𝙰𝙿𝙷𝚁𝙾𝙳𝙸𝚃𝙴'𝚂 𝙱𝙾𝙳𝚈𝙶𝚄𝙰𝚁𝙳

Fourty-Four

I muttered, "I know.. I'll do it soon."

"Y'know what," He scratched his neck and sighed. ".. no suicides but you have tell your Mom about this by Sunday. If not, the whole next practice will be comditioning, understand?"

"Yessir." I told him.

Mama didn't learn a thing that night, or the night after that, the night after that, and that.

The day of my match, Saturday, I didn't have plans her either. Suicides it was I guess- Kirsten, me, and a couple of juniors took Coach's van to our match we qualified for.
The juniors and us older ones were seperated- Coach Trevor stayed with us.

Girls go first; it was how it always was.

"You're good, KiKi- I watched her footage," I told her as I adjusted her Nike headband. ".. she's a desperate fighter."

"Mmm mwy wucky dway.." She said- forgetting about her mouth guard.

"Its always a lucky day for Kirsten Trevor." Coach pipped in.

There were too many 'what if' senarios that I considered when I noticed that sorry form of Kirsten's opponent.
Her anger was evident and her worry to lose was obvious, so what if?

What if I had my match first instead, what if that sorry bitch actually new how to box properly, what if it was me who was critically hit in the back of the neck that day- and Coach Trevor had to tell my Mama who hadn't a clue about any of this at all.

For the first time in my life I didn't want to box and not because my Coach was screaming over his daughter and one of my closests friends seizing body- not because medics were scrambling in the ring, but because I was afraid for me.
I had imagined a life for the people around me if I was never there to begin with plenty of times, but the last thing I ever wanted was for my Mama to hurt like that over me.

And she would- I knew she would.

I didn't want to stay at the tournament, but Coach Trevor made me.
He said Kirsten would hate me if I quit, and I won with ease.
There wasn't a thought behind my eyes but there was so much to think about, and the van ride home with the juniors and their assistant coach was silent.

"Mama,"

Our house was always quiet except for the low hym of Lauryn Hill.
She always seemed to be doing something- she never rested. Maybe it was age, but my Mama was never that skinny.

Her eyes were bright- she was wearing thosr emerald studs. I hadn't seen her in those in so long.

".. Mama I," I paused and set my dirtied gloves on the dining room table in front of her. ".. I box- I've been boxing." I admitted as I took a seat in the chair across from hers.

"Huh," She muttered- setting down her book. ".. box?"

".. And I don't wanna stop, Mama," I told her yet I avoided her eyes. ".. I can't stop. I've been doing this for almost a year- if I'm not a boxer then who am I? Because I'm not a CEO- I'm not what you or Father want me to be."

"Is that what you have thought I wanted for you, Domi?"

With wide eyes I finally looked over at Mama.

"Wait what-"

"- I just want you to be happy and safe, Domi. You are my son, my first baby," She huffed and reached across the table- squeezing my arm. ".. I have always known you did not want to take over the company.. that was never you- not my Domi."