Attention Truelove

Chapter 37

POV: Skylar

I've never been good at knowing what to say in times like this. Somehow, I usually make it more awkward or just worse in general. I wish people just said what they meant all the time, instead of having everyone guess. If everyone said what they really meant the world would be so much easier.

I watch Darleen cover her face and shake her head in disappointment and sadness before marching off to be alone somewhere. Not even acknowledging my presence. Not that I blame her, she has bigger things to worry about. Her entire wedding is imploding.

I wonder if that's how it would have been with Jade and me. If maybe, at the last second, I would have snapped to my senses and realized I was about to ruin the rest of my life. Then again, I've never been that bright either.

I sigh and go after Darleen. I probably should have stayed home after all. Seems like no matter how hard I try; my very presence is a curse. Everything I do just makes everything worse. I had good intentions, just wanting to see two of my best friends happy together. Now they are debating if they should even be together, to begin with. Maybe I'm just cursed. Call me Skylar the relationship destroyer.

Everywhere I go disaster and the destruction of happiness follow.

I find Darleen sitting out by the fountain alone. No one is supposed to be out here until after the reception. I silently sit next to her.

"I fucked up." She says.

"Again." I point out.

She glares at me.

I just blink back at her. I mean I'm not wrong. First London now this. Whatever this is, shouldn't have been confessed at the wedding. Probably one of those third or fourth-date conversations that should have happened.

"You okay?" She asks me.

"I wish people would stop asking me that, especially if they have their own fires to put out." I turn and look up at the sky.

"We just worry about you is all." She says.

"So I've heard."

"I thought you weren't coming."

"Probably should have stayed home huh," I sigh.

She sighs too.

"Do you love Mackenzie?" I ask her.

"I think so."

"Do you know what love is? What it feels like?" I turn to look at her.

"I... I... I don't know." She admits.

I smile and shake my head. "Then you still haven't found it. Trust me, you'll know when you have. It changes everything inside of you. When you feel it, you'll know without a doubt."

"I do love Mackenzie, I do. I just... get scared." She admits.

"Love can be terrifying," I acknowledge.

"I just... don't want to mess it up. All my other relationships left me hollow and confused. I don't want that with Mackenzie. I want this to be real, to be the one. I'm tired of searching, tired of trying to make things work with other people. I just want this to be it." She sobs.

"That's not how love works Darleen." I grab her hand in mine. "Love is complicated. It takes time and commitment and sometimes can be painful and confusing. You don't just get to pick who you'll love and then stop trying. Even after you've found the one you have to keep trying, keep doing everything in your power to show them how much you love them every single day. It's... a lot of work. Sometimes it will feel like it isn't worth it. Sometimes you'll feel like the luckiest person in the whole wide world. But no matter what, you have to keep trying. Never give up on love."