want me to perform the ritual. 

Priya- Who was it? 

Ram- Leave it, Priya. Let Shubhu do it. It's his right. 

Priya- What about you? 

Ram felt a lump in his throat. He looked down to hide his tears. Two drops fell straight from his eyes on the carpet. He looked at Priya with a big smile.

Ram- I'm fine, Priya. It doesn't matter. 

No matter how hard Ram tried to hide his sufferings Priya could see it, and so did his friends. Adi kept his hand on Ram's shoulder. Ram tried to find solace among his friends. But Priya couldn't find a way to lessen his pain. She looked at Akki. Akki too was shocked seeing Shubhu. Priya and Akki's eyes met. Akki could see the disappointment, helplessness, and anger in his sister's eyes. 

Akki- Shivi, don't you think Ram vai should do it? Shubhu hardly accepted us. 

Shivi- I know he won't do it wholeheartedly. I wanted Ram vai to do it. But then mami said that stepbrothers can't perform kanyadaan. And Ram vai said we should listen to the elders. So I didn't say anything anymore. 

Akki- We could ask the priest. As a fact, it is Ram vai who treats you like his own kid and calls you bachhe. It is he who's getting us married. Not Shubhu. 

Shivi looked at Ram. Ram smiled at her. He was struggling to hold back the tears. Shivi spoke to the priest in a low tone. 

Shivi- Pandit ji, may I ask something. 

Priest- Of course. 

Shivi- I have an elder brother. He is the eldest among us three. I don't remember our dad as he died when I was still a kid. But I remember how he cared for me, taught me, fed me, pampered me, and raised me. Shouldn't he do my kanyadaan? 

Priest- Of course. According to the ancient scripts, it's both his duty and right.  

Shivi- But we don't share the same mother. Is that a problem? 

Priest- Not at all. 

Shivi and Akki smiled looking at each other. Shivi stood up before Shubhu could step on the mandap and called Ram. 

Shivi- Ram vai, come here quickly. 

Ram ran to her thinking she was having some trouble. 

Ram- What happened? Any problem? Are you uncomfortable? 

Shivi- I was. We both were. Not anymore now. I've asked the highest authority. The priest. And he said you can... no, no, no... you should do my kanyadaan. After all, I can imagine only you when I try to imagine Dad. 

Ram- But Shivi...

Shivi- It's final. Or else I will cry do you want me to cry?

Ram- Never bachhe. 

Ram patted Shivi's head. Shivi made him sit down. After many years, Ram felt belongingness.