Agape & Eros

A Coconut

Priya- What?

Ram- A coconut. She was hard outside but soft inside. The person I married was rude because she needed to be. She needed to be the backbone of her family, the one to take firm decisions, the one to protect... But inside she was the softest. Who loved and cared more than anyone else. No matter how many times you keep calling my wife rude, I won't agree cause I've seen her crying for me. A rude person can't cry for others.

Priya- So, now you want to use my vulnerable side against me?

Ram- What? No. What makes you think that? 

Priya- I don't know. And I don't want to think anything. 

Priya proceeded to walk away at a great speed. Ram held her hand. Which made Priya trip and fall on him. He stood firmly and grabbed her by the waist. 

Priya- Why did you pull me? 

Ram- Why are you leaving me?

Priya detached herself from Ram and stood still. 

Ram- Please, Priya, I beg of you. Please tell me what happened. I am struggling to understand you. Everything was so perfect yesterday. And today... You were so open and fun. 

Priya- I was drunk. 

Ram- You were easier to talk to. 

Priya- So, you find it hard to talk to me when I am sober. 

Ram- At least, for today. And I hate this.

Priya- That means you hate me now. 

Ram- N...no. I didn't mean that. I meant I hate it when I can't understand you. 

Priya sat down on a nearby couch. Ram sat in front of her.

Ram- Priya, please tell me. What's bothering you? If you can't tell your husband, tell it to your friend. Do you remember? Long before we agreed to marry, we became friends. 

Priya- You are the same person. And I am not a 5-year-old, that you'll change your mask and I'll be deceived. 

Priya left Ram and went to a room. Ram watched her going in frustration. He couldn't understand what did he do wrong. He didn't understand how to talk to her. He decided to give her some space. He took his phone and texted Priya. 

"At least eat something."

Priya looked at the screen lighting up. She read the text. She wasn't ready to face him right then. But she couldn't ignore him. She replied to the message. 

"I'm not hungry."

Ram wanted to talk to her. He could clearly see she was upset. But he didn't know how. He had no way to know unless Priya told him. And Priya wasn't telling him anything. So, rather than pushing her, he felt it'd be right to try to make her comfortable.

"Look, Priya. You became my friend first, and wife later. At least, I think that way. I don't know what's bothering you. But I'm here to listen without any judgment. I hope you'll always be there for me to listen to me without any judgment. That's why I could tell you everything about last night, about Vedika and Neeraj. I won't tell you to blindly trust me. But know that, I'm always here for you."

Priya was in a corner of a room. She had closed the door to deal with her emotions alone.

Priya read the text. She felt overwhelmed. In her heart, she knew that her fears and her reaction were not justified. But she struggled to believe Ram. Not because Ram had done something wrong, but because she didn't believe that she deserved any happiness. 

"Mr. Kapoor, I know you are not like Sir or Neeraj. But I can't trust anyone easily. I have been hurt many times. And I don't have any strength left to deal with another heartbreak. My luck doesn't favor me, Mr. Kapoor. My luck can't tolerate happiness. I live in this constant fear that everything will be snatched from me. That's why I lie to myself. I like to think that I don't deserve anything. Without any expectation, I can't be hurt right? Right now, I know I should forget about Vedika. But what if you become weak for her? What if you start to sympathize with her? Then you'd want to leave me and return to your first love. I should prepare myself for the day, right? To protect me from another heartbreak. If I don't protect my heart, who else will?"

Priya thought to herself. A lone tear trickled down her cheek. She didn't know how to talk about these with Ram; or how to trust him. 

"But he said, I don't need to trust him. I just need to know that he's here. But how should I talk to him? I should make everything clear between us. I can't take another risk that might hurt myself."

"...A coconut. Hard outside, soft inside."

Ram's voice echoed in her mind. She started thinking,

"Am I really a coconut? Yes, I am soft inside, and I had to be tough outside. But how did he know? Have I become that predictable? Did I open up to him a bit too much? What should I do?"

Priya couldn't decide how to deal with this situation. She couldn't find a way to deal with her own insecurities. She could not decide how much of her thoughts she can share with Ram.

And for the first time, after their marriage, they spent the night without talking to each other. In a room, Priya was trying to deal with her insecurities and overwhelmed emotions. 

In another room, Ram discovered that it had become impossible for him to live without Priya. He couldn't sleep in the middle of the bed. He chose the right side to lie down. 

His eyes searched for her on the left side despite knowing that she isn't there, his hands caressed the left side of the bed feeling her absence. His heart trembled in an unknown fear of losing her. He wanted to run to her and take her in the tightest hug. 

But he couldn't.

*

Vedika had returned to a villa of them that she and Shashi co-owned. Her phone was switched off to spare herself from Shashi's pestering. She sat in complete darkness. Her failure made her even more vicious. She became jealous of Priya. She wanted to snatch every happiness of hers. 

 On that night, Vedika decided to pull the string of everyone's lives in the Sood family and the Kapoor family. To become a puppeteer of misfortune.