Agape & Eros

Your Dreams

On a typical Sunday evening, 
Priya was working on her laptop. Ram had no work so he sat beside Priya waiting for her to finish her work. As time passed by he grew impatient. He leaned on her shoulder and gently nudged her. 

Ram- What are you doing? 

Priya- I am writing a letter of recommendation. Actually not a but 10!

Ram- 10! For whom?

Priya- Obviously, Mr. Kapoor. For the useless students I have. 

Ram- Are they applying for jobs? 

Priya- No, universities. 

Ram- Universities? Aren't they already in one? Are they running away from you? 

Priya- I am shooing them away from me. 

Ram- Why? 

Priya- These 10 fools are the most brilliant ones in my class. I think it's only befitted that they pursue Ph.D.

 Ram- O! So you are writing LoRs for their Ph.D. applications? 

Priya- Yes. 

Ram- Achha, Akki told me once and if I remember it correctly you had gotten a scholarship for pursuing Ph.D. abroad, right? 

Ram sat straight in front of her. Priya stopped typing. Out of nowhere, a wave of sadness and heartache washed over her. 

Her Ph.D. Her dream. 

All came to a halt due to the crisis her family was facing. One crisis came after another. And her dream was left unfulfilled. 

Ram nudged her again. 

Ram- Right, Priya? 

Priya- Hmm? Hmm. 

Ram- What happened back then that you rejected the offer? 

Priya- Family crisis. Ishaan was about to be born. 

Ram- But Varun was there, na? Why did you...

Priya- Varun wasn't there initially. He married Saradi after Ishaan was born. It was complicated between them. 

Ram- Ok. Then? 

Priya- Then what? 

Ram- Why didn't you go for it later? 

Priya- Things happened. Forget it now, Mr. Kapoor. 

Ram- No wait. You can't just let it go. Wasn't it your dream? 

Priya- It was but forget it. 

Ram- Ek second... Why? Why should we forget it? 

Priya- It was so long ago. It doesn't matter anymore. 

Ram- Why are you like this? 

Priya- What did I do now? 

Ram- Akki told me. You always forget your own dreams and hopes for others. Why? 

Priya didn't know how to answer the question. What could she have said? Why was she like that? She didn't know. She just knew that she had to sacrifice. It was her instinct to always prioritize others over herself. Sacrificing her own needs and dreams was something innate to her. 

Her helpless pensive eyes revealed it to Ram that it was not in her hand, that it was an innate behavior of her. Ram didn't push her for a reply anymore. Instead, Ram decided something for her. 

Ram- This session, you will apply too. 

Priya- What? 

Ram- No ifs and buts. 

Priya- I didn't say any ifs and buts.

Ram- Ok, then no whats and whys.

Priya- But Mr. Kapoor...

Ram- We will select the varieties for you together. I will help you in your application process. 

Priya- But I can't go for it now.

Ram- Why? 

Priya- I don't want to. That's it. 

Ram- But isn't it your dream?

Priya- It is but this isn't the right time. 

Ram- Your right time will never come, huh.

Priya- Why are you getting angry?

Ram- Because you never prioritize yourself. Not even when it is you who needs to be prioritized. 

Priya- You are wrong, Mr. Kapoor. This is not the time when I need to be prioritized. 

Ram- Why? Who else is here? No, give me a single reason why shouldn't you prioritize yourself now. I wanna know. Give a single reason. 

Priya- Have we caught Mahendra Sood yet? No. As long as he is free, your life is in danger. And I can't leave you in this situation. 

Ram softened a bit listening to her. He held her hands. 

Ram- Nothing will happen to me. Mahendra Sood is out of town. And police are trying their best to find out the real culprit. And I have so many bodyguards and drivers. I will be fine. I am sure it's just another business rival. I had enough of them. I know how to handle them, okay?

Priya- No. 

Ram- What no? Haar baat pein no. 

Priya-I don't understand why are we fighting on this silly matter. 

Ram- Silly matter? How is this a silly... Wait. Ek second. Did you just say fight? Is it a fight? Are we fighting? 

Priya- Do you want the definition of fighting now? Of course, this is a fight that you've started. 

Ram- No... I mean. Ok, if this is a fight, is this a fight? 

Priya- [Confused] Ha. 

Ram- Okay then. Ek second. 

Ram jumped out of bed and ran to the closet. Priya couldn't understand his actions. A few moments later, Ram returned with a coupon in his hand. 

Ram- Ye... ye lo tum. I have won the fight now. Using this coupon. 

Ram handed her the coupon. Priya read it. It was the first coupon.

"Kisi bhi ek ladai pe aapko jitne diya jaye ga."

Priya- Mr. Kapoor. This is not fair. 

Ram- Exactly how is this not fair, Mrs. Kapoor? 

Ram asked with a grinning face. He took the coupon from Priya. 

Ram- It is decided then. You are applying for Ph.D. 

Priya- Mr. Kapoor, please try to understand. 

Ram climbed onto the bed. He sat beside Priya and gently cupped her cheeks. 

Ram- You should try to understand. You can't always be like this. You can't always sacrifice yourself. Your dreams and hopes matter, Priya. Learn to prioritize yourself. 

Priya- And you, of all people, are saying this to me. Have you seen the mirror, Mr. Kapoor? No, tell me. What are you exactly doing right now? You are telling me to leave you when you need someone around you the most. Your life is at risk. And you expect me to leave you in such a crucial moment. What happens to your "prioritize yourself" motto when it's about yourself?

Ram- But...

Priya- No ifs and buts, Mr. Kapoor. 

Priya left for the kitchen to see the dinner arrangement. Ram sat there. 

He was happy to find someone who didn't want to leave him. But at the same time, he was sad too. 

Ram- But what about you, Priya? What about your dreams?