Voices of delight (Son Chaeyoung x f reader)

Chapter 20: Rewind.

"Sometimes I wished I never fell in love with you, you hurt me so much.." she continued to speak and tears dropped down her cheeks. She loved you but she was also tired of all the pain, she couldn't take it anymore.

"In the worst moments of our relationship I hated you with all my heart and yet I loved you so much I couldn't leave you." she was trying to stop the tears from running but she just couldn't, the pain was too much to handle.

"You had the right to do so I know.. I hated myself too.." you mouthed still looking away from her to avoid the eye contact. You wanted now that you were together again to know how she felt, how stupid you were back then, how much pain you caused.

"I wanted to leave you so many times but I couldn't because of how I was still in love with you." she said still trying to hold her tears.

"I should've done it, it would've been better for the both of us." these words were painful to say because you were happy now and she loved you so much yet the memories hurt her so much at the same time.

She was so confused, she wanted to forget everything and love you the way she loved you right now.

You nodded at her words and stayed silent to let her words get through your heart and hurt you as well. You didn't let a single tear come out of your eyes because you shouldn't be the one crying. You were the one who broke her heart and crying was the last thing you had to do for her. You were so stupid.

She let out a small chuckle, she noticed the way you didn't cry and she wanted to ask you why but she was too sad to speak.

You loved her and you wanted her to be happy but it was saddening seeing the way you didn't try to fight your tears.

"Y/N?" she whispered in a sad tone.

"Why aren't you crying with me..?" she looked at you and she saw how you kept looking away from her, you were still ashamed and she just wanted you to be at ease with her.

"Because I'm not the right person to cry, I should be ashamed of myself instead.. For letting whatever I had in mind that period to hurt you and ruin you." you said and turned to look at her again with your serious yet watery eyes. You wanted to breakdown and tell her how stupid and sorry you were but you wanted to also hear her.

She moved a little and she rested her head on your shoulder, she was still full of tears but she didn't want to see you crying. Her voice was soft and she was speaking between tears.

"I should be ashamed for not being able to walk away from you when I needed it the most, I was so stupid because I was still willing to be with you despite everything." she started shaking, the tears were running down her cheeks but it felt like time had stopped just for her to speak to you again about this.

Her words hit you harder than ever leaving you speechless. You just stared at the wall for a few minutes to process what she just said. "I didn't want to loose you.. I don't wanna remember why I did those things to you.. I was so jealous and overprotective for no reason.." you said quietly, your voice wasn't coming out.

"I'm sorry.." you muttered once again feeling need to apologise to her till you died and even after death for the way you treated her.

She hugged you tightly and she looked at you, she wanted to look at you and make you feel like she loved you.

Her tears were falling one after the other, it was painful to hear you talk like that and it was painful for her to tell you that.

But you had to say it, you couldn't just leave everything in the past and go on with your relationship.

"Can I ask you a question..?" she said after a long time of hugging you, she tried to calm you down. "Do you think that I deserved it?"

"No! Not at all.. why would you think that.. I never wanted you to end up hurt I was just stupid to realize that I was hurting you." you confessed and let yourself fall on the bed as you covered your eyes with your hands.